Nekked women (page 2)

FlyingHigh

My wife gets pissed even if she thinks she catches me looking at another woman.

Elsewhere

I came here expecting to get an eyefull... so far NOTHING.

Prisca

LOL @ Elsewhere - I think quite a few guys might have clicked on this thread expecting the same!

I have a question for the guys:

Do guys have a problem with women looking at porno - porno that is designed for women?

Porno that features huge penises, and beautiful perfect male bodies???

Would it upset you if your girlfriend/wife liked looking at it?

wasasister

The very women I would hope to respond to my query are too insecure enough to respond in the first place.

I dunno, Teejay. Let's not jump to conclusions. Perhaps Marilyn is more typical than you think and the lack of replies indicates this really is a non-issue.

I'd be worried about my guy if he didn't like to look at nude women. This has never bothered me at all, and would not have if I'd had sons instead of daughters. I would object to images of violence, extremes or fettishes...but other than that, who cares?

For most women, it's fine for their men to look and even express appreciation for a fine looking woman. What is not OK is to go on and on in the vein of: "Why don't you dye your hair red like Suzy at the office. Maybe you could get your boobs lifted like Suzy. Do you think you could wear spandex bike shorts like Suzy does?" Comparisons are rude, no matter which gender you are.

Maybe I am: "too insecure enough"...??

Edited by - wasasister on 13 July 2002 0:1:29

Valis

Eh I couldn't resist....I've gotten past the point in my life where I deal w/women who don't know me well enough to expect no leering. A healthy sexual appetite demands that you give it some fire, regardless if that be you are giving your prettier half the businees, leering at her, or leering at someone else. I was married to a completely jealous woman, and of that marriage it ended w/a violent incident instigated by her. It took me several years later to realize that in some things guys should have a low bullshit tollerance for. Mainly thier significant other not being very clear on who they are and the way they act. If a guy hooks up w/ a woman that has a real problem w/leering, and I'm not referring to gawking ALL the time when she's around, and things like pron, then he deserves everything he gets if he stays. Conversely, if a woman gets w/a guy and he's a total lecher and that's not what she wants, then she shoulnd't stay...no complaining, bitching or holy indignation if she does. BTW, I prefer the lovely girls who share my interest in beautiful women and really it is to everyone's benefit....heheh...MY .69 cents.

Sincerely,

District Overbeer

Xena

As long as the man I am with is giving me plenty of attention I don't mind him looking at other women. lol I look at them why shouldn't he???? But I do feel that it is rude of either sex to openly flirt with someone else, right in front of you.

It's all about having your needs met as far as I am concerned. You meet my needs....I meet yours...and if we still have something left over....and/or want to glance about a bit...what harm is there?

BTW Teejay thanks for that insight...men like to look at naked women...wow...learn something new everyday

yrs2long

Alas, if there was only a way to get the guys with those healthy leering qualities to exhibit them on the first date.

larc

Ladies, I don't think Teejay was describing anything you didn't know. I think his essay was meant to prompt you to think about how you deal with it. I have had discussions with my oldest daughter and my son's wife over this very subject, because both of them were up tight.

SPAZnik

teejay...

neat post. sounds fairly honest.

herez some of my ramblingz on the subject....kinda sleepy...forgive if i'm a bit scattered....

i wuz in a longterm relationship (5+ years) and my 'partner' wuz into nekkid womenz too.
for the most part this "appreciation" neva botha'd me.

hey it wuz alwayz nice to be appreciated for my nekkidness. lol

i remember with clarity my first thought the very first time i "caught" him with porn
it wuz basically...
"what? i'm not enuf?!?! is there something i'm not giving you that you need or want?"
nope, he never blamed me though......his 'habit' was not in anyway my failing.
not in his mind and not in mine
(after i got over the initial "insecurity". i could see that he liked all kindz o' nekkid womenz, oft' ones much like me...it wuzn't like he wuzn't attracted to me).

in reality, we both had "healthy" sexual appetites.
it wuzn't like he wuzn't getting any...letz just say, sex wuz frequent.

if anything, i understood and empathized with his desires.

if anything, when it got to the point of an addiction for him, i felt the same *pity*
for him, that i would for any person weak and selfish and greedy enough to place an inordinate/overt amount of emphasis on the the quick fix, the unreal and the one track
they miss out on what could be a fantastic, satisfying, balanced and REAL relationship.

