The JW Family (page 3)

dubstepped

Loved your post too confuzzled. Witness "residue" sounds dirty, lol. It is so true though. Look around here at all of the people still talking dub. It sticks with you one way or another. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. If people were apathetic they wouldn't be here, so they care on some level, even if it's just hate. Many want to save loved ones. You can take the person out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the person. Certain experiences just become part of you in a way that others don't.

Sorry you're stuck too in that way.

confuzzlediam

Dubstepped...I giggled out loud when I read your comment about "residue" sounding dirty!! LOL Guess it kind of does! But maybe in a way we have been "dirtied" by being a witness. A certain amount of grime that doesn't come off no matter how we try to get rid of it. It is SO easy to be filled with hatred when it comes to many of our experiences in the org. I know this first hand. While I haven't completely forgotten how I was treated by the elders when I was wrongfully disfellowshipped, I try really hard to understand that they were only doing what they had been taught to do. Doesn't make them bad people in general, just ones that are caught up in the glory of their positions and feeling like they could read my heart. All in all, it really was a blessing in disguise. If I had not been df'd, I probably would still be a witness, I would not have gone back to school after divorcing my husband and my kids would still be in. So, maybe I should be thanking those elders for setting me and my family free from the cult that has such a strong hold on its followers. It's ok...I'd rather be stuck outside the cult, than inside!!

jhine

Dubstepped , thank you for sharing your thoughts . I suppose because I tend to to think in black and white I see things as right or wrong . I understand what you are saying ,it wouldn't work for me , but then life would be boring if we were all the same . Also we wouldn't have anything to discuss on here !

Jan

dubstepped

Hi Jan, thanks for the nice words. I agree, and I once was a very black and white thinker. I delved into lots of books on perfectionism, and I try to escape the right and wrong issues more as time goes by and find that I'm happier. I feel you on it though, even as I'm much more into gray than black and white. Different strokes for different folks, as they say.

dubstepped

Ha, this post just popped up for me on the side so I thought I'd bump it 3 months after I wrote it. I was wrong. This "family" that I talked about is completely toxic and screwed. Get out! Run! They are a cult and they're literally stuck in a tiny box of beliefs and it CANNOT be repaired. Repairing it would mean that both sides would have to meet in the middle, and JW's are completely inflexible. That was my ever hopeful spirit, my deep desire talking, thinking that somehow it could be fixed. Here I am 3 months later and still waiting on these morons to get their act together enough to let me DA (hopefully they've been able to find my letter by now that I sent them). You cannot find a happy medium. It is truly all or nothing, black or white, and I was naive enough to think that somehow I would be able to find that shade of gray where we could live and let live, allowing each other to be who we are individually while still maintaining contact. Nope. As soon as you have the smell of a doubter you're marked a traitor, a filthy apostate that is like poison to them. They will push you away with the quickness.

So, I was wrong. I wrote something beautiful that reflected something beautiful that I hoped could happen because I was an eternal optimist, but all I saw in my own example and in that of others on here and in so many other places was ugly over the past months. JW's are ugly. They put on a facade of love and peace and unity while just under the surface lies judgement and divisiveness and control. There is no real love there. Thus, there's no reason to keep trying. It can be their way or no way at all. You are just a pawn in their game, nothing more. I can't wait to get my official release papers from them confirming my DA. I hate to leave my family behind, but their shallow love based on control isn't something I want to keep around. Like they always said in illustrations, would you drink a cup of water if it had just a little toxic poison in it? Of course not! So, I cast this cup away from me. It was toxic and it just made me toxic while I continued to drink from it.

millie210

Well Dub, you were probably not wrong - just sharing your current perspective at that time.

Isnt it interesting to read back and see how our thoughts change as our knowledge about the inner workings of the Org grows?

I felt exactly like you did in your OP at one point. Then I got a big shock when the compilation of devious actions by the Org was revealed to me through research here.

So now I am working on keeping my balance. Trying not to be too outspoken with my JW friends that remain, trying to see where the real blame lies (its a trickle down) and trying to forge ahead in a positive frame of mind.

It can be exhausting and a little lonely I am finding.

dubstepped

Ultimately it ends up real lonely from what I've seen here. The shunning is inevitable. I hate that it is that way but you just can't create openness in a closed minded group. If it helps any, I always like your posts Millie. I have enjoyed reading them and like your perspective. It's a shame that people like my wife and I, like you, and so many others end up getting trampled on and the beautiful optimism ends up crushed in the end with these people. There is a beautiful freedom on the other side that we're finding as we make new friends and reconnect with long lost family.

nonjwspouse

Dub,

One thing I keep in mind is that regardless of toxicity, there MUST be positive or at least apparently good things associated with a group, or organization, or religion in order to attract people. The toxic far outweighs the good, as you know, and is ultimately highly damaging and dangerous, but if there was no good, no one would ever be attracted to it, or believe in it.

Some toxic people are like this as well. They can be attractive, with magnetic personalities, generous, etc.... but ultimately highly toxic, damaging and dangerous.

It is the information about the toxic nature that absolutely MUST be made public somehow. The key is stopping the conversion before they ever begin. Only then will the organization crumble, and hopefully some indoctrinated people can begin to see reality of the borg and accept it. ( Some just never will)

The borg is not, and from my perspective, will never be OK. The core of the borg beliefs are way too toxic to ever be ok. It is dangerous.

LostGeneration

I think the root of it all is that they just want everyone to remain a child. No thinking for yourself, do as we say, not as we do. No growing up into a person that can fully function on their own.

Some people in life just like it this way, they don't want to make the hard decisions. They want to be told what to do with a big part of their life, it just makes it easier for them rather than having to go out there and find it on their own.

Frustrating as fuck for the rest of us however.

The JW Family

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