by searchfothetruth 49 Replies latest jw friends
I have two step granddaughters that are gay. We love them as we love all of our grandchildren. How they got that way is immaterial. They just are. So we just accept them and their partners. Life is too short for them to be miserable (and us too).
If anyone here is having difficulty accepting a gay child, there is an excellent support group for the Parents and Family of Lesbians and Gays called PFLAG.
Tammy
If I found out my son/daughter was gay early in their life, I would use it as an opportunity to help my child learn that life as a gay wouldn't be an easy thing, and to be prepared for the challenges ahead.
I think that teaching your child to be prepared for life's challenges is a part of parenthood, regardless if your child is gay, disabled, fat, ugly, beautiful, whatever.
My cousin Gill is gay. My sister asked him a few years when he realised he was gay. He told her that when he was a little boy he knew he was different because most of his friends had a crush Cinderella and he had a crush on Prince Charming.
Shari
Edited to ad: I must have had a senior moment, because I meant to ad that this being the case people do not choose to be gay, they are born that way. And if anyone were to say anything bad about my cousin for being gay I would slap them silly!
Edited by - Lilacs on 8 September 2002 12:50:41
I have a question similiar to Sixofnine's. If you are heterosexual, did you choose it, or did it just naturaly happen? Well, if you are like me, attraction to the opposite sex just happened. I did not make a mental choice. I did not have to think, do I like women or men? It was not a choice. It was a natural event. So, why should it be different for homosexuals?
larc wrote:
I have a question similiar to Sixofnine's. If you are heterosexual, did you choose it, or did it just naturaly happen? Well, if you are like me, attraction to the opposite sex just happened. I did not make a mental choice. I did not have to think, do I like women or men? It was not a choice. It was a natural event. So, why should it be different for homosexuals?
That is an excellent point, larc, which most heterosexual people don't even stop to think about. Sexual orientation is not a choice, whether you are gay, bi, or straight. It just happens. People can experiment, but their sexual orientation doesn't change because they do experiment.
People don't turn gay. They have usually been struggling to conform to straight stereotypes for years, going through the motions, then realize that it just won't work for them to keep fighting their nature that way. There is enormous pressure for gay people to conform, in the movies, on TV, in schools, in churches and elsewhere. But things are changing, and our children and grandchildren are realizing that they no longer have to be miserable for half their lives before coming out.
Tammy
Here is the link to that support group for parents mentioned earlier: http://www.pflag.org/
There is only one true test for gayness in men. If they like their nipples sucked, they are gay or about to turn gay. It's a proven fact.
For Christ's sake!
My mom was working with a man one time several years ago, apparently really good looking, and my mom asked him, he certainly could have his choice among many beautiful women, why was he gay. He simply replied "Do you think I choose to be this way? Do you think I choose to be laughed at, picked on etc?"
You know, for a bunch who've impressed me in my short time here as being more liberal than the average person on this question, some of you strike me as the biggest bunch of prudes I've ever run across (Larc, SixofNine, Xena, LyinEyes and Prisca, among others, excepted)! I got so mad reading this I don't remember anymore who said the parts I quote above and below.
Did any of you not mentioned above READ the last sentence above in the quote and THINK about the logic behind it? We run the risks of being fired for being gay/bi/lesbian; denied service in restuarants, evicted, beaten up (does the name Matthew Shephard ring a bell?), lose custody of our children in divorces (I will but I'm resigned to it). So why don't one of you brainiacs tell me why ANY of us would choose to be gay?
That part about this guy working around all these beautiful women and so why would he choose to be gay? Now there's ego! Oh how pretty all these (insert favorite term here, like: babes, foxes, chicks, broads, fillies, etc) are--who wouldn't wanna f$%k `em? They must make Miss America look like a librarian!
Queenie talks about meeting another woman who she obviously feels strongly attached to and nobody says a thing bad. Mention male gays in this thread and it's "why would they choose...?"
I'll go on record now, since there seems to be some doubt a gay man can find women attractive--of the ones here who post pics (just FYI). I know it'll be considered a mistake and maybe touch off some jealousy, but DILLIGAF? RubyTuesday is obviously "hot." To me, she, LyinEyes, and Venice are about neck-and-neck, with BeautifulGarbage and Prisca close behind. And I wasn't BS'ing JoannaDandy when I said I thought she was cute. Some others don't have pics, but their personalities shine through in their words. And I damn sure wouldn't sniff around Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera (sp?) or Ashanti even if I had the chance.
Princess--people aren't always "label-able" as strictly this or that. Some people can shift along the Kinsey scale, and for many orientation isn't carved in stone. The guy you mentioned might have been bi-curious, tried men, found he didn't like it, and conducted himself as a straight afterwards.
So, yes, in my opinion, some choose, some don't. I've learned to be non judgmental about others, not like that being in the "truth" where everyone is judged.
This last quote is a contradiction in itself. You (whoever) say you're not judgemental after judging (the basis for an opinion) that some people do choose and some don't. Just what the hell difference does it make anyway? As Korzybski said, "A difference which makes no difference is no difference."
Boy were my eyes opened tonight.
There is only one true test for gayness in men. If they like their nipples sucked, they are gay or about to turn gay. It's a proven fact.
LOL @ LB! You nut! You made my day!
The subject of "gay" comes up here from time to time. It usually develops into some pretty long threads. I think some people just do not "get" it.
My experience is gay people are born that way. They don't choose to be gay any more than other people choose to be straight. Many say they knew they were different from an early age --say 5 years old. How do you make a "lifestyle choice" at that age? Simple--you don't. It's hardwired into the individual.
Many indiviuals who appear to "change" from straight to gay are simply coming to grips with the fact they've been gay all along, but were in denial.
If you're straight, you can't make yourself gay. And vice versa.
Just my two cents.
Kingpawn, thank you for your opinions and observations. As you can see there are very divided opinions her. You said that you can appreciate the beauty of certain women, but not be sexually attracted to her. As a hetrosexual, I have the same perspective regarding men. I think there are certain men that are very attractive looking. That does not mean that I want to have sex with them. Among hetro-men, I find that very few will admit that another guy is good looking. That is how afraid they are of the gay issue.
