First Post - Emotionally Torn

by scaredtospeak 64 Replies latest jw experiences

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    Welcome to the forum, and congratulations on awakening so early in life. Out4good has good advice.. Advice that I struggle to follow. Do not worry too much about what others think of you.. You cannot please everyone and still be true to yourself.. You have one life, dont live it in a way others want you to and not in the way YOU need to.

    Also Datadog has a good idea. Are you aware of the awake article that promises people in 1968 that they will NEVER GROW OLD IN THIS SYSTEM, and will NEVER FULFILL ANY CAREER IN THIS SYSTEM? Maybe you should share it with them. Maybe ask them how old they were in 1968 and then read it to them, or let them read it. How can they expect you to put faith in the Governing Body when they have been so very wrong in the past.. How can you have any more confidence that they are correct about anything now?

    Try to stay strong. Have you checked out jwstruggle.org? It helped me greatly when I began awakening to TTATT. Good luck and keep us posted.

  • scaredtospeak
    scaredtospeak

    Thanks so much everybody. Already I'm feeling a lot better.

  • Abe Ostate
    Abe Ostate

    I was never a Jehovah's Witness, but I went through a similar struggle with my Baptist faith, which at times was very similar in terms of sexual repression and guilt at what a horrible human being I was. It took a number of years for me to finally deconvert, and things were touchy with my parents for a while (my dad wrote me a note like your mother's), but now things are okay. It's worth it, really. I don't have to worry anymore or feel guilty for nothing. I'm proud of who I am and confident in my abilities, and so are my parents. And if they won't let you be yourself around them, if they can't accept that eventually, then you probably don't want them in your life anyway, sad as that is.

  • sporece
    sporece

    I am 60 years old and became a witness in 1975 when i was 22 years old and spent 32 years as a witness. An elder for 2 decades.

    I feel i wasted 32 years of my life on a stupid religion controlled by a few men who have brainwashed millions of people.

    View it as a blessing that your eyes have been opened and that you can move on with your life and do what you like to do and not what the watchtower says.

    Life is good in the world, get an education ...maybe you can help help your parents to see the light in due time.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    If your two older brothers (former elders) have left The Truth(TM), why not take them into your confidence at this time, while asking that they do not share with your parents that you are discussing your doubts with them.

    Emphasize to your parents that you are NOT leaving Jehovah, just that you have lost confidence in the promises of the F&DS/GB because of all of their past failed prophecies. (YES, they have claimed to be today's "Ezekiel Class" prophet!) Thus, how can you make all of your decisions about your life on their promises. Tell them you must stick to the Bible and what it says. Demand that anything is supported by the Bible. JW publications never really do this.

    REFUSE to discuss anything with the elders. That will only get your ass in deeper trouble. If approached simply tell them you DO NOT want to talk about it.

    Like Indian Larry, I recommend laying low and attempting a fade vs. getting yourself DFd or choosing to DA. That way many friends or family who might be more "distant" but will still not shun you entirely.

    Be thankful you learned TTATT at a younger age (assuming you're college age) vs and old bas+ard like me who didn't plan for retirement in this "system".

    Doc

    And thanks for joining and posting. It's encouraging to see so many coming out of the darkness of The Truth(TM).

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    Go with your gut feelings. Keep asking questions.

    We are here to support you.

  • Ding
    Ding

    Welcome!

  • Watchtower-Free
    Watchtower-Free

    Along with the guilt there commonly is fear and dread .

    Many, myself included felt physically ill when first doing research on "apostate sites"

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Here's an idea, but it's cheeky. Is it just you and your two brothers? All exited? Then I would suggest to your parents that they have two options. They can't beat fate so they might as well join you all on the "dark side" and enjoy the short time here on earth with the people they most love in the world, or they can be a "model couple" at the convention several times a year, describing their stalwart stand for the "truth" and be lonely and alone.

    I've heard some of these stories and they give me chills. Imagine an elderly couple with an only child who while "out in the world" has a terrific motorcycle accident and is left paralyzed and dependent on round-the-clock care. These parents are following the WT's direction and limit their association with their only child. The complacent smiles on the parents give me chills. How is this in any way kind to anyone?

  • berrygerry
    berrygerry

    I don't where your journey will lead you, but use YOUR "power of reason" and, each time that you see a small bird, always remember that Y-O-U are worth more than MANY sparrows.

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