A Newbie Introduction

by patricia 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  QUANTUM

  Patricia:

  What do you hope to find here, Reasurance? Most of the people who visit these boards have the same kind of problems and difficulties you have experienced. By coming here have they become wiser or redeemed from that big bad monster...Not Likely!

  You've been "peeking" in for six months and ne're said a word? You've got problems this kind of ningling can never help. What you need is professional help. Most of these people will never recover from the kind of mind control the WTS proliferates. Most will never be totally sure they made the right decision to leave. Whether DF or left on their own doesn't matter. The brainwashing goes deep and the scars never go away.

  Is this beginning to sound like a bad dream? It's certainly more than a dream....It's a down to earth NIGHTMARE. One which you'll probably never quite wake up from.

  You don't pray anymore......Why? Because you don't know what to call GOD. That alone should give you a clue that you're in big trouble and that the purveyers of evil...WTS are still controling your mind.

  Do you think GOD hates you? Is GOD only known by one name? If I were a GOD I would make certain that I had an infinite number of names so that if any one of my children wanted to call on me I would be there for them.

  GOD does have an infinite number of names and they all begin with LOVE in an infinite number of languges we know nothing about.

  The word GOD is as close as we can come to the word LOVE....If there were no greater thing that could be said of GOD than LOVE then that is HIS name.....Getting the picture?

  GOd may indeed have a church which HE established here on earth to get HIS message across but if it doesn't hold the same expectation for everyone who has ever lived and if GOD doesn't give every opportunity to come to him without judgement or scorn then that church is not HIS.

  First find and experience GODS pure love by prayer....then go looking for HIS reprsentatives!

  QUANTUM
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  myself

  Patricia,

  Welcome. I am glad you took the time to tell us about yourself. Yes, there are many of us with similar experiences and many more who are still lurking and have yet to speak up. You at one time felt the power of prayer and the peace it has brought to you. You will find that again. I don't feel that your prayers were answerd because you were a JW. They were answered because you had faith in God. You still do because of the fact that you are worried about opening up the avenue of prayer again. Keep trying. The most important part of any relationship is communication.
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  BugParadise

  Thanks everyone. I really like to read so will take your advice. As far as the prayer aspect is concerned, I seem to have a blockage that I think is caused by guilt (as ridiculous as it seems) because of my confusion. Its had to disconnect "Jehovah" with the organization but I know that personally I need that connection with my heavenly father, so I am going to try and open up that avenue again.

  Hang in there Patricia! {{{{Hugs}}}}}

  <great name btw ..hehe>

  A friend sent me this and I will share it with you :)

  Sometimes Life seems hard to bear,Full of sorrow, trouble and woeIt's then I have to remember That's in the valleys I grow.If I always stayed on the mountain topand never experienced pain,I would never appreciate God's loveand would be living in vain.I have so much to learnand my growth is very slowSometimes I need the mountain topsBut it's in the valleys I grow.I do not always understand why things happen as they do,But I am very sure of one thingMy Lord will see me through.Forgive me Lord, for complainingWhen I 'm feeling very lowJust give me a gentle reminderthat it's in the valleys I grow.Continue to strengthen me, Lordand use my life each dayto share your love with othersand help them find their wayThank you for valleys, LordFor this one thing I knowThe mountain tops are gloriousBut it's in the valleys I grow !

  ~Author Unknown

  ~Bugs
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  DINKY

  Hi Patricia,

  I also developed a relationship with Jehovah when I became a JW. I was so afraid that when I left the borg, I would lose my relationship with Jehovah too. But that didn't happen. I still have a really close, in fact even closer, relationship with him now. I think religion was meant to introduce me to my higher power. But now I've "graduated" to the next phase of our relationship.

  Enjoyed your post!

  Dinky
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  Prisca

  Hello and welcome to our humble home
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  Simon

  Welcome to the forum Patricia - hope you enjoy your stay here and thanks for the introduction. I'm sure you'll get plentry of help and advice of some very nice people.
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  SpiceItUp

  ((Patricia))

  Welcome aboard....

  You don't need to pray if its not right for you at the moment..all you really need to do is have faith in yourself and that these feelings of loss and of being lost will end. You are on your way and I wish you much love and hope for yourself, in yourself and within yourself.

  Peace to you and knowledge in your journey....

  Spice
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  SPAZnik

  welcome patricia

  you said

  I am at a very uncomfortable place in my life

  in my experience, discomfort is actually a good thing. it's a catalyst for change . you go girl.
  
  
  i too felt very close to the God called Jehovah for most of my life.
  but i think it was based too much on other peoples definitions of spirituality which were in one way or another forced down my throat and drilled into my head...so i ran out of steam.
  and i left.
  leaving changed some things, but mostly for the better.
  the first thing i discovered wuz that it wasn't the end of the world.
  the next thing i had to do wuz learn to luv myself. as corny as that sounds, it wuz true.
  in time i've been learning even to luv life. what a novel experience that has been for me.
  
  as for prayer...
  sometimes i talk to gawd.
  its rare, but sometimes i do it.
  and when i do...
  it's from the heart
  and honest as always
  only now
  with new appreciation, awe even
  for my own life
  for every moment.
  i wouldn't change that for anything.

  ps - skirtz in winter service alwayz did piss me off. i'm wit u on dat!!
  between work, service and meetings i virtually lived in a skirt....
  since leaving, i'm happy to report that i have only worn one like twice. oh the apostasy. heehee
  
  pps - mac...that wuz a really nice post btw.
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  Mackin

  Welcome to the board Patricia. I look forward to reading your posts.
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  Sirona

  Hi Patricia

  Welcome to the board.

  I went through some very similar feelings for a little while. "Is Jehovah listening?" "am I worthy to pray?" The only way I found that helped was to investigate all faiths with my new eyes outside of the organisation. What I saw what lots of beauty. The people of other faiths have lots of love in their hearts for God and their fellow man. Yes, there are problems with any religious group, but looking at the fundamentals I began to realise that there is so much love that I could not imagine God rejecting these people. They were not calling him Jehovah, but they were being faithful, and praying and preaching.

  This realisation helped me to feel that as long as I was living the best life I could, God would listen to me.

  My studies of other faiths opened up a lot of questions for me and I ended up changing my entire belief structure. Nevertheless, I think that when I pray, I am heard.

  I hope it helps to hear how I dealt with it.

  Sirona