Star,
I felt really good when I read your response..wow. Thank you.
Thanks to everyone, it really means a lot to me and if I cant touch you with my hands and give you a big warm hug I'm so glad to be able to touch someone with words.
I hope everyone contemplating leaving but not wanting to face the challenge of such a life altering decision will trust me that it isnt as hard as it seems and it does get better.
:X and hugs to all.
flower