Work towards getting your life started away from the Cult. Make some goals and go live your life to its fullest. Just because your mom is delusional you don't have to live this way and ignore the elders and stop asking for privileges its all designed for power and control over you. One last thing be very thankful you realized this is a cult before you wasted years of your life..
So I'm going through a really difficult time right now.
by scaredtospeak 40 Replies latest jw experiences
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bigmac
scared-----you dont mention your father--is he at home ?--is he a dub ? if the answers are---no------is it just you and your mum at home ? if yes--why not try to get her on your side?
such as---say theres no point in you going to the meetings if you cant take part: try to get her sympathy. let her go into battle with the elders.
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joe134cd
They watched me and eventually it got to much so saved them the trouble and walked.
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disposable hero of hypocrisy
Yep, wot they said ^^^^^^
Could be worse, you could be in your forties and just discovering the truth about the truth. You've got your whole life in front of you kiddo, take your time, play the game for a bit until you can act. Voila! Good for you!
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NAVYTOWN
Sorry to hear about your difficulties. Just a suggestion: When the Elder's ask you prying questions about personal matters or try to coax you into 'doing more', etc, try saying this: 'Thank you for your concern. But I am doing the best I can and, by relying on Jehovah's help and guidance, will continue to do so. If I need any other help I will definitely let you know'. Saying something like that might get them to at least back off a bit. If they pressure you further, just continue telling them essentially the same thing. DO NOT get drawn into detailed discussions of your supposed short-comings. Keep an upbeat attitude and tell them their concern has lifted your spirits. Then end the discussion. Best of luck in the future. Hang in there!!
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The Searcher
Hi S-2-Speak, So sorry for your anguish, but you are in a surprisingly good situation.
Aren't you blessed to have your "privileges" removed!!!!
I rescinded all of mine, and life is so much better.
Ask your mom for Bible answers why the Org removes only certain privileges, but "allows" you to continue field service? The reason is this - we're involved with a CULT, and it's all about their control over gullible people.
We're sucked into the middle of the spider's web before we realise the true consequences of our actions, then it's too late to escape without suffering consequences.
My advice: accept with thankfulness your loss of privileges, and DON'T try to get them back. Start reducing any field service which you are doing, and start to miss meetings.
Anybody questions you - just say that you've got really personal issues you have to deal with, things that you can only talk to Jehovah in prayer about. (stress "personal")
Refuse point-blank to discuss ANYTHING with ANYONE - even your mother.
This way, she'll blame the Elders for your weakening in "the truth" and she'll stay on your side!
Start making YOUR rules for the game!
I hope you give us happy news soon!
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3rdgen
Hi Scared, Welcome!! I understand your frustration. My parents were very hard line JW's. The only way to please them was to do well in the "truth". My dad died early in my last year of HS which left me alone in the house with my mother. Although I was never put on restrictions. I could have if I had been found out. I made the mistake of marrying at 17 to escape the stranglehold of my mother and the overseers at the KH. I ignored my studies and wasted my last year at school. Please be smarter than I. Apply yourself at school and brainstorm with your councilor on ways to attend college like scholorships etc. See if partime work is available. It might take your mind off things and show your mom you have inititiave. Like others have said make a real plan to save enough money to move out. If possible, pick a time when you and your mom are having a pleasant convo to confide how much more meaningful the meetings would be for you without the restrictions but don't ask for them back anymore. Let the elders look like jerks for being so unmerciful! Don't express your doubts anywhere but here- it will make things worse. Hope this helps.
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KateWild
You say you don't want to be a JW anymore. That's a start, JWs leave for all sorts of reasons but leaving mentally and physically is not as easy as it seems. WT is a cult and the things you have been taught about Jehovah, Jesus, Armageddon and many more can stick with you your whole life. If you really want to leave the best things you can do are research from jwfacts.com and formulate your exit plan. Then once you leave you will be gone for good.
I am sorry the elders are treating you like dirt, I have been there, they don't listen to a word you say and just nit pick, how can they really be guided by holy spirit?
Take good care
Kate xx
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OneEyedJoe
Remember that you're not alone. There are thousands out there going though the exact same struggle that you are. That's always a comforting thought.
Also, I consider you to be quite lucky. You've got things figured out at such a young age that it will be much easier for you to break free of the cult and start a life than it has been for many here. I'm not so bad off myself, but I would give anything to have known TTATT when I was your age. I know "it could be worse" is never that comforting, but better to deal with a few agonizing years now than have to deal with agonizing decades due to a spouse and children keeping you stuck in the cult.
When dealing with your parents and the elders, always remain calm. If you get angry, they've won (at least in their minds). When they come at you in defense of the cult, try to take pity on them because they don't know the truth and you do. They're even more backed into a corner than you are. You have an objective mind, and that's a threat to their world view so they'll come after you, but you can use your objectivity to beat them. You have a way out (even if it's a few years off) while they may be mentally imprisoned in the cult for the rest of their lives.
Stay strong, it'll get better. We're all rooting for you!
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DesirousOfChange
a sixty year old man told me I was dressing too provocatively, which is probably the creepiest thing in the world.
Do you have a father? JW or not, doesn't matter.
He should go make a scene about a 60-year old "dirty old man" gawking provocatively at his 18 year old daughter.
IF you do not have the father that will do that, then YOU can make statements about old Brother Perv lusting after your young, hot bod. TELL EVERYONE! Tell all the other teens in the KHall -- it will get back to their parents. Warn other young girls about his pervy attitude. There is NO WAY for him to spin this to look good.
I know of a Ministry School Elder who counseled the young sisters that they should be wearing hose/stockings when they had a part on the School. The father of a couple of the girls went up to him (with 2 other Elders present) and he flat out told the old perv that when addressing his daughters he better only "look them in the eyes". If he EVER caught him glaring at his daughters boobs or legs again, the matter would be settled "out back behind the KHall".
Doc