TRICKY SITUATION

by bay64me 38 Replies latest jw friends

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  Brymichmom

  I think the police needs to be called immediately when the abuse begins again. If you can hear the abuse or see it, then you could be an eyewitness in the situation. If you were seeing just someone out on the street committing an assault, wouldn't you call the police? This is not a tricky situation at all. This man belongs in jail.

  Many states now have changed their domestic abuse laws. The wife no longer has to be the one who presses charges and she can no longer drop the charges if there has been obvious abuse, such as injuries.

  I was abused and beaten by my former husband who was a JW. The elders knew about it and did nothing to help me. I'm sure my neighbors heard my cries and screams, but nobody was there to help me.

  Cynthia
• 

  onacruse

  My upstairs apartment neighbors have an abusive relationship...she sometimes comes downstairs to my apartment to get away from him, has shown me the bruises. I tell her that she has the choice to leave, but she won't. Then I went upstairs and told them both that I would call the police next time I had reason to think there was abuse. Here, the law requires that, if the police come to a domestic violence situation, at least ONE person goes to jail.

  My threat seems to have calmed things down a little, at least as far as I can tell.

  The fist of Ceasar!

  edit for PS: It helps that I am male and bigger than both of them put together, but that wouldn't make much of a difference if they pulled a knife or gun. Direct intervention is dangerous, and I don't mean to recommend it!

  Edited by - onacruse on 2 September 2002 21:6:31
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  LovesDubs

  If you call the police every time this happens, then there will be a record of it happening repeatedly. I believe that after awhile it can be taken out of her hands if she will not press charges, the state will against him for spousal abuse. I would much rather be assured I did something than have her killed and then live with the fact that I hesitated.
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  WildHorses

  If I were in your shoes, I would call the police. I would not want to feel guilty if he killed her and I did nothing to try to stop it. She may not press charges but you never can tell, the time you call could be the time you save her life.
• 

  Xandria

  I have been in that situation and I called the police. An I pressed charges b/c the woman would not. Being a survivor of abuse ( albiet from my mom) I was not going to be afraid. He did confront me and yes he was bigger than me. But, I told him point blank I was not going to put up with his shit.

  He may of thought it was his personal business.. I told him there is a difference between a fight that is a disagreement and a all out beating. He raised his hand to me and I said, "oh yea hit me and find out what happens!" he when he saw that I was not going to be a victim he backed off. ( Besides I had military mace in my hand. That stuff glows in a black light up to 48 hours and is admissable as evidence of a attack ).

  Xandria
• 

  Nanoprobe

  Mimilly & others

  It really restores my faith in the world when I read clear cut posts like yours: People matter, how tricky can it be to help? You don't have to skirt the issue, that was the elder's job remember? Just do the right thing. Common sense is so uncommon in this world.
• 

  Been there

  Sorry............................. This is a no brainer! Someone screams for help in the middle of the night YOU CALL 911 !

  I don't mean to be mean, but it SHOULD sit heavy on your mind. You have suffered abuse? you know what she was feeling. You won't get any sympathy on this one. They never have to know who called the police. Depression and Agoraphobia is NOT an excuse. I feel for you since I also suffer from it on and off, but ya know what...............I was able to CALL 911 if I had to. Get on some medication, they have plenty that work wonders for that condition. There aren't to many MEDs for abuse. INTERVENTION! If it happens again remember CRY FOR HELP=CALL 911! No thinking to it.
• 

  Mimilly

  ISP - call about the noise? WTF? What about the woman being beat to shit? If a call is gonna be made, why not just tell it as it is!

  SIMON - I'm disappointed in you. For someone who has been running a site with numerous survivors I would have hoped you had learned a thing or two about what abuse does to a person. You said something like - don't worry - it's her issue if she stays? And tape recording? The police would just looooove that one - here she is tape recording a possible death and didn't call instead? What if Ang was being beaten up? What would YOU want someone who heard to do? Just tape record it? Hope she can reach a phone and call herself?

  Domestic abuse is NO different than child abuse in that if you know about it - REPORT IT. Otherwise - you're nothing more than an accessory.

  Mimilly
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  dsgal

  The couple who use to live across the street from me got into a wicked fight one time and the abuse was going both ways.She was beating the shit out of him and he was strabbing her car tires.I called the police non-emergency number and when they asked for my name and address,I told them I wanted to remain anonymous,which was okay by them.If you call the non-emergency number there is no trace of where the call originated from.In this case the man went to jail and was back bright and early the next morning.My husband finally reported their behavior to their landlord and he kicked them out.
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  Mimilly

  dsgal - the problem is that you're assuming that a serious attack or death won't occur by calling a non-emergency number. Domestic violence is unpredictable and is the call that cops fear the most for that reason. It can turn nasty and deadly in a second.

  No one can ever assume that a death or serious attack will not happen.

  bttt Call 911

  Mimilly