Am I part of the Cure or am I part of the disease

by Jon Preston 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  tiki

  it's interesting, but it really seems that different areas have different levels of "interest" in the sheeple who "stray"....our fade took years and i didn't even at the time realize i was doing it - but the cognotive dissonance was really getting to me.....we ended up just going on sundays, then i would go alone once in awhile on sunday and leave after the talk because i was so bored. anyway, how you manage the departure is up to you......

  i will stay adamant on the point of NOT playing their games. as soon as you agree to meet, or decide to "formally DA" you are basically saying that you believe they hold some authority over you and your free will. that is simply not true. you owe no one explanations, reasons - and stating or arguing your case only puts you under their thumb.

  fly under the radar, then simply disappear.
• 

  cultBgone

  Snare sez it best: remember it is all a game and none of it is true.

  Life is your reality. The Borg is a made-up fantasy game. Just stop playing, take your ball and go home and Live Your Lives.
• 

  DisArmed

  Jon,

  Don't worry so much. Don't let them have so much power. Live your life and let them do their thing, whatever that might be. I sort of did both, I faded and later was df'ed. After years of fading away it was funny no one called or bothered me. When they found out that I was going to remarry they tried every way possible including many phone calls and even registered mail (which I refused) to get in touch. Finally I answered a call and told the "brother" that it was funny they didn't try to get in touch till they thought they had something with which to discipline me. He literally laughed and gave me a half hearted example of when they did try to get in touch years before. I didn't know what he was talking about. Anyway, have fun with it, live your life and watch the circus begin. You will find many new friends, friends that won't stop associating with you just because you decide to not believe in something as they do.
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  Giordano

  For your consideration. My wife and I met in the early 1960's I was pioneering where the need was great. We married and she joined me in the pioneer service. Over the next couple of years I worked my way emotionally and mentally out of the truth and she joined me. Everyone we knew was a JW including our families.

  The congregation we served in was very small and we were trusted and well liked couple. So with out making a big deal about it we decided to relocate and privately end our association with the JW's. We said our goodbyes packed our belongings and left.

  As we were driving out of town (pop 7000) I realized that we had not made a single worldly friend or even an acquaintance. As we talked about that we realized how far off the human grid we were.

  All of these years later we can throw a party these days and easily have 100 people happy to join us. And just for old times sake we even socialize, on rare occasion, with two active witnesses' who know we are Ex's and non believers. I don't debate them about their beliefs but both have asked why we left.

  I guess the point I am making is that in the scheme of things it's non witness friends and acquaintances that will matter more. We both volunteer in our community and the people we associate with are the finest and most generous ones. The JW's do nothing for the community they just cling to their 19th century foolish beliefs and treat their own with extreme hostility should they stray from whatever new truth has become fashionable.
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  AlphaMan

  Definitely don't play by their man-made rules and DA or DF. That only re-enforces their perceived power over you. Just walk away. After that it's up to you how you deal with their inquiries.
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  Comatose

  Just stop and walk away. Don't live a double life or hide. If they try to DF you just ignore them and let what happens happen. Don't go looking for trouble, but just live your life. Pretend they don't exist. Never let them have control over you again. Maybe the fade works and you avoid DF by luck. But if it doesn't, don't meet with them, don't talk to them. Tell them not to come back to your house, you will call them if you need them. Tell them you will get a restraining order if they harass you on the phone. Just let them do whatever their silly rules want them to, let them spend tons of their time all busy with the horse shit. You live and forget them. Whatever they do doesn't matter. You are free.
• 

  jgnat

  There is so much concern about not hurting anyone on your exit. Would the same concern be extended to you if you were open about what you think?

  IN THIS CASE, why not DA yourselves, two letters? Your wife can write her heart out in her letter, which will be summarily ignored, but the two of you will get a clean break without the guilt calls. Send the letters the same day, team effort, united front.

  BTW, there is no obligation to give a reason in your DA, other than in good conscience you no longer wish to be associated with the Jehovah's Witnesses. Date and sign it.

  IF THE STUPID ELDERS call to get clarification on the DA, you can tell them to take a flying leap. Elders have tried this before but maybe your elder's body is smarter than that.

  I hate the idea of purposely getting DF'd. That includes a JC, questions, so much stupidity. Not to mention you did something harmful to get pushed out. And what if the elders decide on reproof instead? You're still stuck.
• 

  rebel8

  Playing by their rules in any form simply reinforces their self-appointed authority.

  Move away, move on, and get busy living a life worth living.

  If they bother you, send a certified letter of No Contact indicating you will consider further contact harassment/trespassing/etc. You can get letter templates appropriate to your jurisdiction on the Internet. Then follow through.

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEIJ3YqPbqg
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  lisaBObeesa

  If you df or da you are using their process and their words that mean that you are a bad person and God has cut you off.

  Are you a bad person? Has God cut you off? If not, why would you send them a letter saying you are?? (that is what any DA letter is to JWs, no matter what the letter actually says)

  Just leave and become a non-member, period. Not DA or DF. Moving makes this easier.

  Only JWs play play by JW rules. Only JWs can be "DF" or "DA." People who are not JWs can't DF or DA because they are not JWs. Become a person who is not a JW. You are free to do so and they have no right to punish non-members. Don't play their games.

  You and your wife will find cool people to hang out with who share your interests who are also not JWs. These people she cares so much about what they think are NOT her friends and will forget her quickly.
• 

  DesirousOfChange

  Only JWs play play by JW rules.

  Brillantly stated.

  Doc