let me tell you whut did bother me about porn:

it wuzn't coming home to him on the couch with his pantz down and the uh...vcr remote...in his hand.
(i alwayz found it funny when he had that *busted* guilty look on his face actually. and that he thought i wuz so stupid that he could have kept it a secret from me. and i really didn't want him to feel embarrassed either. i think partners/spouses should be able to talk openly about sexual stuff.)
it wuzn't the "faux" women i could never "compare" to.
i have a healthy self-esteem, and he never compared me anyway
(side tangent: in some ways i strongly agree with your line that it doesn't matter how "perfect" a woman is, her man will alwayz look.
yes, a woman's perfection has little or nothing to do with a mans wandering eyes...or his other wandering body parts for that matter.
however, i'd like to add to that...
that how "committed" the man really is at any given time, definitely has a direct bearing on his wandering eyes...or other body partz.
i've met men that are clearly so committed to their woman that they just don't flirt. plain and simple. not when they are truly focused on making it work with the relationship they are in. it is only 'their' woman that makes them feel manly...they don't need other women in order to escape from their own insecurities....
until that relationship breaks down on some level that they don't know how to fix or are too damn lazy to put that much effort into doing so....then the easy thing is of course to "buy a new one" no?

there is also the factor that
humans will often do anything IF they think they can get away with.
i've also met men who live a double life. total "one woman man", no wandering eyez when the woman is around...but get them in the right circumstances, they'd totally have a sexual relationship unbeknownst to her...as long as they are convinced she'd have no way of ever finding out.)
oops...back to the main topic...

it wuzn't finding the pictures of nekkid women in his jeans pocket when i went to do the laundry (altho this wuz getting a little weird and over the top).it wuzn't finding the magazines in his undie drawer when i put his clean laundry away.

it wuzn't looking for a movie we'd taped and stumbling across porn of every possible variety...even demonz...should i laff or cry...i really didn't know at that point.

But it WUZ, basically, that he was essentially having a 'sex life' that didn't involve me.There wuz a party and i wuzn't invited. lol.
And he didn't want to discuss it with me.
That iz a breach of communication. That iz a breach of fidelity.
That was honestly the only thing i didn't like about it.
Truth and the ability to be 'open' is a big deal in my world.

I'm like why not ask me to join him?
If he wants to watch or look, or just "get off" why can't I be a part of it?
He should've included me or at least given me the option.
I'm no prude, neva have been, neva pretended to be, so it bugged me that he wanted this sex life of his own on top of an already incredibly "active" sex life with me. If ya got needs, tell me. I'm all ears. If for some strange reason, I'm not into it, fine, but most importantly don't HIDE it from me.

Be who yer gonna be, but don't LIE to me about it, in a feeble attempt to control me and my reactions. I will ALWAYS find out.

And no matter what it is, don't try and tell me yer committed to me and I don't have good reason to feel insecure in this relationship if yer gonna lie to me about who you are and what you are up to.

There is no way that that kind of disconnect is healthy or unifying in a relationship.
Not unless those were the terms agreed upon from the outset.
Time to renegotiate and agreeing upon new terms from both sides?

There it is...the Trust factor...Trust is a big deal.
And if I can't trust you to be honest with me, what can i trust?

If you want to call looking at porn "human nature", then sure, letz talk "human nature".
Sadly, thingz have a very real way of progressing BEYOND merely peaking at a magazine or ten. Or watching a movie or twenty. Or a stripper or fifty. As humans discover sexuality, we start with looking and maybe touching and inevitably, things progress.
Flirting doesn't just stay flirting. We want more.
Handholding doesn't just stay handholding. We want more.
Kissing doesn't just stay kissing. We want more.
Necking doesn't just stay necking. We want more.
Groping doesn't just stay groping. We want more.
etc etc etc

In every aspect of life...things get better or worse, they rarely if ever stay the same.
And they most certainly aren't reversible.

No, not every person that looks at porn will "cheat"...

From my pov, a partner that excludes me from such a major part of his/her life, hiding it from me, already iz cheating me. The rest iz just time and foreseen occurance.

if you don't *get* why your partner is concerned about such a *threat* to your relationship,
then well, that's interesting.

Whut otha reason is there for hiding it, if yer truly committed?
It all just speaks volumes about the real quality of the relationship on other levels.

