Am I part of the Cure or am I part of the disease

Jon Preston

So this is the ultimate dilemma. My wife and i are on the same page. Do we fade, in which all our friends, and i stress friends call us and feel sick and hurt and hurt and we feel guilty; or do we DA so we tell the WT what we see as wrong as what we see that lead us to believe its a false religion; or do we DF and let me or my wife let them catch us at some wrong doing and stop going to meetigs....

today we hing out with some cool people where they were witnesses but down to earth and had the same interests...but they spoke of a couoke who was Disfellowshipped and spoke how they seemed to be letting the world get em, looked fat and sick and stressed (yes that was what they said)

my wife cares so much about others that it makes it hard...what would u do in my stead?

keep in mind i dont give a crap if they like ME or not but my wife

kneehighmiah

I say don't DA. Don't play by their rules.

Jon Preston

But my wife cares so mich about how they feel as individuals...so what do do...i said the same thing to her and shesaid fadung was wrong because theyd bug the hell out of us

Satanus

Fading is a SLOW death of a thousand cuts, over and over. Dffing is one swift chop. I chose the dffing route. After decades, still kind of miss some of the friends i had. There is no easy out for one like your wife.

S

Jon Preston

Rigght she said the same...she said " well i could get dfed by smoking and being in-repentant to them...

Satanus

Getting dffed for smoking isn't as bad as for apostacy. A smoker is seen as weak, an apostate is seen as the worst evil scum.

S

Jon Preston

Right satanis weve figured that since everyone calls on my wife and she smokes it will be better to go some route with her as they dont snd never have found trust in me...she smokes and i am an apostate

berrygerry

There had been a bro. in our hall who was always making interesting comments (another year away from 1914, etc., always something - we're both rather intelligent, so I was probably the only one that he dared talk to like that).

Because I was doing an unknowing (to me) fade, and I ended up in a blindside JC, I couldn't talk to him.

And then I ended up here after.

If I had been here prior, I would be feeling out my friends first before deciding anything else.

smiddy

Jon Preston

Your wife sounds like she is one of those who have left the religion , however the religion has not left her , OR ,she is overly concerned about what other people think of her , and theirby living her life by somebody elses rules.

I have seen it so many times in the religion and so called worldly people , people who have never been JW`s .

They are overly concerned with what other people think of them when in company , instead of being true to themselves and doing what they want to do , choosing what they want to engage / participate in.

An example : A group of you go out to dinner , most , if not all dont drink in public , do you go along with the crowd ? or do you say to yourself I want a bottle of wine with my meal , and go ahead and do so , or do you think , oh no what will they think of me .

Maybe its a question of having low self esteem about oneself.

My motto is : Its a short enough life as it is , do what you want to do and your freinds and associates need to accept you for who you are .

Just my 2 cents worth

smiddy

NAVYTOWN

Just stop attending meetings. If ANYONE tries to ask why, just tell them 'It's a personal matter I choose not to discuss with anyone except Jehovah'. Keep repeating this as often as necessary. This might be the 'middle way' you and your wife are looking for. If your JW 'friends' drop you, then they are being un-Christian by casting the first stone and being judgmental. Point this out to them. Then go ahead and live your life the way YOU want to live it.

Am I part of the Cure or am I part of the disease

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