I don't think a Mom can hide that hurt from her son any more then her son could stand to see her hurt, no matter how hard they try. Looks like your boy is becoming a man, who's love and loyalty isn't dictated by a magazine periodical. I can tell you are proud of him and you should be it, couldn't have been essay for him to make that choice.
YES!!!!!! Shunning has backfired!!
by Dawn 28 Replies latest jw friends
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curlers
Isn't shunning the craziest thing? I was df'd 20 yrs ago. I married the first time a non-JW who was accepted by my family. Later, I had a baby as a single mom. My child was accepted by my family. I remarried and had another child and now my husband and both kids are accepted by my family. So, I ask my family, you're suppose to be J Christian Ws and Christians are suppose to be loving. Yet, you shun me and let me have it every chance you get. Don't you think that my husband, kids or any non-JW relatives we have that see this are going to say, WOW, I'd really like to be a JW. Honestly, my husband, our non-JW relatives and even my 7yo kid think you're nuts. The saying goes you catch more bees with honey than vingear. My mom gets out the Bible and shows that one scripture that proves you're suppose to shun. But I do have one brother that agrees shunning is kind of archaic torture. My 7yo will not go visit my parents. She's already shunned them. I know it hurts my mom but she has the WTS to comfort her. Its so stupid. I, too, would like to see the day that the WTS is made to reckon with all the psychological and emotional damage they're done through shunning.
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Angharad
Hi ((((((Dawn)))))
That is great for you, sounds like a smart kid .
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NeonMadman
I know it hurts my mom but she has the WTS to comfort her. Its so stupid. I, too, would like to see the day that the WTS is made to reckon with all the psychological and emotional damage they're done through shunning.
If we could only come up with a way to get everyone else in the world who is not a JW to shun them! That's a fantasy, I realize, but wouldn't it be fun?
Of course, if you did to them what they do to others, you'd be "persecuting" them and violating their rights...
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JAVA
Your son sounds like a great kid, Dawn--that says a lot about both of you! Good post; thanks for sharing it.
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Tinkerbell4125
Dawn, thank-you for sharing your story! You've got a terrific kid!!!
How your story hit home in so many ways! My parents had a anniversary party once. I heard about it *afterwards*. At the time, it hurt and I'm sure I was depressed about it, but now, it's a different story for me, I will always continue to love my family, that will never change, for me, they are my family and I can't help but feel that way towards them, but......
I realize now, that I can love them, but I can love them from afar. Not to sound too geeky, I read a book on Toxic people. It was basically about having positive people in your life, staying busy with people you love and love you back in a healthy way, it doesn't have to be blood-relative to be as family.
Now that my parents are dead, I find myself in new phase of life. I have a few siblins that I find that I am bonding with and feel that it will be that way till I'm old. The other siblins, I will hear about through the grapevine, but that will be okay too. The dust has settled on many things over the years and things are actually looking good for me. I'm going to hold on to that very tight. I do miss some of my siblins, but j.w. or not, if they aren't totally real with me, and it's not a healthy, then I'm not wasting my time. The extra free time that I do have, will be spent with people that love and except me for who I am and nothing less, nothing more.
Life is good!
Dawn, tell your son that your buddies here on the board think he's a pretty special kid!
Tink =;o)
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blacksheep
Wow Dawn, you put up with a lot all these years. Indeed it did pay off. You must be very proud of your son! He sounds like he's got a lot of character. And is learning a lot of lessons early in life about how people can be cruel and manipulative.
Your post touched me because I'm wrestling with similar manipulative tactics from my family. I'm vacillating between working with them to allow my son and his (almost born) sister to see his grandparents/and other JW family members, and just saying to hell with the whole charade. They keep coming into town making it clear that they are attending this graduation function (for one of my neices/nephews) or that wedding, etc., to which of course, I'M not invited (nor is the rest of my family). But they want to stop by at THEIR convenience to see their grandchild. They go out of their way to make it clear that we just happen to "fit in" to whatever JW social event, meeting, or class they have going. Lately we just haven't been *available* because the whole undercurrent of shunning is getting to me. It's like my mom is trying to really drive home that she and my witness relatives have such busy social calendars, and they'll simply try to fit us "misfits" in. Are they manipulating? Or should I just give them the benefit of the doubt. Poeole who haven't been in the JW snare generally find it hard to believe they'd do this stuff: those of us who HAVE been and are on the receiving end of "shunning" tactics know better, I think.
Not sure what I'll end up doing, but reading stories like yours just further OUTRAGES me at their manipulative behavior and makes me more determined to NOT let them continue, at least with me and my family. I'm truly apalled at what some people have endured at the hands of this religion.
Anyway, you're reaping the benefits for raising a loving, intelligent, wise kid in the midst of almost inhumane behavior. Congratulations!
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TheStar
Hooray!!! I'm glad to hear a story in which the good guys come out on top!!
You brought tears of joy to my eyes Dawn.... You've done a wonderful job raising your son, you should be very proud of him and yourself. All the years of sacrifice and hurt have turned into a victory for you, YOU GO GIRL!! We could all learn a lesson from you Dawn.
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Dawn
Wow - you guys are too kind! Thanks so much!!
It is so sad to see all the hurt and ruined relationships that this shunning has created. I find it has been a great help to me to post my stories here - the bad & the good, because you guys really get the whole picture. I can tell these to my friends who have never been JW but they don't really understand - no one does who hasn't lived it. So thanks for letting me blab