Has there been a policy change?

by Mulan 44 Replies latest jw friends

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  ozziepost

  G'day Mulan,

  Thanks for the update.

  I can see another lie from the PO, a technicality, but still an untruth:

  He also said that if we were to join a church they could make that announcement, even if we hadn't written a letter.

  You only have to "attend", not JOIN, a church.

  We know that only too well.

  It seems to me that whilst ever Mom is with you, they'll have you dancing to their tune, playing THEIR games. Boy, I feel very "anti Watchtower" tonite!!

  Cheers, Ozzie

  P.S. When Mrs Ozzie read your post earlier today, she was quite irate for you, and she wanted to get a post in reply by way of support, but didn't quite make it. She says she'll e-mail. She likes that better.

  Edited by - ozziepost on 5 September 2002 5:16:15
• 

  Pathofthorns

  It is no secret that elders will often actively warn others to not associate with you when you have ceased involvement due to reasons of discontent with certain policies or practices within the organization.

  Often these elders will make reference to "apostasy" in connection with your name and strongly discourage association with you.

  The funny thing is, often you have enough friends within the organization that maintain a measure of loyalty to you as a friend and will pass on information to you if they have been cautioned by elders against association with you.

  I personally find this offensive and unacceptable. While no one can force people to associate with them, elders who actively discourage association with you and lead JW associates to believe you are an apostate are deliberately damaging your character among your peers. If you are an apostate you should be disfellowshipped as an apostate. If you are not disfellowshipped for apostasy and they are not engaged in proceedings to that effect then they have no business stating or implying such to others. IMO they need to be called on this when they reduce themselves to such behavior.

  Elders must maintain confidentiality when it comes to their flocks and should not be discussing reasons even for a judicial committee with anyone outside that committee. They certainly should be above gossip and slander. I would send a letter to the congregation and one to Brooklyn stating that you have witnesses to slanderous comments regarding you and that you will not continue tolerating this behavior if it continues.

  Path
• 

  Dismembered

  Thanks for the update Mulan
• 

  Sentinel

  (((MULAN)))

  Its so awful, that you have to have such unhappy stuff going on with your 90 yr old mom. So unreal! Of all the things for mother and daughter to have to even "discuss". So abnormal.

  I disassociated myself in 1981. I wrote two letters to that affect. One to my congregation and one directly to the Society. No one replied to either one. It was my own mother who saw to it that I was "labeled" and "shunned". She spread the word that I wasn't coming back and didn't "believe it was the truth" anymore. But, she succeeding in removing all my dear friends far from me, and I never pushed the issue with them when they cut me off, one by one. Who knows what lies were spread. It doesn't matter anymore.

  Nothing was ever announced from the platform of the KH. I left because I made up my own adult mind that I didn't want to be a JW any more. I was so screwed up, that I didn't go to other churchs, I just became "religiously dormant". I tried to put the JW experience behind me, and in doing that, I wanted nothing to do with religion period.

  A few years later, when I began a serious relationship, I was invited by my future husband to check out his church. I thought I was going to pass out! I felt like the rage of Jah was upon me for stepping foot in another religious building. I began shaking and got physically sick. I have never been to another church since.

  Actually, that has not been a bad thing for me either. JW's always say "where will you go?", and in so many ways, that is a true statement. Since they don't have the truth, it is easy to see that all the world's religions have failed mankind through the centuries.

  I'm at a much better place now. Even though the JW's still affect me through my mother, I am FREE. I really don't care if they stick me with the label "apostate". If telling the truth about them will benefit someone else, then I do it. I don't preach apostacy. I don't try to picket KH's to get people out. It's their free choice.

  I wish you and your mom success in working through these issues.

  Sentinel/Karen
• 

  happy2b

  I disassociated myself almost 4 years ago. It was the best decision ever! I had been inactive for years anyway, so I rarely saw any jw's. My husband's parents and sister are still very active. His father is an Elder, and at first, he was so ANGRY and HURT. (wahh!, lots of crying from them when they found out) His father said that he would never step foot in our home again. Well, it's been going on 4 years now, and his parents have visited 3 times. That's more than I ever thought they would. It is very awkward and we don't react as we did in the past, but they still visited. My husband's sister has been the hardball. My husband's grandmother was in the hospital, we went to see her and sis-in-law came in. I was completely ignored! She hugged her brother, (my hubby), and the kids. Never even glanced my way. I thought that when it came to family, that you could have small dealing with the ds'd person, in "certain" situations. (like hospital visits, family emergencies, etc...) Oh well. She really looked stupid ignoring me, I could tell that she was very uncomfortable. It was weird.

  My family are all inactive, but still do the "I'm still a jw, so I won't do anything "wrong" mode. But, the don't shun me. I mean, how could they? they don't do anything themselves.

  Shortly after I ds'd myself, a witness came to my door in service, (she has known me all my life). I opened door and said, "well, Hi!". (not thinking about my illness....HAHA!) She stood there in horror and said, "oh, hummmm...........did you ds yourself?" I said, "oh yeah I did, and I've never been happier". She backed up, like I had cooties, stepped down my steps, backwards now....and off she went. It was terrifying!! hehe!!

  Oh! the day they were to make the announcement at the Hall of my demise, my sis-in-law calls me to tell me that if I would call the Elders and tell them NOT to announce it, that she could still associate with me. She said that even if I still got out, she could still associate with me. It's like, as long as you don't make it widely known, then they will still talk to you. So hypocritical, don't you think?

  The reason I decided to write the letter was, I felt that I had made a commitment and in order for me to get out of that commitment, I had to give a 2-week notice, so to speak. I just wanted it formally known, that I didn't want to be bothered by witnesses trying to bring me back in the 'fold'. I think that my house is now on the "don't even bother!" list. hehe!

  It was weird, at first, seeing people that I've known and that have known me since I was little, completely ignoring my existence. But now, it's much better. It doesn't bother me anymore, I actually feel sorry for them now. And I've decided that if I want to say hello, I will. I mean, it's their religion, not mine anymore. I don't have to follow their rules.

  Life is much happier spent with freedom to think as I please. My kids are "normal", not like I was as a child. I always felt out of place, but somehow superior to the other kids, like I knew things that they didn't and felt sorry for them. So sad. the jw's took so much away from us.

  Take care to all! and remember to take a moment of silence tomorrow for all of the innocent victims of that tragedy.

  Wonder how the jw's reacted to that event? any ideas?

  Hugs,

  happy2b OUT!