To my friends, some reflections...........

by JPandelo 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Perry

  Best wishes Justin.
• 

  JosephMalik

  Hello Justin,

  I lived in South Camden NJ when I came became a JW. I agree that you need to devote your time to your family and build new relationships once again. We all need time for reflection after such an experience and that is what I usually recommend to those asking me. But as time goes on then what?

  How you live your life and what you teach your children is your responsibility. Each one of us must face the Christ on our own merits. So if you choose to continue to study scripture apart from organizational dogma to better guide your family along, fine. Knowing the real truth of scripture is both very satisfying and healing. Very little of what the WT teaches can be called truth so there is much to learn and unlearn. And this is an achievable goal as well with all the assets now available to you. Even if this is just for your own personal use and such a study should not consume much of your time. So if you can balance your new found freedom in Christ with an improved understanding of the faith then much of the disappointment that you now feel can be turned to joy, and rather quickly at that. But do give it all time. We can all see better if we simply step away for a while and then look back. Only then can we see where we really were and where we would like to go in the future.
  
  Joseph
• 

  Undecided

  Hi Justin,

  The one main practice that causes so much pain that is rather unique for the JWs is disfellowshipping. Many other religions have somewhat simmilar desires to control your lives by some inspired book, but the practice of isolating your family is so evil and hurtful.

  I think religious organizations waste so much of peoples time and money. Have you noticed when driving around how many church buildings there are and the money this must have cost the poor people attending? I prefer to let God just be a personal feeling of our imagination, since so far that's all the evidence we have. I agree that our family is the best place to spend our love and time. It gives real meaning to our lives along with our friends and other fellow humans(not just a small select group in an organization).

  I don't spend my time trying to destroy religion, but I don't mind pointing out a few of the fallacies as the opportunity comes along.

  I hope you enjoy your life with your family and friends as much as I do in my few remaining years.

  Ken P.
• 

  sadiejive

  Wise decision, Justin. I wish you and your family the best!

  sadie
• 

  recoveringexjw

  Do you want dierection in your life? Do you want to get back on your weary feet? Do you want to stand tall among other americans? Join the military!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• 

  LB

  Sounds like you have your head on straight Justin. Your family is having some very rough times because of those old guys back east.

  Oh take it from me on the military. If you want to get lied to even more than the WTBTS has, then joinup. Go visit any recruiter

  Your family is in our prayers.

  
  Never Squat With Yer Spurs On
• 

  Amazing

  Hi Justin: Good post. I generally agree with your views, and especially appreciate that at age 27 you have the liberty to change course and use your life to better purposes then serving the Watchtower, or fighting the Watchtower. That said, I offer some other views that may shows more colors to this rainbow:

  JW Elders have not all become hard-hearted clones. I do believe that since Ray Franz was DF'd in 1981, that there has been a steady 'brain-drain' of good men and women from the organization ... such that the cold-stone types have grown up to replace those who were not that way. We at least see greater evidence today that the men who serve as Elders are more and more mechanical robots. Yet, in spite of this, some try to do good, and it will only be a matter of time until they are forced to leave the religion. Notwithstanding, after my 25 years with the organization, I could never again serve people in that environment.

  As for the ultimate destination of the organization, I agree with you that it will likely die of its own dead weight, and any media coverage will only have a marginal effect. I think that if the Watchtower Society does last another 50 or 100 years, it will have been forced to evolve into a kinder, more moderate religion, similar to what happened to the Catholic Church. Except for the ritualistic styles, the Watchtower Society in many ways is an almost carbon copy of all the negatives of the Catholic Church, and few of the positives.

  I agree with you that how you spend your life should have its priorities centered on your family - primarily wife and children. However, aside from some whose goal is to bring justice against the Watchtower, there is another reason and purpose for beings involved as ex-JWs ... that is, to be there for many who are leaving the organization, and looking for an initial frame of reference before moving on to something else in their lives ... some do this faster than others, and some who have been greatly injured as JWs may need more time to heal ...

  So there are many ex-JWs who have chosen to help all they can ... and in this way, our time is not wasted as though the Watchtower is still in some fashion controlling our lives ... but no, there is a certain satisfaction that an hour or two a day on line, or some lengthy email exchanges and phone calls are positive contributions to the healing of others who leave the JWs ... this is something that each of us have to decide if it works for us or not.

  Were I in my mid-20s still, I would get away from anything JW or ex-JW related as fast as I could and never look back. At age 51 with my children all grown and moved out on their own, to live non-JW and normal lives, this involvement each day on the Internet has its pluses. I have had 100 times the positive experiences as an ex-JWs than I ever had as a JW ...

  In helping others, I find too that I have been helped in ways that I could not imagine ... there are obvious things that others say that help ... and there are subtle and humorous things ... such as the way Farkel or Englishman use their very different but powerful styles of humor to highlight some idiotic Watchtower belief ... I find I learn something, and gain another mile of liberty that I did not know needed to be traveled.

  So, while you are moving on with your life ... I hope you will stay a while with us, and enjoy many supprises that will benefit you, and the satisfaction of helping others as you are already doing by telling your story.
• 

  Jim_TX

  Justin,

  Good, well thought words. I wish you - and your family - well.

  I know that these are very difficult times for you and your family - hang in there - they will pass - and you will be able to look back at these days - and be able to pass on words of wisdom to others (as you are now doing).

  In all you do, though - be ready to help those that need help, and not just in a 'religious' way.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  Beans

  Well done, an excellent thread!

  Beans
• 

  Jewel

  "A happy life is the best revenge"

  I don't remember where I read that, but I think of it often in regards to this issue. When I left the Witnesses, I remember going through stages, sort of like grief-anger, feelings of loss, etc. In the end, the happy life and family that my husband and I have built speaks for itself.

  Too much obsessing just means that they're STILL in control of your life. Spend some time thinking about what YOUR principles are-what is your definition of honor and values and try to build a life that reflects that. Look for joy in the little things and let the rest go...