YES!!!!!! Shunning has backfired!!

by Dawn 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dawn

  I was DF'd a number of years ago. My parents never shunned me - they didn't feel that DF'ing broke the family ties. But when my brothers or uncle were in town I was "allowed" to come visit at certain times when their other JW friends would not be around. So - whatever - I played along so that I could still see my brothers & uncle occasionally.

  But what really aggrivates me is that they will have these big BBQ's or parties when family comes into town, invite all their JW friends.......AND MY SON AND HUSBAND (never a JW) - but I'm not invitied. I have felt for years like they were reaching right into my house and manipulating my own family into their little "shunning game". I decided to take the high road all these years, let my son go. I explained to him that I was a Christian and as such, I would show them respect by honoring their request not to attend, but that he could because they're getting older and every visit could be the last and I didn't want him to miss out.

  My Uncle came into town again last week. This time, my mom invites her JW friends from out of town also to stay for the week, which means, of course that I can't see my Uncle - and of course she calls and asks my son to come over & visit my uncle & their friends. He's 16 now, old enough to make the decision himself. He said NO!! if MOM wasn't welcome, then HE wasn't welcome and he refused to go. She tried 3 or 4 different times to get him to come over - he wouldn't go. Instead, we had our own BBQ/Party yesterday with my husband's family and our kids - it was a blast!!

  I feel bad for my mom because I know it hurt her feelings - my son means a lot to her. But the truth is, they've been using malipulative tactics all along to get their way, while I have been honest and taken their punches to try and make things easeir for my son.

  Anyways - I just had to share this because for the first time since I left the JW's -

  I CAME OUT ON TOP!!!!

  And I didn't have to be the bad guy - YES!!! It felt SO GOOD!!!!!

  YOU DON'T GET TO MANIPULATE MY FAMILY ANY MORE - THEY HAVE SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU!!!
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  Double Edge

  Good for you and hurray for your brilliant son! I guess the "shunners" have now become the "shunees" and apparently it hurts....awwwwwwwww.
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  Prisca

  Wow!

  ((((dawn)))) glad that your son has seen through their rediculous actions and has stood up for himself (and you!)

  Maybe this will help your mum to realise how much she is missing by shunning you. I find it hard to imagine how a mother could shun her own daughter.

  I hope she will wake up to herself before it is too late.
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  Simon

  well done ... and well done your son!

  Kid's are not stupid - they see what is happening and can make their own minds up (often better than us old fogeys)
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  DakotaRed

  Actually, Dawn, you were on top all the time. It was they who sunk to the low depths. You suffered the pain and now, your son has seen through the manipulations and made his own choice. Good for him. He sounds like a good level headed boy who obviously has had some real good parenting.
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  Francois

  As Gandhi and other spiritual geniuses have said, taking the spiritual road always wins out in the end. Congratulations. You've proved a point that the GB could well apply.

  If I could find a way to sue the bastards for what they did to my family relations with their shunning policy, I would file suit tomorrow.

  Some day some one will find a way, just like they did with the tobacco companies. And I will be on the front row every day of the trial, cheering on the plantiff.

  Watch out GB! One day they're going to be coming to take you away - HaHa.

  Francois
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  Lady Lee

  WhoHoooo give a huge hug - both of you really deserve it
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  dobby

  Awesome! Sounds like your son has grown up to have a mind of his own and a good understanding of the meaning of real love and loyalty.
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  Dawn

  Thanks so much guys!! It is so great to have a forum like this where we can share our stories with people who really understand. I am so very proud of my son!!
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  garybuss

  DE wrote: <But what really aggrivates me is that they will have these big BBQ's or parties when family comes into town, invite all their JW friends.......AND MY SON AND HUSBAND (never a JW) - but I'm not invitied. >

  If my relatives or anybody invited me to anything and informed me my wife was not welcome I would tell them to go screw themselves. Then I would start to shun them. This kind of crap pisses me off.

  Sorry you have had to go through that kind of treatment. You do not say if your husbamd joined your relatives in shunning you. Hope he did not.

  Glad your son is showing some human decency. Sounds like a nice kid.

  gb