I don't think anyone wakes up completely on their own, there's gotta be some information that is given to them for them to wake up. I credit jwfacts for my waking up.
Did you AWAKEN from the JWs by yourself?
by cultBgone 65 Replies latest jw friends
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torrent
I went through an issue with a judicial committee that got me and my wife publicily reproved. It was total BS. My dad was presiding overseer at the time and told me that they'll do the public reproof when they think a DF won't stand up to appeal. That incident ended my first marraige, which probably wasn't a bad thing since she had already had a couple affairs and I was just hanging on because of my daughter.
Three years later I met and married my current wife (about 20 years now) and my JW family got her hooked and she dragged me back in just trying to be part of the family. Six months later she gets babtized and the "lovey-dovey" treatment from the bros and sisters turns into the typical "always under scrutiny" and "don't mess up or you'll get DF'd". That lasted about two years when the elders took us in the back room to make an unfounded accusation which they couldn't identify their source. That meeting last 7 minutes. Before they could even pray about it, I told them their information was false, and if our accuser wouldn't face us, the discussion was over. My dad (who was an elder) told me later that I really upset them because people in the congregation never pushed back like that. One of those elders stepped down after that. My wife was more than ready to get out with me.
That's when I got on line, discovered this website and learned about Ray Franz' book "Crisis of Conceince". After reading about Ray's story, I knew I was done with the JW's and expanded my research. Now, when I read the bible without all the "blinders" and boundries, it's far more enjoyable and makes much more sense.
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flipper
Even though the WT injustices and ill treatment I received from the elders helped me to see there was no such thing as " holy spirit " guiding the elders- which initially made me exit - it wasn't until 2006 or 2007 3 or 4 years AFTER I exited and stopped attending that I began doing HEAVY research and it confirmed that my doubts had been true all those years since the late 1980's when I first started having disquieting private doubts. Because of always being told to read mostly just WT publications while I was a Witness- I think this prevented me from feeling free to research only AFTER I stopped attending meetings. Glad I'm out and have my freedom of mind indeed ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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kaik
What I had awaken me was study of the book, The Revelation, Grand Climax at the hand. My thought after this study was that WT just makes the stuff out. This was my awakening. Than I looked around and saw cold religion that cared little about anyone else. I walked away right after this 20 years ago. I think my mon knows its all BS but leaving cult at her age after decades, she worries to lose social ties that mean very much to her.
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LV101
Self-awakened - no internet sites at that time.
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erandir
baptized in 2000...stopped going to meetings around 2005ish...the NGO "scandal" was the tipping point for me. but mostly I got tired of the hypocrisy and bullying of one of our prominent elders. so it was mostly a self-awakening.
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Phizzy
I woke up to the falsehood of the 1914 teaching, and hence the whole House of Cards that is WT/JW teaching and claims for themselves fell down.
As a born-in I was unaware of any other major problem for sure, but as I quickly realised that I had been denied knowledge and facts, kept from the truth, by the cult, I determined to educate myself, and to examine all the JW doctrines.
Thank you JW Facts !!!
So it was after I had awakened myself to what my situation was, that I was in a false religion, that I began to learn the full extent of their lies and falsehoods.
It did amaze me though at the time, that within minutes of my realising that 1914 was pure hogwash, 58 years of my life was seen to be wasted in a religion that was the opposite of "the truth".
I sat there quite stunned, but once a Bell has been rung, you cannot un-ring it, there was no going back, only forward to the real life.
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Sail Away
My initial awakening was on my own, and was closely followed by getting a thorough education regarding TTATT. After decades of cognitive dissonance, I got to the point that I could not function, but I didn’t even know what cognitive dissonance was as yet! In mid-May 2011 I was at a service meeting. The part was about how important it was to do more in the ministry, because so many lives were involved. Well, that immediately, and I mean instantaneously, in my mind translated into a death sentence— Your children are going to die! I thought, “If one more person tells me my kids are going to die. . .” I just knew I could not hear those words one more time. I was later told that I had a shift in thought. That shift in thought dramatically changed my life for the better.
The pressure regarding my adult children had been mounting for years. My daughter walked away when she was 17 years old. An elder called to ask her to meet for a shepherding call, and she told me to tell him that she “respectfully declined”. She went off to college about six months later. My son was DF’d. He had gone through a nasty divorce from his JW wife and went off the deep end. At the time I agreed with his disfellowshipping based on his actions, but strongly felt that he should be receiving love and support rather than being kicked to the curb. It really bothered me that I was “allowed” to speak to my daughter freely (the elders said she would have to deal with her sins should she try to come back to Jehovah) and yet I wasn’t going to be able to speak to my son once he moved out of our home. My son and daughter had committed the same “sins”. One thing I knew to be certain, I was never going to shun my son.
