Oops! I just re-read the OP. My mistake... I missed the word *IF* [you] married lovely pioneer. Sorry to misread that.
-Aude.
How I Ended Up On JWN...
by Divergent 31 Replies latest jw friends
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NewYork44M
Wecome. I was an elder - it is really not a big deal.
So, this is the beginning of the rest of your life. I wish you the best.
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minimus
I'd rather you waste your time here, welcome!
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sparrowdown
You are right about their motivational techniques.
The promise of a big juicy carrot at one end of the dumb-ass ( er...I mean donkey).
And the threat of a big stick at the other end.
We both know which one the donkey is more likely to recieve.
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joe134cd
As I look back there are many things that could of been done to prevent me from ending up here, and funnily enough none of them were doctrinal. That come later.
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Fernando
Welcome Just Kidding!
Yes the Watchtower system cannot help itself - it is what it is.
The "good news" is that the system has done you a great big favour in pointing out that you do not belong.
You clearly are not good Pharisee material.
Nor do you belong in the "ruling religious clergy class".
And that is awesome news.
Best wishes on your life's journey, being true to yourself, and being the best you can, at whatever you want.
We'd love to learn more when you are ready to share.
Fernando
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rebel8
Welcome and good luck on your journey.
Like you, I used to think these titles and privileges were some sort of honor. Now, they seem more like Lord of the Flies nonsense.
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Divergent
Thanks for all your replies! Probably won't be able to reply to all of you guys though, but appreciate the comments =)
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KateWild
Many congs have the problem of nepostism and favouritism. There are many elders who love the power that comes with the position and don't want to share that power. From the platform you will constantly hear we need brothers to reach out, but really they want brothers who will be company men and agree with the most dominant elders. They want young brother who are drones to follow orders as elders.
I am sad you had to experience all this favouritism for a period of time, but this organisation is a cult and would have treated you badly no matter what. There are plenty of good decent elders that were just over worked. Other nice men have turned into the elders you have encountered, nasty nit-picking power hungry men, that don't care about motivating publishers spiritually.
They don't really want you in their cult, they just enjoy their power. I am sorry you have had to experience this, but stick around here, read some stories of why others left and get to know really how destructive this cult really is.
Take care, and keep us informed
Kate xx
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Divergent
FastJehu - Looks like I was that monkey too ;P
Never a jw - You wrote: "You are here because someone didn't tickle your ears." WRONG.I am here because I didn't tickle other people's ears
Bob - Didn't you hear the new understanding? Who are sheep or goats would only be determined at the great tribulation
Finkelstein - Talking about judging, it's amazing how elders can remember petty things that happened a long time ago & bring them up much later. It seems as though they have an elephant memory of every single mistake that an individual has made in the past, even those insignificant ones! (FYI I never had any major ones) I found out that such "issues" were raised when the elders were deliberating on whether to appoint me (they were not even issues at all, but they just HAD to find some "weakness" in me as an excuse so as not to appoint me). Seriously, WTF?
Stuckinarut - You asked why I wanted those positions. Was it for recognition or pride, or was it to help people in the cong more? My reply - it was for BOTH reasons. I KNEW that I would be able to accomplish more for those in the cong if I was able to serve in a better capacity and reach my full spiritual potential. As a matter of fact, I was often helping others in the cong in whichever ways that I could (however, the elders were turning a blind eye & often did not take any notice of it or acknowledge it). As for pride, I will honestly say: YES - it was definitely for pride! HOWEVER, there are 2 types of pride. The pride that I'm referring to is NOT the selfish type of pride, but it was self-esteem, self-respect, & self-worth that I valued. I wanted to be proud of myself - I'm sure everyone here also desires to have self-pride, wouldn't you? It's only natural to want to feel that way. However, that was not how I felt. I was consumed with negative feelings, feeling self-conscious & miserable. If I don't feel good about myself, how could I help others? Not being able to make spiritual advancement (not because I didn't qualify but because my sincere efforts were constantly blocked by the elders) only worsened the situation
Whatthehadas - Agreed. It's extremely frustrating to see other brothers being appointed easily while you're stuck & going nowhere. A less zealous brother from a small cong would get speedily appointed while those from larger congs could end up being stuck for years and years. Mine was a large cong ;P
AudeSapere - Small mistake, no big deal
Kate - You said "There are many elders who love the power that comes with the position and don't want to share that power. From the platform you will constantly hear we need brothers to reach out, but really they want brothers who will be company men and agree with the most dominant elders. They want young brother who are drones to follow orders as elders"
Totally agreed. One of my "problems" was that I was NOT a good ass-kisser. I SUCK at sucking up to people. This could be a reason why I never made elder. What you said about dominant elders is true - there were a couple of them in my cong & other meeker & milder elders would simply go along with what they say, even though they may not be in agreement. They would prefer to be silent rather than to exercise their right to speak out. I agree that there are many good & decent elders. However, the rule is that there MUST be a consensus and every elder MUST be in agreement with recommending an individual for appointment. So supposing there are 10 elders, let's say 9 of them are decent & 1 is an asshole. The 9 decent elders are NOT able to recommend that individual for appointment if the asshole elder objects, although he is clearly outnumbered and even though that individual is entirely deserving of it. Sad but true