At the turn of the century (possibly1905) a paper was proudly circulating among the associates of the WTBTS whereby one signed an oath promising one would not be in a room alone with a member of the opposite sex unless the door was left wide open. Signing the oath became a sign of "spirituality" and it was common to be asked "did you sign the oath ".
JW marriages
by Realist 40 Replies latest jw friends
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happy man
what are you talking about peopel
I think you are very pahtetic if you take upp this issu, compared too the so called word, in our con on 75 year 1 divorce,crim none,other probems none.
I must say that in this case you are far out.
myself was growing upp inn the truth, married at 28.
widh a very nice girl who give mee 5 children.here inn sweden we have a reckord inn divorcing, i think over 60 %.
Jw i dont now, perhaps 5 %.
but if you only look for negative thing ofcourse you find them, why arent you looking foor bad things inn the word, dissaster is the result isnt it.
So littel more balance, you are not belivebal in this always looking for negative things,,never see the good things, unjust i think.
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DakotaRed
Since so many JW kids rush into marriage right out of high school, I feel they have a much better chance of failing. JW kids miss out on social gatherings and dating like other teens. It's not just missing out on sexual exploration that does them in, but missing out on all normal social events as well. They have the drive like other kids, but it is severely repressed and when they rush into the marriage, seeking what they missed out on, they fail to see what each other is really like. Add to that the pressures from the Kingdumb Halls to conform to Watchtower standards and still being told what to and what not to do and you have failure staring you right in the face.
What the Watchtower and the parents should be teaching these poor kids is to get out in the world a little since they live in it. Let yourselves grow up before you get serious and decide to settle down. Tihnk about it, how can you "settle down" when you have never been anywhere or done anything but Watchtower BS?
So much repression it saddens me to see ones so young jump into a marriage and then start having kids of their own right away.
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happy man
good point dakota.
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Max Divergent
I married at 22 as a virgin JW. Even though I love my wife (who left at the same time as me, thank god) and wouldn't betray her, now at 33 I wonder what it'd be like to be with another woman. Somtimes I want to find out. I wonder if there's good reason behind the traditional thing of guys 'spreading the wild oats' before settling down?
Max
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Sentinel
Soledad,
I suppose marriage is really difficult no matter who you are and what your religion might be. If both partners start out as JW's, they are in "JW Marital Heaven"....for awhile. Then reality sets it, and the high expectations of one trying to make certain the other doesn't "fall", is just not a comfortable place. And, also, there is the ever-present male dominence of the JW husband over his wife, dictated by the org.
I've seen it happen more than once, where the immaturity, and no experience in the intimacy area, couples have had problems and major difficulties later on.
Of course, if two people are marrying just basically to satisfy the "need", it will probably fail, or change into some other type of arrangement altogether, especially if children come into the picture.. There has to be a much stronger basis for the marriage. The problem one has, is that you find yourself stuck in a loveless marriage, with absolutely no viable means of escape if you want to remain in good standing as a JW.
Other marriages between JW's, where prior to the marriage, one of the partners has had some experience, been df'd and come back. Sometimes, the need to cling to someone "inside the org" is their safety net for survival, within the marriage. I've seen marriages like this survive longer than, say two chaste individuals tying the knot.
Sooner or later, the sex is going to take second place to making a living and having kids, and trying to maintain that untarnished image. It's most difficult when you have tired of "one position", but find the society has also "gotten into your bedroom", and can determine which sex is acceptable to God and which isn't.
Personally, I prefer to be married. Maturity has a lot to do with our ability to be able to make a success out of it. Maturity not in age, but simply in the experience of living life. And, let's face it, you aren't really living your life unless you are out of the borg. I had tremendous problems in my first marriage because of the WT control over intimacy. I lived with tremendous guilt most of the time, and that upset my husband, the non-believer. It caused a severe chasm in our relationship. We were together for fourteen years, and it was a constant struggle. (Of course there were other problems.)
On the other hand, I saw other marriages in the congr. that started out "picture perfect", only to fall apart later. Usually, one of the partners HAD to do something in the sin department, in order to be df'd, so they or their partner could be released from the bond of marriage. That is so sad. I believe many of those marriages could have been saved. But, remember, outside counseling labeled you. There just wasn't much one could do if they found themselves "mated forever" with someone they just couldn't live with. The marriages that survived "in name only", survived at great personal cost.
No, I don't see a JW marriage as the perfect little everlasting nest of pleasure and satisfaction. So many of them put on an act. What a way to live...
"The Truth Is Out There"
Karen/Sentinel
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Max Divergent
An older Sis told my wife that her daughter phoned her on her wedding night - they were having trouble figuring out what to do!!!!!!! I kinda presume that daughter & son-in-law were taking the piss out of the old lady, but she really beleived it!!! ;-) We cacked ourselves laughing!
Max - who bloody well hopes they could figure out what to do.....
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Realist
how does the WT tell the people which sex positions etc. are allowed? is that stated in the WT journals and read at the meetings? that would be too funny!
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joeshmoe
figure out how to do what?
ok, so i'm only posting to display my newfound mastery of the emoticons...
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joeshmoe
you bet they tell you what you can do in bed.. and let me tell ya, JESUS HATES BLOWJOBS!