need advice

by search4truth 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • nugget
    nugget

    Before deciding what to do you need to decide what you want. Depending on your desired outcome then things play out differently.

    Sadly your wife's response is typical in confiding in the elders. She may have been forced into a corner and divulged more than she intended or she may be worried about your spirituality and sought assistance. However in either case you need to be cautious how much you confide in her in future. Use JW facts and the societies literature in any discussions and ask questions rather than present evidence. She is not ready to contemplate issues with her faith yet and pushing her too hard will create the possibility of her going back to the elders.

    If you want to continue to fade then depending on what you told your wife and what she has said then you can do damage limitation. It is natural to have doubts from time to time and you can thank the elders for their concern. You have just been a little overwhelmed by the adjustments that have happened in the last year and are having trouble keeping pace with Jehovah's chariot. You just need a little time to process the information from the organisation and have a rigorous schedule of prayer and personnal study to help you. If you have any questions you know where they are and will contact them. You are sorry if you worried your wife unnecessarily and are extremely grateful for their loving concern.

    Flattery and a show of compliance are your best friends in this instance.

  • etna
    etna

    Aren't you just speaking the truth. Ask her or them to prove you wrong.

    Etna

  • Ding
    Ding

    I agree with what others have said here.

    Your main problem is your marriage relationship.

    I know JWs are trained to tell all to the elders, but if you want to continue your fade you'll have to be very careful what you say around your wife.

  • Brainfloss
    Brainfloss

    I SAY WRITE A LETTER WITH YOUR CONCERNS TO BETHEL BUT ADDRESS IT AS IF IT WAS WRITTEN FROM THE COBE IN YOUR CONGREGATION.THAT OUGHTA KEEP'EM BUSY FOR A WHILE.

    BRAINFLOSS

  • clarity
    clarity

    Elders fib lie and call your bluff.

    They say things hoping you panic & spill your

    guts! Keep your 'trap' shut sweety.

    *

    "Speak to your spouse to see what she said exactly"

    all the best

    clarity

  • search4truth
    search4truth

    Thanks to all ,some good advice there.

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    As far as I'm concerned, this doesn't indicate a "problem" in the marriage byeond the problem of the religion itself. She could simply be afraid for her husband and think that she's doing this for his own good. You guys act like either JWs don't do this all the time, or like a JW marriage is supposed to involve keeping each other's dirty secrets from the elders. That's not how the religion is supposed to work. All that his wife can be accused of is being too sincere of a Witness. The suggestion of punishing his wife for "disloyalty" is frankly childish and smacks of domineering.

  • stillin
    stillin

    On the other hand, if you are the wife half of the spousal relationship, who cares? Really, what is to lose if the elders think you looked at something other than jw.org? So you got curious and found something really off the wall. What are they going to do? Your husband should have been a Nazi. And you should tell him so.

  • search4truth
    search4truth

    Thank folks. I need get opinion on something else , but for this purpose I'm going to start another thread.

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