How to tell if you are an Apostate...

by SYN 21 Replies latest social humour

• 

  SYN

  * Not only do you attend Apostofests, you manufacture little badges with Smurfs on them to wear to them!
  * More than one of your friends is simply "that guy from the Apostofest".
  * Your name is "Apostofest guy" (see Tourist Guy!)
  * You travel over national borders in order to attend Apostofests.
  * You know all the regular posters here by their first names.
  * You own a collection of Smurfs.
  * You have been referred to as the Spawn of Satan more than once by a Jehovah's Witness (bonus points for this sort of thing coming from an Elder).
  * You run an Anti site!
  * You think the Blood Doctrine is humuorous and are always looking for new updates about it from the Society to spoof and ridicule.
  * You have successfully compared the Governing Body to the 3 Stooges.
  * With photos.
  * You are responsible for a fraction of the content on JW.COM that is in double figures.
  * Whenever you hear the words "Organization", "Faithful & Discreet Slave" or "Governing Body" you burst into fits of laughter.
  * You have referred to people as District Overbeers.
  * You quote Rutherford, and even CT Russell when the occasion calls for it.
  * When you say BORG, you mean a tyrranical book publishing Corporation that controls the lives of 6 million people, and not an alien race from Star Trek.
  * You didn't enjoy the 8 day long Conventions.
  * You skipped your disfellowshipping hearing.
  * You laugh at Judicial Committees.
  * You wore a thong to your baptism. And you are male. LOL.
  * You have played the BullSh*t game! And won!
  * You have been escorted from an Assembly by the attendants.
  * You questioned what was being said during a meeting (geesh).
  * You skipped meetings and *liked* it.
  * You "witness" to people about the evils of the Watchtower.

  Come on people, add your own! Heh!

  "If men were like their personal ads, they wouldn't need personal ads."
• 

  peaceloveharmony

  syn, your list is hilarious! :)

  *being called an apostate is a compliment. especially if a jw does it.

  *you know wts doctrines better than the average jw

  *you spend all day online surfing the anti sites (sometimes all night too)

  I can resist everything except temptation-Oscar Wilde
• 

  Imbue

  your still active but...you get kicked off of JW web sites and chat for 'saying it like it is'...lol

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  "The only good elite are dead elite!!"-Naeblis
  (Ok! He borrowed it)
• 

  Valis

  * You supply Apostates w/ smurfs for their collections.

  * You bug JW relatives about WT cockups at all times.

  * You have ever been called an Overbeer.

  * You steal WT litterature from relatives for cheap thrills.

  * You own a copy of the Russell Autopsy video and know its real.

  * Would like to see the GB on WWF Smackdown

  * Witness to witnesses about the evils of the Watchtower.

  * Cook dinner for Apostates on demand.

  * Have ever hosted an Apostacrawfest.

  * Have ever gotten drunk at an Apostacrawfest.

  * Actively researching cure for the common Troll.

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  SYN

  LOL, cheap thrills!

  "If men were like their personal ads, they wouldn't need personal ads."
• 

  Xander

  Would like to see the GB on WWF Smackdown

  Yes, but would they respect Vince McMahon's ~~AUTHORITY~~!! {shaking red face}

  Come on people, add your own

  * You've read this list. After all, it IS on the internet. And, we all know what the internet is! (A wretched hive of scum and villiany)

  Xander F
  (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Ohio order)

  A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
  --George Santayana
• 

  BobsGirl

  * You ask your family in exasperation "when was the last time you thought for yourself?"

  * You are overheard saying "I grew up in a cult ... how about you?"

  BobsGirl

  "May the work of your hands be a sign of gratitude and reverence to the human condition." - Mahatma Gandhi
• 

  RedhorseWoman

  * You know much more about "new light" than active JWs.

  * You do not assume an awestruck expression when you hear the word "elder".

  * You are not afraid to read books by Stephen King, or to go to a horror movie (or even Harry Potter, for that matter).

  * You believe that education is good for you.
• 

  BoozeRunner

  How to tell if you are an Apostate...

  1. Your definition of a TROLL is not a fictional character from Lord of the Rings, nor a creature which lives under a bridge, but rather a JW APOLOGIST sh*t-starter who argues the FACTS on apostate sites. (btw, this troll DOES live under rocks @ the KH)

  2. You send out Thank You cards when JW family members call you an Apostate.

  Boozy
• 

  Nathan Natas

  You may be an "apostate" without ever having been one of Jehovah's Witnesses!

  What is Apostasy?

  This is clearly defined on page 94 of the Watchtower publication titled, "PAY ATTENTION TO YOURSELVES AND TO ALL THE FLOCK," which is the Watchtower's secret internal rulebook: "Persons who deliberately spread teachings contrary to Bible truth as taught by Jehovah's Witnesses are apostates."

  - Nathan Natas
  UADNA (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America)