Sadly, like most drug users, and sex can be a drug, of sorts...
there comes a desensitizing. Like an immunity.
So things have to get more and more base/intense for the person to get the same *high*.
Like that Sade song "Its Never As Good As the First Time".
In fact, they aren't alwayz even enjoying it like they once did, but still they do that out of habit or something.

I had a partner that became immune to the occasional *look* and took it far beyond that.
Took over 5 years, but it eventually did have an impact on our relationship.
kinda sucks to wonder who yer partner is thinkin' bout when they're wit u.

Who knows, perhaps I became immune to being treated with such disregard.
C'est la vie.

If yer woman gets pissed about yer porn...take it as a compliment i guess.
At least she cares enuf about you, at.this.point, to get pissed about it.

Not a big deal? I dunno.
A man chooses to go to someone other than his woman for his sexual satisfaction,
he challenges his woman's "position" in his life. He chooses a "virtual" woman over a real flesh n' blood one. Then says, itz really no big deal. Yeah, ok.
If she fights for her own self-worth. I'd encourage that. Seems healthy to me.

What would you do if your woman went somewhere other than you for her sexual satisfaction?
What if she prefered, even on occasion, her vibrator, or her male stripperz...OVER YOU?
Would you say "no big deal?" Hell, would you even stick around long enuf to say that much?
How many names would you come up with for her in the first six seconds?

Far as i've experienced, real men take pride in pleasing their woman well.
Guess whut, real women are the same way.

Many women dubs i knew acted so disgusted about porn and masturbation and stuff like that.
I alwayz thought i must be weird cuz nothin' my partner did, really shocked or repulsed me.
Hell, i enjoy a good surprise....people are too predictable as far as i'm concerned. My only fear with commitment used to be that I would get bored. Well, in 5+ years, i can honestly say, he never bored me. heehee
Por moi, itz not what a partner does sexually that trips me out, its whether he includes me or lets me in on it on some level. I don't mean I hafta be there every time he wants ta jerk off to whoever. Its more about honesty and communication than sexuality.

'Cept when I'm horny and he already selfishly took care of himself so too bad for me.
Then i'm pissed off.

Screw that. hehe

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btw Marilyn, you said:

We just can't match your interest in all things naked.

All i've gotta say to that iz...."speak for yerself hun!"

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Prisca...excellent question (re: what do guyz think/feel when their woman looks at men with large cocks and beautiful bodies.) It ain't just a "women are too insecure" thing. Human nature, right?
In my experience, when a man does watch porn with his woman, he is usually very careful that few if any cocks are part of it. He'll claim, as have some posters on this board, that itz cuz it turns him off...but i suspekt it's really just a double standard of sorts. "i can look at nekkid women and you are just insecure if you have a problem with it....but i don't want u lookin at nekkid men."

i know a woman that instead of gettin' mad at her man for puttin up pics of women all over, simply posted a huge "playgirl" centrefold above their bed in their bedroom. LMAO.
try and perform now honey. haha.

If a woman reacts insecurely over her mans actions,
I feel sorry for both the woman and the man.
It ain't a relationship to envy. As far as i'm concerned, the chick is the one with a decision to make..."this is who he is, will i stay or will i go."

Like i alwayz say...a major mistake men and women make going into a relationship is,
the woman thinks the man will change,
and the man thinks the woman won't.

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oh....and am i against porn? nope. no big deal?

well, i'm not in a committed relationship right now. so no, no big deal.

actually, in my world, when itz openly talked about, it ain't that big a deal anytime,

just when its hiding up in the closet. Whut reason is there for hiding it?
It all just speaks volumes about the real quality of the relationship on other levels.

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oh i could go on and on and on
on this topic.

but i won't. lol.

SPAZ

COMF

I just like / prefer natural looking women, regardless of their flaws. Truth is... I like 'em a little thick, but that's just me.

A couple of things, teejay:
1. Natural-looking isn't a flaw. Silicone looks exactly like silicone. It's breasts that interest me, and they need to look like breasts. I know that you understand this; I'm just clarifying for the readers.

2. It isn't "just you". There's me and Stephanus among the outspoken ones, and thousands of others who secretly know that big women are hot, but won't admit it openly because they let the bullshit in the fashion magazines dictate what they are supposed to like, and they don't want to seem "uncool".

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