Nekked women

by teejay 34 Replies latest social relationships

• 

  Prisca

  It isn't "just you". There's me and Stephanus among the outspoken ones, and thousands of others who secretly know that big women are hot

  And women like me think that you are hot too, COMF
• 

  Stealth

  Raised as a JW, I was always told looking at nakid women would make me to go blind.

  Now where are my glasses?

  But seriously I tried to bring the human nature aspect of this out to my wife once by showing while at a magazine counter that had many skin mags. I and asked her why she thought the ratio of Men's mags were so much greater than mags for women?

  It did not go over very well with her and she only became convinced that most men are perverts.

  Edited by - stealth on 13 July 2002 10:40:44
• 

  SixofNine

  Sister SPAZnik, we've been having *cough*, problems, with men like your ex-husband. Best you stick to your own kind

  ps. interesting post.
• 

  lauralisa

  Hi Teejay!

  I learned that males humans were animals a longgggg time ago when I was in Jr. High school. There was a stairway in the school that was "famous" - and the smart girls learned to walk on the side of the stairs that was against the wall, NOT the side near the railing.

  There were BOYS underneath who spent god-knows how much time hanging around pretending to be "hanging around" because they were occasionally rewarded with a micro-second glimpse of an unknowing girl's panties as she came down the stairs on the railing side. (This was back when we couldn't wear pants to school yet! Dresses only!)

  Those boys LIVED for those moments, it seemed.... LOL

  Xena and Spaznik said a lot that I relate to. My mate is very aroused by certain visual, uh, stuff... he has shown me a few things, but his intentions were 'pure' - wants me to know what turns him on, etc. He has never caused ME to feel slighted, insulted, ugly, inferior, or anything other than I am his true love

  I think when women are helped their mate to feel secure - by reassuring them of their love, desire, and faithfulness, and NOT giving them cause to feel threatened or neglected or unattractive, most women would not need to make an issue of stuff like pornography or a reflexive jaw-drop when a gorgeous barbie doll walks by.

  If females feel unloved, threatened, insecure, and the like, they will have "issues" with just about anything available, simply because they are hurting.

  Remember last April when you posted something about toilet seat- up or downs and I went ballistic on ya? (I AM sorry about that Teejay ... we were moving, living out of our car for ten days, my access to internet was sporatic, I was hungry, angry, lonely and tired and DEFINITELY wanted a few hours in a decent bathtub). Anyway, the statements contained in that thread were - uh - definitely reasoned, but underneath them, the spirit behind them was "you are such a whining neurotic cow, and I can barely stand being around you... "

  Maybe the woman typified in that piece (I'll try and find it) http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=25033&site=3
  would not have to be a nagging bitch, always complaining and finding fault, desperately maneuvering for SOME kind of compliment (or attention, even) IF both parties took a "communications .000000101 class" and could speak directly to their needs and feelings. OK me shut up now.

  I hope you will accept my apology for being - um quite direct back then because I miss you, even if you want to look at naked women....!!!

  laura

  Edited by - lauralisa on 13 July 2002 11:54:24
• 

  Francois

  I admit I haven't read this entire thread. But just in case no one else has made the point, I'm gonna.

  TeeJay, you be listenin? Here it are, an' you can believe it or no, it's da troof. Most wimmen, like 90% or more of 'em, like doin' that wild thang jus' as much as us guys do. There - it's out in da open. And like I said, it be da troof!! How I know this?

  Well, for one thang, I went to college. And for another thang, I been single a lotsa times in my life. Once for ten years.

  Thang is, wimmen doan want us to no dat. They want us to think dey be jes givin' in fo' our sakes, 'cause they love us so much. Horse Hockey. They gets as big a thrill out of it as we do. Whafor you think they gots all them posters of half-naked men fo'? So's wimmens can gawk at 'em all day and den disappear into the ressroom for a half hour. 'N' why you thank dey be places like Victoria Secrets? Who you thank they be dressin' up fo'?

  'N' sumpin' else. You evah pick up a copy of Cosmopolitan magzine? JAYSUS LAWD!! Them wimmen got moe ways to get us in de sack wif out us thankin' they be tryin' to get us in de sack than Carter's got little liver pills. 'N' de tricks they read about in dat magzine. WHOOOOOEEEEE, hep me Jaysus. I swan, iffin' ol' Ethyl tried out somma dat stuff on me, I'd have to go visit de parson fo half de affernoon. Some dat stuff I nevah evah heard tell about, much less DO nun of it. 'N' dem wimmen ack lak dey so modes', 'n' so put upon to give up a l'ill bit every oncet 'n' a wile. They be tricky, dem wimmen-folk. You gots to watch 'em.

