How to reason with a rapist.

by flower 43 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Matty
    Matty

    Before Elsewhere replies...

    If I could expand a bit on whats already been posted, well, I once got really angry with a “brother” who made a comment while I was at a book study – I rarely get angry in the KH, I usually bottle it up. He mentioned something in the news about a girl that had got raped in the town centre, where there had been a spate of recent attacks – he mentioned how sad it was, but then he spoilt it all by saying something stupid – he said that “it was no wonder that something like this happens, seeing how the young girls dress and behave out in the town centre streets at night”. He’d obviously been looking vigilantly! After a chorus of, “yes, I know”, and the usual bullsh*t about “worldly” people’s behaviour, I said, “A woman should be able to walk down the street completely naked if she wants to, and not get attacked – I’m sick of hearing this kind of reasoning!” I then walked away and went home. Nothing about it ever got mentioned again in my presence!

    Well, he was basically endorsing a very widespread myth amongst Jehovah’s Witnesses, that women who look or act or dress in a certain way are somehow more susceptible to rape. He was in fact blaming every woman who has ever been the victim of a rape by implying that their experiences could have been prevented by altering their own behaviour in some specific way. Although to be honest, I don’t think any staunch JW ever thinks of anything that deeply, so maybe I was a bit mean to snap!

    But is rape really a punishment for women who dress really well, or are comfortable showing off certain parts of themselves? It’s a well known fact that appearance is NOT an invitation OR a deterrent of assault, nor is it a woman's fault if an assault occurs, whether she is wearing sexy or revealing clothes, or even an old flowery dress and cardigan and American tan tights (much beloved of Elderettes) – but most JWs still perpetuate this myth, which is substantiated very clearly in WT publications! It is made so clear to sisters what they shouldn’t wear – and the society’s books and magazines waste no time in their misogynistic blame transference. This so called “brother” was way out of line, giving credence to those old-fashioned rape myths that have made it so difficult for so many victims of sexual assault.

    Just my 2 cents!

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    SixOfNine, Opps! Here is the full date: Awake! February 22, 1984.

    Matty, you are right. Rape is a crime of CONTROL not lust. There are reports of 90-year-old women being raped by young men.

    Control.

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • Gozz
    Gozz
    *** Watchtower 1968 June 1 pp.345-50 The Christian's View of Self-Defense ***

    Would it be different if the man had a weapon and threatened to kill you if you did not submit? No, the Scriptures plainly state that Christians are under obligation to "flee from fornication." (1 Cor. 6:18) It is true that you face the possibility of death in this case. But you have no guarantee that if you meekly submit, your assailant will not kill you anyhow to avoid identification.

    BASTARDS!
  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Awake! February 22 1984 pp.24-7 They Resisted Rapists
    But the rapist is asking a person to break God's law by committing fornication

    [8>]

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

  • morrisamb
    morrisamb

    I'm one tough cookie and I don't cry easily but reading this information about how a woman should react to a rapist just sends me.
    I remember my own rape...I was numb and in shock and was in pain for days. If these men of God spent a day in my shoes, then they could tell me what I should have done! No, not even then.

  • simplesally
    simplesally

    In our are right now, there is a serial rapist. He is raping 70 year old women. All the women are elderly women. Its definately a hate crime and not a crime of passion.

  • Matty
    Matty

    I think we might get ourselves in a bit of trouble here - I prefer to simply say that appearance is not an incitement or a deterrent to rape.

    I don’t want to insult any elderly ladies by saying that they can’t possibly be sexy, so that must be proof that rape is not a crime of passion – …do you understand where I’m coming from here?!!

  • termite 35
    termite 35

    Flower; love to you...I have been attacked multiple times in the past.Tonight nearly killed my spirit;
    I was running ,I always run in the same area;in a big circle;in the countryside behind our cottage.i'd done 2 miles and was nearly back to the entrance,when two pissed guys from a group of 10 or so who'd been in their garden when I started off,appeared at various intervals which freaked me out,then minutes later,appeared from the origional gateway of the house i've passed a thousand times before,and stood in the path;the others stayed behind the gate;I swerved and redirecred my course away from them;but as I did I was praying I could get an extra adrenaline burst to get away...they just stood there in my way,waiting for me to reach them, calling out stuff i won't repeat... holding their beer bottles and laughing-I felt so sick -my head was spinning-it's incredible how fast and coherently your thoughts collect though, you can think of multiple senarios and counter attacks in a nanno second- they walked to my drink and sweatshirt that I always leave by the entrance.I realised I either had to run back-with no proper exits-just barbed wire fences; or go through the gate to home;I don't know if I was pumped up from the run or got the adrenaline rush I wanted-but I ran straight towards them ,stopped and shouted 'PISS OFF YOU LITTLE TOSSERS'grabbed my top and drink and started towards the gate,they sneered,but moved out of the way and back towards their gate.As they walked back I told them they were 'wankers...'and started to walk home.when I got back i was a bit of a mess but felt SO proud of my self.You see ,when you've been attacked before any action can seem so threatening that you go to pieces-it's so hard to not replay the last attack in your mind

    Sorry about all that,but my hearts still thumping as i write..my point being..the WTBS reasoning IS WRONG I have fought and have also been to terrified to fight and also made consious decisions ACCORDING TO THE SITUATION .and that's the point-you have to assess each situation YOURSELF. No one can do that for you beforehand-I just felt so angry today I turned on them;they may have only been learing, but I have to guess....Everyone has to decide what the intent is and the correct reaction .Now I have this on my mind again-Don't irresponsible little twats like that have mothers/sisters?I have been told by jw's I confided in in the past that I was'nt 'really' raped; because I did'nt follow the rules-bastards-I carried that guilt around for years..

    Rape/assault is an extreem action used by some one of low self esteem who feels powerless and who needs to reassert their pathetic self worth with violence and control, when their feelings of inadequecy resurface.

  • LB
    LB

    This thread needs to be looked at a bit more....

    bttt


    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • Matty
    Matty

    (((termite 35))) – thank you so much for your post – I don’t know what to say other than you’ve just made me so bloody angry about still being associated with such a cold-blooded organization – my guilt is growing more unbearable every day. You put it so well when you said:

    you have to assess each situation YOURSELF

    I can’t imagine in a million years how it must feel to be in that situation, so how can a bunch of old farts in Brooklyn have any comprehension about it?

    How can you possibly have time to think “Oh, what will the Elder’s want me to do – how can I handle the situation without getting into trouble in the congregation? What is my scriptural responsibility here?”

    Boll*cks to the Elders and Boll*cks to the WTS – you have to look after No1 and trust your instincts.

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