I didn’t know what was going on yet, but I just couldn’t go to another meeting. I couldn’t pray either. It was like a light switch had been flipped off. My husband who left the organization 30 years before I did (but didn’t know TTATT) didn’t know what to think, but he didn’t question me. I just shut down, and he did all the grocery shopping, cooking and laundry for about six weeks. All of a sudden I wasn’t going to meetings after 42 years. I couldn’t even call in and listen. I needed time away from all the noise. I needed to rest, and I needed time to think and sort things through. I thought about all the doctrinal flip flops and serious personal issues caused by JW doctrine in my life and in the lives of people I had known for over four decades.
At the end of May we went away on vacation. We went sailing for 10 glorious days. For a few seconds I wondered how it might feel to live my life like that— no ‘studying the Bible’, no meetings, no field service, no schedule, not one single dress or pair of high heels—just living, breathing and enjoying the sun and wind on my face. I dismissed the thought. Not there yet.
June was a blur. Still no meetings, but I did travel a bit with a long-time JW sister and friend. (She is the only JW who still talks to me over three years later.) I seemed to be able to function as long as I was not home. If I was home I was on the couch with my dog Emma (see Your Favorite Dog Breed thread) and my cat Rocky. Somewhere along the way I switched into what I call observation mode, professionals call it dissociation. For the first time in over 30 years this sister really got on my nerves— her lips were spewing words about Jehovah and the New System, but I mostly focused on her bright red lipstick. Her life, by her own admission, is an absolute mess. And yet she does absolutely nothing, no changes, no decisions— she just leaves it in Jehovah’s hands. Her marital situation was one of my causes for concern. She is married to a DF’d bi-sexual man, but was not allowed to divorce him under the old definition of porneia. She was later told after a second offense that she then had scriptural grounds for divorce, but she felt it was too late for her to leave him. They are financially dependent on each other at this late stage in life.
I had promised my deceased DIL’s inactive mother that I would take her to the District Convention on the July 4 th weekend. I didn’t take notes for the first time ever. I don’t know why. I just didn’t. Observation mode— Why am I sitting here with this woman? I know she didn’t do anything to me, but why am I forced to be reminded of so much pain? . . . These Stepford JWs are just plain scary . . . “Overlapping generation”— “That’s Crap!” Just how many times are they going to tell me to be in my seat before the music starts, pay attention and take notes? . . . Listen. Learn. Obey.”
After the District Convention, still no meetings. I had volunteered to serve the C.O.’s lunch in mid-August well before the mid-May shift in thought. I was still in the “Let your yes mean yes” mode, and felt I could make myself go to the meetings, go out in service one morning and serve the lunch. I did serve the lunch, but that was all.
On the Monday following his visit, I got on the Internet and found this forum and the YUKU ex-JW forum. I started to do research on JW history, doctrine and cults. I read about the two-witness rule and pedophile issues in the organization and found Silent Lambs. I read JWFacts.org, Crisis of Conscience, Shepard the Flock of God and The God Delusion, by Richard Dawkins all in about two weeks’ time.
I typed my first post on exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com entitled, “Help! I’m being stalked!” with shaking hands. I was stalked by local JWs nearly every day for five months straight, but there was no going back. I am no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I choose not to write a letter of disassociation, and I will certainly not attend any Judicial Committee meetings. I informed my elder hit squad (two elders who seemed to have been assigned to my defection) that I had an out-patient hospitalization in 2011, and I am still dealing with severe clinical depression, PTSD and caring for my mom who now has late-stage Lewy Body Dementia. I told him I just knew that my next hospitalization would be in-patient, and I don’t want to go there. I have not heard a word since playing the mental health card.
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lrkr
My wife was mentally out but I was an elder and the congregation secretary. 3 things pushed me over the edge: 1- counting up all the publishers time seemed like an excessive waste of time and tracking of something that was not very meaningful. 2- I had trouble seeing myself as the guy going around telling everyone that the world was going to end. There were too many logical questions abut the Armageddon and new system teachings. 3- you guys, open minds.com and COC lifted the vail.
So yes. I had help.
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phats
I held on for years thinking that in some way it was still the truth & the guys in charge were good honest people & it was just imperfect men that needed to be constantly forgiven & excuses made for there errors & personalities.
It was'nt until I was forced to see the total lack of love & honest care even to the point of there being no provision for genuine love that I finally started to see it for what I now believe it to be.....Totally man made with mans agendas & purposes.
After that it was a slippary slope to freedom.
Phats.