If They Stopped Shunning Tomorrow? (page 7)

poopie

I will tell you a story Benjamin Franklin was walking down the street with some Caucasian men and then he spotted a colered fellow the colored fellow tipped his hat to all the Caucasian men however only Benjamin returned the gesture the men were puzzled and ask Franklin why did he return the greeting Franklin responded by saying he was not going to allow someone that he felt was his inferior to outclassed him.

Giordano

Having caught up to the rest of this discussion I was startled by the point made that if they stopped shunning tomorrow what is the possibility they could resume if instructed to do so in the future?

For me this get's to the heart of the problem................so this is what I would discuss with family members or past friends and if the answer is that they would resume shunning I would tell them I can only deal with people who keep their word and or think for themselves.

My responce and actions would rest on that point.

KateWild

I'm confused Kate. You said your parents have never been JW, so I assume you joined as an adult and your kids are both mentally out. So how are your family close despite WT shunning policies? - Xant

Basically I am saying my kids did not adhere to the policies of shunning, instead one left and the other avoids all meetings when possible. They could have been so brainwashed by the cult that they could have decided to shun me. If either of them would have chosen to do so I would still forgive them. But thankfully they were not guided by the GB when I got Df'd and neither of them shunned me in spite of the policy. We remain very close.

Kate xx

galaxie

If those who shun because of an organisations directive, require same to abandon this practice then they are still of the same controlled mindset.

It is the natural act of loving association as far as close family primarily that I would have to be convinced of. In my experience those who shun to the most exaggerated degree have a problem with natural affection and may never be able to humble themselves by admitting they were guilty of such a despicable act. In my personal experience I'm afraid a change in the shunning practice would make little difference as I would have to feel genuine love.

Heaven

KateWild said: A better question would be would you welcome with open arms a family member who had shunned you if they had just learned TTATT?

If that family member apologized to me and wanted an open dialogue about TTATT then yes I would welcome them. If they wanted to try to control me, then no, I would not.

cofty

If you choose to shun people yourself then how are you any better than they are? - Caedes

Here's the difference.

If somebody stops shunning you because they got permission from 7 old cult leaders in New York, how is that something to get excited about?

If they would begin shunning you again tomorrow if the same 7 old charlatans changed their mind again, then nothing has really changed has it?

Anyway I don't think anybody is suggesting we would do well to shun anybody. My own observation was that I would treat my parents like an aging uncle and aunt who you exchange small-talk with occasionally over tea and scones.

FayeDunaway

I would open my arms and my heart wide. It doesn't matter if they finally had approval to talk to me, and that was the reason why they were back in my life.

Life is too short, they will be gone after a while.

It kills me every day.

talesin

lmao - and if the sky rained gold tomorrow, I would gladly welcome rain.

I don't indulge in 'fantastical thinking'.

talesin

From a scientific standpoint, psychologically speaking, a person cannot know how they will react in a certain situation until it actually happens. This thread is moot.

GrreatTeacher

I don't have family members shunning me, but past acquaintances would be dicey. If the just popped up and said, "We can talk to you now!" it would bother me because they hadn't apologized for how they treatef me in the past. If you don't own up to your mistakes and apologize, then I don't think it would be healthy to pursue a relationship. It would be like condoning past abuse without an apology.

If They Stopped Shunning Tomorrow?

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