Give me a reason not to go back

by chukky 594 77 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  The Searcher

  If you go back, do it YOUR terms, no one else's!

  I'm in the end-game of my fade now. If fellow Witnesses in my new cong keep their distance because I don't do proselytizing for JW.ORG or attend every meeting and assembly from now on, so be it - it's their loss!! I don't need "Christians" like that around me. Birds of a feather spring to mind.

  I love life, have a pretty good sense of humour, and want to to help anyone if I have the ability to do so. I am going to live my life as a Christian the way the Bible teaches - not the Gospel according to Brooklyn! I have broken that yolk forever now!
• 

  kairos

  Make a list of the positives and negatives.

  Going back after seeing things clearly would be like giving up on life for me.
• 

  LisaRose

  Why did you leave ten years ago?

  If it is because the religion did not benefit you, it's likely nothing has changed.

  In times of personal crisis, it's natural to go back to something you know, something familiar. Before you do that you need yo consider what your motives are and whether this organization is right for you.

  Since leaving the Jehovah's Witnesses I have come to believe that it is a cult. Do yourself a favor and read Combating cult mind control by Steve Hassan. The effects of a cult is felt long after you leave. Your time as a JW may have still been affecting you. Getting informed will help you make better decisions. If you do go back you will at least be prepared to recognize the manipulation when you see it.

  I can tell you that the organization has gotten more controlling in the last ten years. Many are complaining about the lack of love in the congregations, the bickering and gossip. The governing body have promoted themselves to be the faithful and discrete slave, instead of the body of annointed one. Child sex abuse is still being hidden and the organization continues to pretend they have no problem despite multi million dollar verdicts against them. They are sitting on vast amounts of money from the sale of property, meanwhile they have reduced the magazines to a few pages. They are now promoting their website, JWs are expected to buy Ipads to save printing costs.

  If you are looking for a moral compass, this is not it.

  There are better religions out there, try a few, you might be surprised. Or better yet, look for that moral compass within yourself. You likely know what you need to do to be a better person, why not explore that? Get some counseling if you need to to make your external actions match your internal compass. Take care

  Lisa.
• 

  Batman89

  BAD NEWS: You're the ONLY person who can turn your life around

  GOOD NEWS :You're the ONLY person who can change your life around

  your in the place you are now becasuse of past thoughts, feelings, actions and choices...the key to improvement is changing those things to get results you want. Going back to religon deosnt address the root problem it just puts a temporrary band-aid on it. YOU are the key!

  You need personal improvement and empowerment that's TRUE SPITITUALITY, not religion

  read books that can help you to think differently, try yoga and meditation, turn the TV off and go outside and experience nature, find a hobby, exercise,etc these things bring you into oneness with yourself. Religion was designed to take you away from your true self

  know that you can do it...all the answers lie within you : )
• 

  SAHS

  You need to differentiate between being an approved JW and living a decent, happy life – and to realize that the two do not necessary have to go together.

  JWs are taught to believe that any financial, emotional, or physical hardships are a result of not being a member in good standing with the WT Society. The JW religion thus instills a kind of superstitious behavior in that the ritualistic activities and legalistic prohibitions required are thought to alleviate spiritual emptiness and make a person acceptable to his Maker, God, and thus be spiritually whole. However, one needs to realize that their life being a “mess” is not due to the failure of satisfying the expectations of any religion which is man-made but, rather, is to a large extent related to their own practical decisions and actions.

  My suggestion to you would be to honestly and fearlessly examine all the elements of your life, including financial, emotional, interpersonal, and physical, and see if there are things like financial management assistance, positive affirmations, character development, or diet and exercise which can give you the actual power to sort out and modify whatever “mess” your life may seem to be at present.

  In other words, think in terms of taking positive and practical steps to improve various aspects of your life, exploring new and empowering information which can open doors for you by giving you objective insight toward a better spiritual perspective. Anyone can put their own unique “spin” on the Bible (or any other “holy book”) – and many do – but one needs to be able to look above all the trees and see the entire forest as a whole – and that requires being able to think outside of the box.