  'N' day say we gots one track minds. Lemme tell you sumpin', we might be thankin' wiff de little haid, but at leas' we be thankin' wiff sumpin, you knows whur I'm at?

  An' I wants to axe you guys sumpin. What woman you evah been wid that didn't think she had the ONLY one a dem thangs on de hole planet? 'n' not only dat, but even if they was millions 'n' millions more of dem thangs, dat HERS was de best 'un anywhur in de entire universe? 'n' it be a privlige dat she let you close to dat thang AT ALL - wiff out you makin' appintment three month aheada time?

  You'uns can tak my woid fuh it. You doan b'lieve me? You go on down to da heart doctah, 'n' yo' gets you soma dat medcine fo high blood. Dat high blood medcine take de lead right outta yo' pencil fastah dan de woid ah Gawd. You see how long it take yo' woman ta start complainin' 'bout dat high blood medcine. I bets it doan take mo' dan about 48 hours, thas what I say. 'N' dey say we gots one track minds. Sheeeeeeeeeeit!

  Bocephas
• 

  teejay

  oh i could go on and on and on
  on this topic.

  but i won't. lol.

  Too funny, SPAZ. Damn, Sis. Where do I start??!!!

  First let me say that was a very cool post. More than I expected - lots and lots of interesting comments. You sound like a very secure woman with an open mind. My kind of girl, no doubt. There's a lot I could say, considering the acre or two of ground that you've turned up. At the moment, two comments / ideas of yours stand out, and they are somewhat related. I'll comment on those.

  The first deals with what bothered you about your man's interest in porn -- what you saw as a sex life enjoyed without you. The second thought is where you (and Prisca) wondered how I / we would react if our women had the same interest in either porn or going to see the Chippendales, etc.

  You said

  But it WUZ, basically, that he was essentially having a 'sex life' that didn't involve me.
  There wuz a party and i wuzn't invited. lol.
  And he didn't want to discuss it with me.
  That iz a breach of communication. That iz a breach of fidelity.

  First, let me say that I believe you when you say that you had an active sex life. Gettin' some was not a problem for your man. Your attractiveness (unattractiveness) was not a problem. I just think that your reaction -- that it was infidelity -- was off base. Totally. He may have just been insecure.

  True story: before I got married I was involved with a woman. We never "went together", per se, and didn't really hang out, either. Hard, even now, to put a label on what we had. All I can tell you for sure is that I liked her -- felt a real connection w/ her. Even loved her, maybe. We were friends. Had a few things in common. If things had been just slightly different, things would have been waay different, if that makes any sense. We were also intimate a half-dozen times. Here's my point:

  Once, she wanted me to jack off in front of her.

  Now, I'm a pretty liberated man and my relationship with her was pretty secure, but I had no interest in doing that for her. Later on I figured that the reason I couldn't was because I was a little insecure about it. Yeah, it's a pretty normal activity that most men engage in, but few relish the idea of having an audience of more than one when they do. It dawned on me that my relationship with her was not as secure as I thought.

  With that in mind, I'm thinking that your man's interest in porn was a bit more personal than he wanted to (or could) admit with you. Maybe it was an embarrassment to him. Maybe he thought it might offend / hurt you, so decided to keep it from you. Could be any number of things. You are an (unusually) open, secure and uninhibited woman and he probably made a mistake in not fully opening up to you. It's apparent to me that you no doubt could have handled it, but there may have been a very good reason for his interest in porn (and wanting to keep it secret) that didn't at all include you.

  On the question of how I'd feel if my wife looked at other men like I do women...

  Prisca asked:

  Do guys have a problem with women looking at porno - porno that is designed for women?

  Porno that features huge penises, and beautiful perfect male bodies???

  Would it upset you if your girlfriend/wife liked looking at it?

  You asked:

  What would you do if your woman went somewhere other than you for her sexual satisfaction?
  What if she prefered, even on occasion, her vibrator, or her male stripperz...OVER YOU?
  Would you say "no big deal?"

  This may surprise the both of you, but it wouldn't bother me one bit. Seriously.

  I really believe what I posted at the beginning -- that it doesn't matter how fine a man's woman is, how good the sex is, how good she cooks, etc. Men are *still* going to look at women and they are going to like looking. Men who try to get you to believe otherwise are either gay or they are lying.

