This is the story of how I ended up here on this site...
I was stuck in a situation where reaching out took forever, an eternity. It was ridiculous - no matter what I did, there was always more to do. I felt like a donkey chasing a carrot dangling off a stick in front of me - no matter how hard I tried & exerted, I would never be able to reach it. The elders were picky, fault-finding, over-analyzing my life, finding reasons as to why they should not give me further privileges, instead of looking at my positive qualities & finding reasons as to why they should (there were many). I did qualify, I was very sure of it. Unfortunately, I was a victim of congregation bureaucracy, having my spiritual progress hampered by elders who seemed to be intent on giving me a hard time
Reaching out & not getting there had a reverse effect on me. I was frustrated, tired, & drained. Instead of trying harder & doing more, I slacked off. I am an individual who needs constant motivation, and not attaining what I was reaching out for was a definite motivation killer
Things could have turned out differently, though. If I had been helped to make further advancement by the elders, I would be an elder myself by now & I wouldn't be here. If I had married a lovely, zealous pioneer sister, we could be pioneering happily together & I wouldn't be here. I could have easily ended up NOT being here if things had worked out better
It's ironic how my joy was killed by congregation bureaucracy, & as a result, I found my way here...