Hi marriedtoajw - it is so tough isn't it. 25 years you have put up with that and you let her drag the kids in. I have been having some success with my wife not going so frequently and her not taking my son. But circumstances will vary from case to case. Please PM me so we can chat some more. Cheers Frazzled
My wife is never going to wake up.
by marriedtoajw 32 Replies latest jw friends
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Perry
What do you do?
All I know is what worked for me when I came to the end of myself.
Stop trying to do everything on your own power. Try Jesus ALONE. Ask him to work it out:
...without me, ye can do nothing. - John 15:5
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Frazzled UBM
oh Perry - really???? I am afraid that doesn't strike me as very practical advice - so marriedtoajw should sit back and let Jesus get Mrs marriedtoajw to stop believing the WBTS BS? Hmmm...
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DesirousOfChange
Maybe you need to train her for college. I resent my parents for not training everyone for a higher education. It is called screwing your children up! Your job is to make sure she is spending time with her education and that she is going to college not door to door.
Yes. Concentrate on your children. You may never "save" your wife. Relax. There are worse things. She could be a compulsive gambler and squandering all of your life savings. As it is, she squanders one night per week (that used to be two) and a couple of hours Sunday morning at the Kingdom Hall. Being a woman, she won't be allowed to get much deeper in the Organization. Are any of your children boys? They are more at risk of being sucked into the mire.
I haven't gone back and read all of your posts to learn of your exact situation. Looks like this post was a bit of a rant and written at an emotional time. How does it all seem this morning? Hopefully better.
1) Concentrate on telling your wife and children that you love them and demonstrate it. Plan weekend get-aways that prevent them going to Sunday meetings and concentrate on fun and exposure to other people and things. Help them to see that other people aren't all wicked.
2) Ask "sincere" questions vs being argumentative. Make her/them research to find the answers (that can't be found). For example, there is a lot of hullabaloo over the anniversary of the Kingdom establishement in 1914. Ask them WTF the BIBLE points to 1914 vs this some man-made idea and then SIT AND WAIT for the answer. Let your daughters observe this ridiculous and impossible mind-fuck that is used. QUESTION the method of day for a year with things like the number of days in a year in the Jewish Calendar vs the Gregorian we use. (360 days vs 365 days which would make a 35 years miscalculation)
3) It would be better if you had a "friend from work" that discusses these things rather than "mentally diseased apostates" on the internet. This "friend" can provide you with WT quotes. OR, if you do get quotes (like the 1969 Awake magazine about a young person will not finish college) force them to prove that it is true/false. (My wife originally said that apostates alter things like that when they post them online.)
When you are stressing that you children get an education it creates the perfect opportunity to show their endless false prophecies on the end of the world. Explain to your daughters that you can't allow them to risk their future on more false prophecies. You can expect them to live good moral lives (in harmony with the Bible -- same as they say WT tells them to do), but they MUST get an education. WTS GB member Fred Franz supposedly was a Rhodes Scholar (or something) so education is GOOD. WTS has Bethelites who are lawyers, doctors, engineers, CPAs, etc. They don't just let "pioneers" go to court or handle the medical needs of the GB.
Your situation may seem unique, but it's not really. In most cases, even when a couple has excaped "togther" or where an entire family has escaped "together", there was one of them that was "first" and was in the same situation for some period of time that you find yourself in right now
Good luck,
Doc
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Perry
Absolutely! It worked on my adult son. I baptized him 2 months ago after asking Jesus to remove him from this cult.
Jesus advises "Come to me" (not Jehovah) all who are loaded down, and I will give you rest
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blondie
https://freedomofmind.com//Services/help1.php
It helps to read the parts of Steve Hassan's books regarding helping a family member get out of a cult. In many cases, what not to do or say. I'm not suggesting spending money on this but read his suggestions.
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KateWild
I used some techniques of Steven Hassan with my daughter, she woke up and left beofre I left. Kate xx
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Phizzy
Never say "never".
Many posters on here, and former posters, have been surprised that eventually the one/s they love DO wake up.
Great advice about Hassan's methods, and the mistakes not to make on the way.
Good luck !
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Crazyguy
educate yourself on what the bible really teaches, educate yourself on what the bible is not, the word of god. Once you have this education on what the bible teaches is not what the JW's teach and you have the scriptures to prove it as well as everything else the bible is about, then you will have the weapons to use to make comments and statements to your kids to hopefully start waking them up. You may never wake up your wife and I am in your shoes. But I hope to get as many of my children out of this cult as possible. If you're successful then the comments from your kids to your wife might finally wake your wife up.
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bigmac
sometimes its worth asking yourself if your marriage is still viable--even if the cult werent in the mix. i left it only a few years after i was married the first time. my wife was a born in--and still is. we are now in our mid 60's. she divorced me quick as a flash when i had an affaire--with a married sister--after 13 years together. there was no reasoning with her. it cost me my home and business---and--after a few years--my kids too. ( but i am now good friends with my d/f son )
that was over 30 years ago. now--?---ive been married again--twice--since then. made mistakes on the way--who hasnt.? my dub-wife did marry again--sadly her 2nd husband has now died and shes on her own ( as far as i know ). i sometimes wonder if she regrets her actions--after all---how many born-ins---now--in their retirement years----can seriously believe all that crap they were force fed ?