by cultBgone 65 Replies latest jw friends
Yes for me I did it all myself. I was prompted by the WT in 95 to research the parousia and worked out they had it wrong. After that I wnt on to study other topics using just the bibnle and WT publications.
I was out for a long time before I went to exJW websites or books.
I started my awakening process around mid 1980s. I was on a Judicial Committee that disfellowshipped one of our elder's for appostacy. Durring that time things came up that made me start to decline in my zeal for the organization and I heard a small voice in my head that said "if armegeddon don't come by the year 2000 then the WT would have me as an enemy". I quickly forgot about that forbidden thought till the year 2000 arrived, and started looking up things on the internet that eventually made me see it was just a mind control cult, it was in 2001 febuary that I came to the sad conclusion, of which there was no turning back. I was disfellowshipped in around june of that year for speaking against the Organization.
Awakened on my own due to stumbling on the IB. Boy was I shocked at first but then I later realized that it was just another religion that believes it's the one true religion.
We had years of the feeling that "something just isn't right." Watching all of the abuse, hypocrisy/contradictions, lack of love/caring (John 13:34: By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves) and watching the spiritual competition that goes on at the KH. We had a false sense of security..."our Brothers/sisters will help us when we need them." Then one day we needed them...they were not there. That was it for us. We got sick of hearing the excuse..."the organization if full of imperfect people." Really?
The conflict betwen Job and James 1:13 did it for me .I was mentally out from the bible leave alone the org.
Although I had doubts all along. Especially on FS.
In fact during my baptism I was completely terrified as to whether I was doing the right thing.
Once I read TTAT and CoC, that was it!
The members of the congregations I was in assisted me in waking up. Other things that reinforced my decision are: Counting time in field service Lack of love Lack of concern for elderly and others who could no longer do what they used to do Intolerance towards mental illness Cheating on field service time by pioneers, elders, etc. Shunning of disfellowshipped persons who were baptised as children or young teenagers A visit to Brooklyn Bethel There is more, but I think by now you get the idea. Teachings did not even come into it until after I had faded and began researching websites such as this. Also I had not read anything such as C of C at that stage. I had no idea of what was going on. My visit to Brooklyn Bethel did start doubts in my mind about the humility or lack of, of the GB. I saw the way a GB brother was not just respected as any brother should be respected by the tour guide, but he was revered and appeared, at least to me to expect it. Once my elderly parents died, I had no further family in the org, except my husband, who was not that regular, so I left. The last meeting either one of us attended was the memorial of 2013. Hubby still defends it but I have said that if he thinks it is so right, then become a part of it, get to meetings and go in FS. He admitted it was too much effort and he is too tired from work.
Thank you all for sharing your wonderful stories, please keep them coming. This is an amazing collection of experiences.
Oh yeah! I know this is not part of the question but you should have asked what has kept us out too.
What has kept me out is blue boxes with white letters saying JW.org plastered on most KH's. There is enough commercialism on TV and even on this page by paid advertisers, I don't need it at the KH as well. That used to be the one safe haven, I thought from this world.
I woke up on my own I guess.
I started to apply the critcal thinking analysis of the org in the same way that clever satirists analyse political groups or pop culture etc...
So, this made me "step outside of the witness circle" mentally and look back inside just as any member of the community would.
Then it JUST ALL FELL INTO PLACE!
Talk about "scales falling from my eyes"....
Then I found great sites like JWfacts and This awesome forum and read that SO MANY others went through the same experiences. "Yes!" I thought "I'm not the only one that sees this for what it is!"
Yes it was on my own accord. After my first wife and I separated I began visiting libraries and came across Ray Franz's "Crisis of Conscience". After reading it I knew it was all bullshit.