  Just remember this, my friend, which is very important: “religiosity” and “spirituality” are not one and the same!
• 

  defender of truth

  If you wanted to share what country you live in perhaps a meetup could be arranged. But if you need a religious group, it may be that you don't quite know yourself and your own moral standards, or you may be unsure.
  That being said, even atheists are supposedly welcome in the UU, so if you feel that you need social structure and a group with a moral code...
  Let us know what you decide. As an active JW, I know that I'd rather throw myself under the nearest car than see anyone unwillingly trapped in this endless cycle of meetings and service. I'll never convert or return to any interested person.
  
  If you do not HAVE to return because of family issues, PLEASE don't throw your life away on a controlling, pathetic little cult.
  This is some info on the UU movement, if you are that desperate for some structure/purpose..
  "The movement proclaims the importance of individual freedom of belief, and it includes members from a wide spectrum of beliefs....The movement does not have an official definition of God, but allows members to "develop individual concepts of God that are meaningful to them." Members are entirely free to "reject the term and concept altogether...Services in the movement's churches do not make much (if any) mention of God. They emphasise human, ethical and social issues, and do not assume a belief in God."
  ...
  "Unitarian Universalism is a liberal religion born of the Jewish and Christian traditions. We keep our minds open to the religious questions people have struggled with in all times and places.
  We believe that personal experience, conscience, and reason should be the final authorities in religion. In the end religious authority lies not in a book, person, or institution, but in ourselves. We put religious insights to the test of our hearts and minds...We affirm the worth of all women and men. We believe people should be encouraged to think for themselves."
  http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/atheism/types/unitarianuniversalism.shtml
• 

  nugget

  In Proverbs 7 there is a list of things God hates and one of those things is liars. This orgainsation lies so often to it's members and the public that it is impossible to trust what they say.

  If you are looking to them to fill the spiritual void remember they lied to you. How then are they equipped to be a spiritual compass in your life.
• 

  cultBgone

  Chukky, haven't read thru all three pages yet but I think THIS is why you should never go back:

  hi

  been out for 6 years and so has my wife, but she cant move on as well. just went out for a drink and bumped in to wifes former JW friend. she looked wife up and down and looked away. Wife went ballistic shouting that she was a so called christian and shouting that if this was christianity, then she could stick it! hasd to pull her away. Now, i feel like i could kill these b*******s with my bare hands. Is there any way to bring this religion down? Is there any way to sue them, or organise a local publicity campaign against them etc etc. I need some way to pay them back for ruining our lives

  thanks for listening

  chukky

  Why would you EVER want to return to THAT?

  Perhaps you need to stop looking at what you don't think you have...and start looking at what you DO have. You can't measure your life course by how jdubs treat you! You need to find your own happiness, and it doesn't sound like that's happened. Just from reading your OP it sounds as if you're measuring your life by jdub standards. That doesn't even make sense.

  What is really holding you and your wife back from actually LIVING your lives? That's the question.
• 

  rebel8

  Leaving a high control group without taking the necessary steps to heal is what alcoholics call "dry drunk". Some people leave only because things got bad, but they never healed the pain it caused, so they just keep the same sort of behavior patterns and often relapse. The relapse happens when they start looking at the past with rose-colored glasses and seek the familiarity of their former chaotic behaviors.

  This is not about doctrine or a bunch of bozos. It's about a totally unhealthy way of thinking and behaving--the entire lifestyle is toxic.

  You deserve a life worth living. You have to do the difficult work of healing to get there.

  Grief and Relapse Prevention for Ex-Cultists
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Life is a mess? Clean it up.

  Tell us how your life is a mess and what you believe is the "spiritual compass" that you are lacking that Jehovah's Witnesses provides.

  My life was a mess and I thought it all was straightened out by becoming a JW. All I did was learn to supress the "mess" that was my previous life and stay so busy with JW activity that I thought I was heading in the right direction. That was my compass. But the mess under the rug was still there and I eventually had to deal with it, only it was worse because I ignored it for so long.

  If life is a mess, figure that out. Counseling or guided self-help or giving yourself a purpose that you get to control instead of Watchtower controlling it, that is what you need to figure out.

  I don't know what you mean by a "spiritual compass." Are you saying that you are immoral without Jehovah's Witnesses, and how so? Or are you just saying you don't automatically "know" what "THE TRUTH" is without them? Because their truth is a lie and their rules of morality are so burdensome and unhelpful. You might just need a "compass" without the spiritual part. If you just need the instant friends and family, look for other groups that don't place such a burden upon you.