by minimus 39 Replies latest jw friends
The ONLY way it would affect me is that I would lose all contact with my family. And it looks like that is same for everyone.
That is why their shunning practice works so well. Nobody cares about any other repercussions.
It is a cruel institution that works exactly as they want it to.
I agree this is a good question. This is something I think about from time to time, and in fact was recently contemplating starting a thread related to this very topic.
Over the years that I have been out, I have done several things that could have easily gotten me df’d. For example, celebrating ALL of the holidays, going to church services, and living with my ex for a year before we got married. I live away from family, but in the beginning I was pretty paranoid about people finding out. I have relaxed some, but I still worry. This is one of my main reasons for not having a facebook account.
A few people mentioned worrying more about the impact on their families. I agree, but need to clarify that my concern isn’t for the JWs, it is for my immediate family, who are not JWs. Me being df’d would make things very awkward for them in dealing with the JW side of the family. They would stop going to family functions because I wouldn’t be invited, causing a strain b/w them and the JW relatives. I’d like to avoid that scenario if possible. IDGAF about the JW relatives because it would be a choice they would be making (although many would argue whether or not they truly have a choice, I think they do). Isn’t it sad the far reaching affect that religion can have, even on those that do not practice it?
once my mom and dad are gone i couldn't care less indeed i welcome it
I've realized in the last couple of years that I can live without my parents. In fact, I practically do already. I worry more about losing my relationship with my in laws. Also, it would be hell on my wife for a while. She would stay with and support me, but she does understand that our lives would irrevocably changed.
As for friends, the few I have will see it as a betrayal of their trust. Sounds twisted but they will see me as having lived a lie.
Other than that, of course I will lose the prospect of everlasting life in a paradise panda petting earth.
As a gay man I was never given the option to have a soul mate in this bigoted organization (I was not going to ever marry a nice sister as an elder suggested when I told him that I was gay). After years of helping in both english and spanish congregations I am almost at the end of a fade though I am ready to DA myself if confronted by the elders (I do plan on having my first boyfriend by years end). I only have my mom and sister and they may continue to talk. I feel for all of you who do have a spouse in though.....
Feeling "uncomfortable" would be a reality.
If you had NO family or friends in the cult---no big deal. But it get tricky when your beloved family gets hurt or becomes affected.
Still, I would NEVER go back, even if I were threatened with judicial action. They cannot control me.
“minimus”: “ I would be only affected negatively due to my mom's circumstances. But if they decided to shun me, that's their choice.”
I take it that you have not been actually disfellowshipped as yet. If you are not actually disfellowshipped by now, then I would say that you have been doing quite an excellent job of being able to remain under the elder radar, and my hat would certainly be off to you, sir. That would be quite the chameleon act!
Not much would change as all those who were my "friends" already shun me just because I no longer attend meetings.
Says, I regularly see some elders at my mom's house and I have been invited to special meetings and the Memorial but I wasn't feeling like they were too pushy. I always thank them and smile and then ignore their invites. So far it works for me.
What I mean is... I plan to leave abruptly. I plan to politely decline any requests for meetings or JC hearings. Those are all WT matters and I will not play their game no longer. Some choose to fade, and that's fine. But I want them to know that I am so convinced that they're ful of crap, I will have no need to step foot into another KH or Assembly etc. ever again. The so-called friends I had IN the ORG were some of the most petty, sometimey, 2-faced individuals I've ever known. The org has had no POSITIVE affect on my life with the exception of my wife. Even she has a problem with the pedo scandals and policies.
Why not 2014? Well, because we're already IN 2014...and I want to start my clean slate on a day that no one that knows me will forget. They will know that the second after the end of the 100th year of Christ's reign, I left the ORG.
1914 - 2014, 100yrs of new definitions to Apostates, Generations, Governing Body, International conventions yadda yadda, no big deal... you guys stay if you want, I think I've had enough of the BS...good bye.
In my life, I see (have to deal with) JWs at the meetings and an occassional gathering. When I think about it, they have very, very little impact on my day to day life. None of them pay my bills, I work with none of them, when I come home, they are not here to monitor me... WHO WOULD I BE PLEASING? WHAT'S THE POINT OF IT ALL?
WT will still pull in about $140,000,000.00 per Month without me...what's ONE lost sheep right? LOL
