Help

by Horseygirl12 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  ABibleStudent

  Welcome Horseygirl12 and ((HUGS)), You have a lot of issues to resolve: thinking about suicide, dependent on your parents for support, being a teenager, not wanting to be a JW, etc. Suicide is irreversible, so talk to a professional counselor as soon as possible. Search the internet now for crisis phone numbers that you can call now for help before you are too depressed. Everything else is reversible and you can change your life after your parents no longer support you.

  Start making plans now how to become more self-sufficient from your parents. Go to a local school and ask to talk with a guidance counselor. If the guidance counselor doubts your story, ask him to visit Steven Hassan's website www.freeedomofmind.com. There is lots of good information on Steven Hassan's website that should help the counselor to better undertand your situation.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
• 

  Sail Away

  (((Horseygirl)))

  I have been suicidal. I had two mantras that got me through the darkest hours:

  1. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  2. Suicide is not an option.

  Please follow the advice that has been given-- see your primary care doctor or a mental health professional and tell them everything. Don't hold anything back. They will be able to give you the help you so desparately need and deserve. Please let us know how you are doing!
• 

  ruderedhead

  Sweetheart, you're 15, you have an eating disorder, you're cutting & you're depressed. If your parents aren't getting you professional help, I'm BEGGING YOU to ask them to get you the PROFESSIONAL help you so desperately need. Everyone on this forum is here for you, but you have issues that obviously require a trained professional.

  15 is too young for sexual relations. Crushes, kissing, fine. If you're a lesbian, you're a lesbian. Worry about that more after you've resolved some of the other issues you have. In the, end you don't need to discuss your sexual orientation right now with your parents. I don't know if this is too much information for you, but about 8 years ago, there was a young woman running a dance studio where one of my children went. She is a lesbian, and , a couple girls, who were teens just a bit older than yourself, and still in high school, dated her. I don't believe she preyed on them, they just had other issues and were looking for someplace to fit in. One Mom put a stop to it due to the daughters age, and the daughter is actually not a lesbian .I believe the other was with her a while, don't know the end story on that one. When one has multiple problems in life, we may gravitate towards someone who is being kind to us, even thought they are not preying on you, you seek their kindness and attention. In a couple of years, after you have worked through some things, you'll be wiser and more mature, you will know.
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  love2Bworldly

  can you secretly join a support group for gays/lesbians? you need a place to vent and not feel so isolated

  Please talk to a doctor or someone who can help you, it doesn't sound like you can take 3 more years of living at home, but you have to decide if you can deal with the alternative of living in some type of foster care until you are 18 but it would be a way out for you

  my daughter was a cutter and she is a lesbian and I was able to put her through counseling and a special school, I am so sorry that you don't have a support system at home-- but don't give up!!!
• 

  rebel8

  There are mental health hotlines you can call to talk to someone when you need to--many of them.

  IMO your focus needs to be on how to survive the next ~2 years until you're old enough to escape. You can do this.
• 

  Crazyguy

  You may not like this suggestion but hunker down, concentrate on getting the best education possible even get scholarships if you can. Get yourself prepared for your new life after you turn 18. But if you're not prepared you're going to struggle, so plan make goals and make it happen..
• 

  ptt7000

  Hi Horseygirl12, You need an advocate, someone to talk between you and your parents. You first sentence shows your frustration. Can you go back to the school and ask to speak to the counselor. Tell her you need help and he/she will know what to do. There is a lot you need to talk about and growing up a witness I know most parents won't know how to help you or can't unless authority figures make them listen. You need to know there is always a place for you to go with the help of the social worker. I wish you the best. But slip away real soon and tell your counselor.
• 

  mohrb

  If you don't mind my 2 cents, Horseygirl:
  
  1: You're not a freak. Your parents aren't perfect. The value of your life has nothing to do with their approval. Some very good people I know became strong because of very challenging homes.
  2: The above suggestions are absolutely correct, you DO need someone to talk to and all that... but until then... just remember to breathe. Depression is pretty common, and it can be suffocating if you try to ignore it. Find some music you can identify with, that lets you feel all the things you're angry about. It's like massaging a sore muscle... it hurts a bit while you're rubbing, but releases the pressure in the long run. Some good angry music really can calm you down.
  3: The most disturbing sentence I saw was this: " I would just obey them and be a JW I would be happy." Regardless of your relationship with God, you don't have that relationship "to obey your parents." Your parents SHOULD encourage your faith, your faith should never be something "to make them happy." What's the greatest commandment? Is the "greatest commandment" not to think girls are pretty? No, it's to love God, and love your neighbor. All humans. Even if they're gay. Or republican. Or a scientologist. You don't have to approve of their scientology. But you have to love them. If your parents can't get that, you've got 3 years to learn from their mistakes until you're free.
  
  Just don't pull the "kill yourself" card. Doesn't solve anything, doesn't prove anything, it's expensive and messy. And it's a punk move. Instead of that, learn from your pain while you have it so you can be the difference for someone else when they're feeling like you are now.
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  mohrb

  If you don't want to be a JW... figure out why. Don't do it because you may be bisexual or because of something having to do with your parents.
  
  Try to untangle one issue from another so you don't burn bridges that could otherwise be helpful.
  
  And, not to be "that guy" ... but there are a lot of good verses to pray over. Psalms 43:5, 55:22, 1 Peter 5:6-7. Some challenges are allowed to give us opportunities to lean on Him. Can't tell you how many times I've struggled with every fiber of my being... and when I finally give up, everything just falls into place. God's stronger than either of us. We need to stop trying to do it all ourselves.
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  20yearfader

  i was a born in that was put out of the house before the age of 18.you are 15 try to go along with your parents until the age of 18.

  Make sure you get a skill or well paying job soon that can support you until you make your break,you don't want them to force you out before you are ready,it will take you years to get it together and please don't be in a rush to leave because you like some girl or boy you've got plenty of time to explore your sexuality once you leave your parent's house.

  Until then play along with them,and remember you aren't the first one that had to endure the crazy jw religion for a short while.