Male and Female Friends

by StinkyPantz 42 Replies latest social relationships

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  beckyboop

  I'm a 34 yr. old female, with a boyfriend of 1 1/2 years. I was married for 8yrs., but that's another story... I think that it's VERY HEALTHY to have friends of both genders. We get a unique perspective to our partner when we can have honest friendships with those of the opposite sex. I do think there are many men out there who WOULD have sex with their friends if possible; however, hopefully that's not the majority.

  I have many male friends, some of whom I'm very close to. The difference is I'm honest with my boyfriend about my friendships--I tell him when I've talked to them and what we talked about. He doesn't feel left out, and I'm not doing it behind his back. They provide a viewpoint that is invaluable in my dealings with my boyfriend. And he has friendships with women too--two of his best friends are female. He has been close friends with them for about 3 years or so.

  I do agree that you have to be relatively mature in order to have a relationship with the opposite sex that is nonsexual. And from what I've observed over the years, when sex (or fooling around) does happen between friends, there is a lot more to the story! Someone is feeling lonely, neglected etc. It certainly doesn't excuse the actions, but NO ONE PERSON can usually be blamed for a problem. If you have a strong sexual feeling for someone else other than your partner, maybe that's an indication to something that's missing. And yes, I have been in those shoes myself, but that's another story too....

  Great topic--thanks for the opportunity to add my 3 cents worth.

  Becky
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  Skeptic

  StinkyPantz,I pity your husband. I have had plenty of lady friends as just friends. Wonderful friendships.

  If your husband is worried about possible unfaithfulness issues, either he is brainwashed with the JW nonsense about male/female relationships, or he secretly wants to sleep with a lot of women. I am very serious. My ex was the jealous type, and always accused me of wanting to sleep with all of my lady friends. Finally, she told me she wanted to take a lover.

  Xena,

  I can't be friends with men, well I don't know how to be. lol I just seem to screw things up.....

  That's cause you are so damn sexy, baby! Come visit me and "screw up" with me.

  Xena, why havent you emailed me or answered my emails? There is so much I want to talk to you about, find out how you are doing, and also, I worry about you. Email me and tell me you are OK...pleazzzzzzzze. Email me at [email protected]

  Oh I am a kinda seperated woman.

  
  Change the gender, and I can say, "Me too." The kinda part is the hard part to take, much harder than definitely being either way.

  Richard

  Edited by - Skeptic on 5 July 2002 13:32:16

  Edited by - Skeptic on 5 July 2002 13:34:24

  Edited by - Skeptic on 5 July 2002 13:37:3

  Edited by - Skeptic on 5 July 2002 16:55:9
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  jack2

  My wife and I discuss this topic often. When younger, she basically grew up with the neighborhood guys and was a bit of a tom-boy. She has lunch with a male counter-part at work and I have never had a problem with that at all.

  I have female friends, including online friends. I have lunch with a group of females from work, and at times a guy or two is included. At times, I have had lunch alone with females from work. My wife has had no problem with that. I always make sure that she is informed.

  I have found that my friendships with guys are great for talking sports and stuff like that, but when it comes down to getting a little deeper and discussing other issues, I always prefer women. In fact, if God were a woman, or at least portrayed as somehat womanly, I'd be a lot more inclined to discuss my feelings with the Almighty.
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  Incense_and_Peppermints

  *** they all want to see you naked.
• 

  Beans

  I think men and women can be friends but as for me I generally want to get in all the ladies pants!

  Beans
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  Jim_TX

  Yes, it is possible.

  I have a few very good friends that are female. One that let me stay overnight in a guest bedroom - no hint of sex - no desire to, either.

  Oh - and she is a nice looking gal, too. Just no attraction - beyond friends.

  It is cool, really - to be friends with someone like that. You are able to talk freely, and not have to worry about all of the male/female hangups that seem to aflict some relationships.

  Of course - when I was married - I was not allowed to have friends - male OR female (but especially female), but it was ok for the ex-wifey to have friends - both sexes.

  I cannot explain the reasons why... I never quite understood them myself.

  I personally make friends with gals easier than with guys - but it is, I feel - due to my upbringing... or lack of it. <shrug>

  Oh well... just my .02 worth.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
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  DakotaRed

  I think your hubby is a bit off base. While some men may tend to want to bed every woman they meet, not all do. I have some women friends and co workers, some very attractive too, and taking them to bed doesn't even enter into my mind. Maybe because ther husbands are bigger than me? Seriously, though, not all men are shallow enough to desire a trip to the bedroom with every woman they are friendly with.

  Lew W
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  Xena

  You know Richard you really should empty your email box every now and then lol I tried to send you an email but your box was full

  Woe is me............................................
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  Skeptic

  Xena, oops...I sent you an email with my private email address that never gets full. Please write me. Check the email address you use for this site.

  Richard
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  joannadandy

  I'm female, and I think the whole idea that men and women can't be friends is a bunch of crap. Anyone who says it is impossible has either never had a relationship like this or is unable to have a relationship like this. My very best friends in the whole wide world happen to be men. My friend Jon is a prime example, we have been best friends since 7th grade. I tell that kid everything, we have never dated, (tho in 7th grade we did kiss once-hee hee) and in fact he is going to be married next spring. We do lots of things by ourselves. He is like a big brother type to me, and he is very protective of me in a sister kind of way. I am quite sure there is NO sexual tension going on here. I appreciate having him and other guys as friends to have a male perspective on things, not to mention the countless times I saved their asses with their girlfriends by giving them a female perspective. I think it's unhealthy not to have plutonic relationships...