How to wake up and reverse the trance??? (page 6)

The way you explain your experience is almost "Carbon Copy" to our situation.

The "20 years to open eyes" scares me a bit...............I'll likely be dead before he opens his eyes, if he does. What a waste of a good life.

Thanks KiddingMe

My mom is 78, though she is ill, I'm fortunate to still have her. I missed sharing many celebrations with her and my family. Although birthdays aren't as big a deal to me, I know they are to her. I hope she makes it to her next birthday, so that we can share it together.

I still haven't told her my revelations on being in this cult. Part of its because there is still a lack of trust in how she will react to the situation and I still need to help my children and possibly my husband wake up.

That's how twisted this religion is. Even though, I've been a member for 20 years, if I bring criticism of the organization up in the wrong way, I will be viewed as a threat. So I must handle things carefully until i can help my children see things for themself.

JDUBBED, it may not be easy but you have a lot in your favor. When I joined, there wasn't nearly as much support and information available on the Internet. The JW organization is very flawed, and are laying its own bed in some ways. They do not show unconditional love. Many experience burn out, they can not do enough without guilt being layed on them for not doing more. Use these as opportunities to support your boy.

Part of what led me to becoming a JW was the structure and discipline. Everyone seemed genuinely nice (many are). Some things that stood out to me as positives coming in are not what they seemed. The Catholics were dealing with the paedophilia issue when I converted. How could they allow this (I thought)? The JW's pointed this out frequently, even in their magazines. Now the JWs are undergoing the same issue. They no longer address this about Catholics in the magazines.

There's a lot about this religion your son may not even know. These are opportunities that over time you can use to your advantage to help enlighten your son, but it must be handled carefully. As he learns, it will be tough for him, it will be very risky for him to trust. The org teaches not to trust anyone not even yourself.

Use this site, JWfacts and others to learn as much about this religion as you can. The more you understand, the better you will be able to help your son. It's a lot of work but worth it.

Wishing you all the best.

J-DUBBED

What would happen if a J-Dub would get liquored out of their tree? Would things start to flash back? Often thought of that......Just innocently have some drinks and loosen up.

DesirousOfChange

KiddingMe: That's how twisted this religion is. Even though, I've been a member for 20 years, if I bring criticism of the organization up in the wrong way, I will be viewed as a threat. So I must handle things carefully until i can help my children see things for themself.

Kidding Me, read Steve Hassan's book, Combatting Cult Mind Control. I'm only about 1/2 way through it but it's awesome info on dealing with someone trapped by a cult.

Doc

J-DUBBED

Kidding Me, read Steve Hassan's book, Combatting Cult Mind Control. I'm only about 1/2 way through it but it's awesome info on dealing with someone trapped by a cult.

I don't have the books yet......Can't find any available up here in book stores. What's the INFO on dealing with the "Trapped". Is there suggestions to guide you through doing "Self Doctoring"? I did send an E-Mail to Steve Hassan to ask about the costs involved but I never heard anything yet.

KiddingMe

Desirous of Change- yes very awesome in dealing with someone trapped in the cult. I've read Combatting Cult Mind Control. I'm about half way through Steve Hassan's other book Freedom of Mind.

J-Dubbed, have you tried to purchase online. Amazon carries them. The one I'm reading now is the kindle version.

Another great book is Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz (former governing body member). It will help with understanding the religion. It is what helped opened my eyes to how the religion operates behind the scenes. It brings to light many of the things the average JW is not aware of.

J-DUBBED

It will help with understanding the religion. It is what helped opened my eyes to how the religion operates behind the scenes. It brings to light many of the things the average JW is not aware of.

Yes that's great but how do you get that across to the J-Dub that's in the trance??

GrreatTeacher

You'll likely have to order the books online as they are a specialty nook. Try Amazon.

I think that when folks here talk about asking simple questions they mean to just take your natural WTF response to a particular subject and phrase it innocently and politely.

For example, when birthdays come up. I know, it's ridiculous. But, you could ask them who they don't celebrate birthdays. You know the response. But, then ask, "So no birthdays or anniversaries or anything?"

Then he'll explain that anniversaries are okay. ( I know, WTF, right?)

So innocently ask, "But aren't birthdays just the anniversary of your birth?"

Then, drop it. He will go on to try to wiggle out of that one, but in his mind will be a little seed of doubt that maybe the birthday ban really doesn't make sense at all.

But, get this, he won't admit that to you. He will think he has given you a fine witness. But, you will know that you have given him something to think about, and it will likely happen subconsciously over time. You are planting seeds that there are logical inconsistencies in his faith. He will hold these inconcistencies in tension with his professed beliefs of his faith and it will eventually get very uncomfortable for him. This discomfort is called cognitive dissonance. When it gets uncomfortable enough from you subtly pointing out things that don't make sense, he may consider the possibility that his belief system is incorrect.

That's just a small primer on the basics. I hope it helps. In essence, you show little bits at a time, but the goal is that he will put the pieces together on his own over time.

The danger is that cognitive dissonance between what you profess to believe and what you know to be logical can also be resolved by digging deeper and more entrenched in your beliefs and ignoring facts, which in this case is you, when folks are pushed too hard. So, don't turn on the faucet full blast. Be the drip!

KiddingMe

Excellent explanation given by GrreatTeacher!

Steve Hassan's books will help with methods for getting points across to cult members. It helps with identifying the cult vs natural personality and how to ask questions without coming of the wrong way. It also encourages you to learn as much as you can about the religion/cult your loved one is involved in.

Raymond Franz's book will help you understand the religion and build your toolkit (for lack of a better word). This way, you have some background to base your questions/logic on. I wouldn't necessarily address these things directly with your son. This is for you to use and incorporate when trying to plant seeds of doubt; and help your son think for himself.

J-DUBBED

Some of you are becoming a great inspiration........

I will try to be "The Drip".....Hahaha.

How to wake up and reverse the trance???

The way you explain your experience is almost "Carbon Copy" to our situation.

The "20 years to open eyes" scares me a bit...............I'll likely be dead before he opens his eyes, if he does. What a waste of a good life.

Thanks KiddingMe

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