Interesting thread OP. I thank Blondie for her courage to tell us about, no doubt, painful things in her past. I thank Magnum for your honesty and how you wrote from the heart, anybody reading your post could really feel with you. I appreciate Stillin's humblenes and kind words, after reading about other viewpoints. We can all learn from each other.
I lost a lot too - like many of you (born in, pioneered all my Life, spent 10 years at Bethel, no savings, donated even thousands of Euros to the Org, and finally lost my family to them, including my small Baby girl that is with her mother, living far away from me).
Now, to answer OP's question. It is a difficult one and easy at the same time. I used to feel angry and hateful (if you read my first posts here). Now, looking back I come to the conclusion that I refuse to give them my present Life and my future Life. It's got to stop. They already had enough. I refuse to spend one more minute in misery or thinking that I could have become this or that.
(Matter of truth is: we don't know. I don't think that I would have become a drug, alcohol addict or some criminal without the WT, but I also don't know if I had become a Doctor or Scientist or whatever). Life dealt us a card (either by choice or unvolutarily) and we played our game and are no in a different game. It really doesn't matter. Why? Sometimes I imagine, what if I had been born without arms or legs? What if we where born in a poor, war stricken country? I know, this is no excuse or way of "feeling better", but IF's will not bring any happiness.
It is as it is and now we have to cherish the MOMENT, the NOW we are living in. We only live in the present. Nothing in the past matters or in the future.
This is helping me, it might not make sense to you. But as some of you have said, I became a better person after leaving. After leaving the cult I started donating money and time for different charities that I care about and it makes me happy (something that the WT condemns).