How I Ended Up On JWN...

by Divergent 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Finkelstein

  I think one of the most frustrating things about being a JWS is the constant judging by others in the congregations

  mostly by elders in how and what your personal involvement and activities are within the congregation itself.

  The many rules of conduct are ominously oppressive.

  .

  Top that with the long list of extenuating details such as how your dressed, what are you doing in your outside social activities

  and this overall state of watchful judging puts people into anxious unhealthy psychological state of mind.
• 

  JustVisting

  by your tone, you sound as though you wish to have the WT version of a successful life. If you had been assisted in reaching those goals, the end result would have been in the end disillusionment. Consider it the greatest favor the WT ever did for you. You are free to have a better life, enjoy it.
• 

  AudeSapere

  Welcome! Thanks for sharing a bit of your story.

  Do you think that maybe one of the elders has/had a thing for your wife and was keeping you down in effort to cause trouble with your marriage and make himself look better.

  Sorry that came out cynical. But I've things like that happen in business. And the WTS is like a big business corp.

  Regardless. Welcome! We're glad you found us. You'll fit right in.

  -Aude Sapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself)
• 

  Finkelstein

  Some people join the JWs for some guidance and direction in their lives, but all too often over time the

  involvement gets too overbearing for many, eventually promoting themselves to leave.

  .
• 

  AudeSapere

  I'm curious ... How specifically did you get to JWN? Were you researching something else and stumbled upon this site by accident? Did a friend refer you here?

  Is your wife still an active pioneer? Does she know the level of your discouragement with the process of 'reaching out'?

  I'm not trying to pry. Just curious. Only share what you are comfortable with.

  -Aude.
• 

  stuckinarut2

  Hey "just kiddinng"...I am in the position of being "appointed and serving etc" in the cong, and let me tell you, its so much harder to sever the ties when you learn the TTATT from this position.

  I plan on fading out, but in the meantime it is killing me!'

  So, not getting appointed is a good thing for you. Its also good that you dont have a zealous pioneer wife, as this would also make it harder to leave if she is not of the same thinking as you....

  BUT, one thing concerns me....why did you even want those "positions"?

  Was it for recognition or pride, or was it to help people in the cong more? In the end remember that positions in the cong or organisation are just "big fish in a very very small and insignificant fish bowl"....of no value or postion at all in the real world....
• 

  whathehadas

  Before I left the Borg, I seened situations like yours. Where there was a Brother who had been reaching out for Elder and kept getting turned down. He eventually left and became a "apostate". While it is good that people leave that cult. The reasons people leave in your situation are transparent to the Witnesses that are still in. It adds to their perception of people who leave the "truth". The funny thing to me is when you have Brothers who don't care about reaching out as much and they get pressured to get positions. The ones who don't want it get it and the ones who want it don't. What a Org that is? 😯 They always cry about needing help to strengthen and make new Congo's and end up pushing men out because of their bad judgements
• 

  stuckinarut2

  Good point 'whatthehades'...

  I didnt want positions, as I am not one who enjoys the spotlight or "telling others what to do".

  I prefer to simply help people from the sidelines.

  But many appointed ones in the org are obsessed with titles and positions and getting the glory from all the 'friends'....If they dont get these, they often just disappear anyway....
• 

  Ding

  A carrot dangling at the end of a stick is an apt description of a works system.

  It's always just a little more... just like the end is always just around the corner.
• 

  Laika

  I'm guessing your Dad wasn't an elder? JWs are surprisingly nepotistic.