Yes, people who fence-sit like that are kind of irritating, but kind of sad too. I don't know how they can stay that way for decades, but I've seen it too.
Disfellowshipping and reinstatement
by Lynnie 28 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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Lynnie
Yes I think that's the thing that bothers me the most, my cousin doesn't want to say anything
negative (about anything!) but it's obvious she doesn't want to go back all that much either. I know
she and I both hated going door to door and that is a big requirement of all JW's. Funny how
people can have blinders on for years!
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Quendi
Several factors played roles in my current status with Jehovah's Witnesses. I was disfellowshipped in 2005 and spent five years seeking reinstatement only because I wanted to have contact with people I loved and cared for. I have no immediate family in the organization so I couldn't be blackmailed that way. I refused to grovel before the judicial committee but instead constantly put them on the defensive with questions about WTS theology and policy. I was learning TTATT as well, and realized that I had no reason to embrace Witnessdom again. TTATT also made me realize that JWs are a cult and so are completely unhealthy for my mental, spiritual and emotional health.
The last straw for me was having the committee chairman tell me, "Quendi, we know it's been five years since you were disfellowshipped, but we still need more time to make a decision about your case." That was when I abandoned any and all further efforts to return. I have been much better off for doing so. A judicial committee is invested with the power to make or break people. Many elders serving on them revel in this and apply that power with all the delicacy of a sledgehammer. I know that not every elder is that way, and there are some committees which actually try to help the Witnesses facing them, but far too many are composed of corrupt men who are as guilty of other sins and crimes as the accused they have put on trial.
When I told my committee that the Society's own statistics showed that only one in three of those disfellowshipped or disassociated ever returned to the organization and that as a schoolteacher I knew this was a failing grade in anyone's book, I was given an angry and frustrated silence as an answer. I said this, not to convince them of anything, but to show that I was not going to be intimidated. Indeed, I was the one who intimidated them, and I will admit it gave me a fiendish pleasure to watch them squirm as I stabbed them again and again with quesitions they couldn't answer or situations they couldn't address. I don't doubt they don't miss me at all. They have never contacted me about returning even during their yearly review of who among the disfellowshipped should be reached out to. I'm glad because it means I don't have to deal with these cowards ever again.
Quendi
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DesirousOfChange
Hubby was never disfellowshipped, simply faded away. When he came back it took more than two years to be approved for field service.
A baptized publisher in "good standing" (not DFd) is never supposed to have to be approved again for Field Service. Unless something has really, really changed in the past couple years. Preaching is a command from Jesus and being baptized means you've accepted the command.
Anyone else hear of this?
Doc
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sparrowdown
lynnie- Don't yah just hate that old chestnut, "Oh, you musn't focus on the human aspect" UGH!
@DOC-
No, I have never heard of anyone needing to requalify for field service if they simply became inactive.
Maybe Mr jgnats elders were particularly vindinctive, I wouldn't put anything past them.
Some elders like to make up their own rules.
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Oubliette
Lynnie: Then she said "oh I don't think they do that anymore
Rest assured, they still do that!
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Oubliette
sparrowdown: Some elders like to make up their own rules.
You mean besides the GB?
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Oubliette
"Quendi, we know it's been five years since you were disfellowshipped, but we still need more time to make a decision about your case."
Quendi and I have had many long conversations offline concerning this very matter.
I had a similar experience. Once, about 4 years into my DFing, I approached the elders about being reinstated. (I had been going to meetings off-and-on for four years, but had been religiously consistent for about the past 9 months).
The elders response was, "It hasn't been long enough."
I asked, "How much longer do I have to wait."
The elders replied, "We don't know, there's no set time."
I had been an elder for 20 years and knew this was the standard operating procedure for many elders that couldn't make a decision, nevertheless I pressed the point, "How will you know? What do you need to know that you don't know now?"
Again, they responded, this time with visible irritation, "I just hasn't been long enough!"
"How long is long enough?"
"We already said, 'There's no set time!'"
Claims of "Holy Spirit" aside, the elders simply make it up as they go along. Most elders are more concerned about appearing "spiritually mature and wise" to their fellow elders than doing what it right, just and loving.
To be fair to them, they are somewhat constrained by the artificial, non-scriptural legalistic rules given them by the GB. Still, they are adults and no one has a literal gun to their heads. They have all made a series of decisions which have led them to become little more than robots running WT-Elder software.
For any and all people that have woken up and learned TTATT, I commend you. Breaking free from this cultish religion requires bravery, personal integrity and strenght. It often comes with great personal cost in lost family relations as well.
I've wandered a bit a field from the OP, but the fact is that elders can make it relatively easy or extremely hard for a DF'd person to "return," but in all cases the individual WILL have to suffer through the unscriptural and humiliating process as described by the WTBTS. On the short side it usually takes at least a few months and can go on for years. As Quendi experienced, sometimes the elders will NEVER grant a person's request for reinstatement and they can and will do that without ever giving a valid reason, or one that makes sense for that matter!
Do not be misled, this is a cult!
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berrygerry
Re: Oubliette's comments.
It seems like a religious group that self-flagelates.
If the group feels that you're not flagelating yourself enough, then the group needs to start flagelating you instead.
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jgnat
Hubby is a master at slipping through the cracks. When he faded the first time it was because he was separated from his JW wife for infidelity. It took him ten years to settle the divorce, too. Ticked off ex-wife. Well off the elders radar.