  Well, guess what? I think women are the same, perhaps differing only in degree. This is a general statement, of course, but I think it's essentially true. The average man is much more visual than the average woman so is more likely to get off on looking. Yeah, there are *some* women who are as visual (you seem to be one of those, which is waay cool), but most women are wired are a little different and have less of an interest in that particular sexual turn-on.

  Still, regardless of what we're talking about, everybody likes variety. Despite my overwhelming fineness, rugged good looks, a body that drips with awesome masculinity (*cough, cough* ... where was I?) I'd think it only natural that my wife would enjoy other attractive men. If she wanted to put up posters, go for it, Baby. Like I said, I'm a very secure man, getting even more secure by the day.

  [Note: I believe that in this area my viewpoint is NOT the norm. Most men cannot handle it when their women do what *they* do. These aren't real men.]

  I don't subscribe to the belief that one woman can totally satisfy any man in every way. The opposite is also true. For example, if my wife wanted to have long talks with male friends or even go have dinner or to the movies with them (esp. if it's a movie I have zero interest in), I'd be cool with that. If she wanted to look at Playgirl or go see the Chippendales, I'd see nothing wrong. I don't see me as god's gift and don't think I have to be her everything when it comes to male-dom.

  Like you, I could go on w/ this... but I won't.

  Thanks for the insightful post, Spaz. You cool.
• 

  teejay

  Btw, Laura,

  Yeah, I remember that thread and your reaction. I didn't know what was going on in your world, but I knew *something* was.

  All I'll say is that if you think for one second that I would hold a single word of that post of yours against you or that it would have ANY affect on our friendship, then you GOT ANOTHER THING COMING! No need whatsoever for an apology. We way past cool.
• 

  zenpunk

  I bought my husband his very first lapdance at a New Orleans strip bar when he left the truth. So there!
• 

  imissthedub

  Just adding my thoughts on this:

  I have no problem with my man looking at naked pictures of women or adult movies. I do not care if he wants to go see a stipper. Now, if this was something he did all of the time and our sex life or other times where we should be having fun, etc were ruined, than I would say it was a problem.

  My man does not care if I look at naked pictures of men or adult movies. Does not care if I want to see a male stripper. He hired one for the birthday one year.

  We do not have sex with other people, but both feel it is human to want to look at people and that it is actuauly good for our marraige to do so. Erotic stories w/o pics are also big in our home.

  I have as great of, or greater than, a sex drive as my husband. I do not particularly want to look at naked women, but they do not offend me. He is not offended with movies with men's cocks in them.....but then he is very well endowed.

  I am surprised that some women OR men are upset by this....how insecure are they? Also, I think it is unfair to say that men like to do this more than women. It depends on the individual, not upon the gender.

  My husband and I adore sex, vaginal, anal, oral, role playing, light b & d......but you see what is important here is that we TRUST each other and we are both SECURE and we give each other the RIGHT and the FREEDOM to enjoy and admit to love for sexuality. If more couples did that perhaps there would be less divorce and, ultimately alot more looking but alot less doin' of people other than your spouse.....cuz your spouse would be just too dam much fun to do!!!!!
• 

  SPAZnik

  SixofNine....lmao.... have i mentioned that u r my fave?
  
  teejay....wow...after i realized how loooong my post was, i wuzn't actually 'specting anyone to actually read it. LOL.
  
  Neat to hear your feedback. Interesting to hear whatcha think about reversing the guy/gal rolez here regarding looking at nekkid peoplez. You do sound more 'open' than most to dat. Sounds like somethin fer me to 'speriment wit s'more myself. hehe
  
  Also, you said:
  
  

  Maybe it was an embarrassment to him. Maybe he thought it might offend / hurt you, so decided to keep it from you.

  Yes. I think he could have been extremely shy/embarrassed about it. So much so that while i would joke about masturbation, he would shrivel up and hide, deny deny deny. LOL. The extreme that he took the whole porn thing too , without ever getting more comfortable to communicate about it, still felt like virtual unfaithfulness to me though. However, not strictly due to the porn situation. There were other contributing factors I guess that made me feel that way.
  
  Much like imissthedub said:
  

  Now, if this was something he did all of the time and our sex life or other times where we should be having fun, etc were ruined, than I would say it was a problem.

  Ah well, live and learn eh.

  SPAZ
  
  edited for formatting.

  Edited by - SPAZnik on 16 July 2002 20:1:33