How Would Your Being Disfellowshipped Affect You?

by minimus 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  Daniel1555

  The elders are still debating if they want to view me as disassociated or not.

  I'd lose all my witness friends.

  My parents who are JWs more than 50 years wouldn't shun me as they themselves think shunning is wrong. But it would make life more difficult. Like would they sleep over at my place when they visit me and my son? What if other witnesses observe it?

  I am not sure if on the long run it would be better for my little boy if I am officially df / da?

  I am starting now to make new friendships with non JW. I already have some developing which is precious to me.
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  NeonMadman

  Nobody I care very much to talk with is still in the org, so it wouldn't really affect me in any way. However, it's been about 14 years since I've seen the inside of a Kingdom Hall, so if they came looking for me at this point, I'd probably get irritated enough to make a legal case out of it.
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  minimus

  Good, Neon! Daniel, I hear ya.
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  minimus

  Good, Neon! Daniel, I hear ya.
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  sd-7

  Well, it might lead to an emotional confrontation with my mom and older brother. Then a year or more, probably more, of emotionally abusive treatment at the hands of my wife. Occasional phone calls or even visits from the elders at Cheverly congregation. Being shunned by everyone I grew up with.

  Really, it would be terrible. I can't imagine what that would be like.

  

  --sd-7
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  dazed but not confused

  I wouldn’t care in the slightest. It would be tough on my mom but I think she would still talk to me. Not sure about my sister. She doesn’t talk to me much as it is. Otherwise nothing else would change. My MIL would probably still talk to me.

  We’ve moved on for the most part and aren’t hiding the fact that we celebrate holidays. Hell, I have an American flag on the house and put up Christmas and Halloween decorations outside.
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  sparrowdown

  I woudn't care, but there is the odd person I care about that would care (if that makes sense).

  Primarily though, I refuse to recognize their authority over me. It's just none of their business what I think or feel.

  So the way I see it, to DA myself or being openly apostate to JWs leading to an investigation would be playing by their rules.

  Not gonna happen.
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  adjusted knowledge

  It would have no impact on me. Just my mother is in and my sister but they wouldn't shun me. They know a lot of the teachings are BS but want a belief system.
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  DesirousOfChange

  I worry more how my disfellowshipping would effect my love ones.

  True. Because it forces them to have to make the decision about shunning you.

  Especially friends (not family) would live in fear of the risk of being DFd themselves if just caught talking to you.

  Doc
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  OnTheWayOut

  Minimus, you really asked a great question there.

  It could so easily happen to me. Heck, I wrote a whole book about my journey into and out of "the truth" and made it available to others. My JW wife or in-laws or my mother could one day call the elders on me. The elders could decide all on their own to pursue me.

  Would I care?
  On the surface- NO! I would continue to live as I do. I would feel a bit freer but I really already made all the changes in my life. I don't think I would just sit still and let them DF me if they called me to the carpet for something. I would reply with a legalistic Doc Bob letter (docbob.org) and probably would not meet with them, then I would appeal if they DF'ed anyway and go that whole process again. Ultimately, I might just let it go after the appeal.

  Would there be any repercussions?
  YES! My mother says she would have to honor the rules. I don't think she would, but it would definitely change our relationship. It would make my in-law family very uncomfortable and change things there. I would still have the same relationship with my wife, but her few JW friends that do cross my path would have to uphold the frigging rules and shun me.