How Have U Changed since Leaving? (page 2)

Lady Lee

Let's see.

I am

free to be more tolerant of others' beliefs
free to be more tolerant of other's lifestyles (because they are none of my business
free to be able to do things I love (lots more time and no one telling me I can't)
free to show my love and care for others without worrying that it takes time from the borg
free to get an education that has improved my self-esteem
free to get therapy which had taken away my depression and improved my self-esteem
free to be really happy
free to live in a way that I feel good about
free to watch/read/listen to what I want without fear
free to buy what I want without fear (especially at garage sales)
free to live without fears of demons attacking me
free to live without thinking the elders are coming to talk to me
free to let my children lead their own lives without preaching to them
free to live my life without preaching to anyone
free to live THIS life withou worrying about getting into paradise
free to publically speak out against the things I think are bad like abuse and cults
free to accept myself for who I am today
free to change what I don't like about myself
free to not see my family who makes me feel like crap
free to leave an abusive husband
free to see those members of my family that I care for and treat me with love
free to no longer be a victim (of people or of the borg)

Edited by - lady lee on 8 September 2002 10:38:53

Kingpawn

Lady Lee's post sums it up in one word: freedom.

"Knowledge is power" so that power was used to grow. I expanded my horizons, became less fearful, even though sometimes it was painful or I had to be pushed into things. And not all of them worked out.

I feel more in charge of my life--being more assertive. Empowered.

Maybe just "more." More like a normal thinking, living human being. Freedom to be.

Mulan

I used to be very Pharisaical, so now I strive to be the opposite of that, and am very non judgmental. One of our close exJW friends are critical of me for that, because he thinks I feel that "anything goes", which is not true. I just don't judge other people's life decisions. If they want to have sex before marriage, I don't care. I think if I were suddenly single again, I would do the same thing, eventually. If they want to smoke pot, I don't care. I haven't been offered any, so don't know if I would or not, so I don't say "no", automatically, that I would never do it.

I question almost everything, and am open to new ideas, that would have horrified me as a JW, like "are the dead really dead?" "can people like John Edward and Sylvia Brown really talk to the dead?" In the past I would have cried "demons", but now it is an interesting experience to explore.

I am much more independent and assertive than I was as a JW, submissive, elder's wife. Fortunately my husband allows me that freedom, without trauma.

patio34

Hi Introspection, you said:

you are not all those artificial constructs, and the genuine article can then appear

I've found that also. There aren't pervasive and invasive dictates on every situation in your life on how to act and react. Your own identify (good, bad, or indifferent!) can then flourish.

Hi Queenie,

You said,

I am a people too if this makes sense to anyone and that queenie counts too and my needs come first

After recovering from being Catholic, JW for 28 yrs, and motherhood J Im beginning to see this too!

Hi InBetweenDays, you said:

I guess there is that turning point in your life when you realise the organisation of Jehovahs Witnesses is just plain insignificant - it means nothing - and thats a damn good feeling!!

That is soooo true. I was thinking of a neighbor elder and if he asked me why Im not at meetings, I would just laugh and say its none of your business. Theyre nothing to us anymore and cant demand defenses from us.

Hi Dismembered, That is such a clever name! If I were a guy, that would be first on my list!

Hi Waiting, thanks for the kind words. It means more considering the source: that YOU are such a fine, clever, and wonderful person. It helps that were sisters, eh? Your kids are greatI just love them. In addition to being achievers, they have a wicked wit! Especially the middle child!

Hi Lin, you said:

I simply began doing alot of the things I was never allowed to do but really enjoy doing: Dancing in clubs, singing and recording, and finally found a wonderful man I'm marrying in May of next year.

Thats great news and goes far in helping to overcome the cruel policies of the JWs. Congratulations on your success!

Hi LadyLee, your list of freedoms is great! Its quite amazing how much restriction was on us as JWs. It is like having been in prison, but not quite realizing it until youre out of it.

Hi InBetweenDays, you said:

I guess there is that turning point in your life when you realise the organisation of Jehovahs Witnesses is just plain insignificant - it means nothing - and thats a damn good feeling!!

That is soooo true. I was thinking of a neighbor elder and if he asked me why Im not at meetings, I would just laugh and say its none of your business. Theyre nothing to us anymore and cant demand defenses from us.

Hi Waiting, thanks for the kind praise. It means so much more considering the source: that YOU are such a fine, clever, and wonderful person. It helps that were sisters, eh? Your kids are greatI just love them. In addition to being achievers, they have a wicked wit! Especially the middle child!

Hi LadyLee, your list of freedoms is great! Its quite amazing how much restriction was on us as JWs. It is like having been in prison, but not quite realizing it until youre out of it.

Edited by - Patio34 on 8 September 2002 11:16:47

Edited by - Patio34 on 8 September 2002 11:17:37

patio34

Ha! Please excuse the formatting and duplicates in the above post--everytime I did something it seemed to mess it up more! That's what I get for trying to add a different font and color, I suppose.

Pat

It also took out this quote: "The world--Take it easy, but take it."

ozziepost

I used to be very Pharisaical, so now I strive to be the opposite of that, and am very non judgmental.

I would like to think that this is true of me, but I know that, at times, it isn't! I lapse. Those ingrained dub ways are so hard to change.

One day I'll make it!

he thinks I feel that "anything goes", which is not true.

I've heard this from dubs too. They just don't get it, do they? It's like they have a veil over their eyes, but, then, that's what the scriptures say will be the case.

We can only try.

Cheers, Ozzie

neyank

How Have U Changed since Leaving?

For one thing, I only get dressed up for weddings and funerals now.
Not for 5 meetings a week.

I don't take anything as 'truth' without solid evidence anymore.

Try to be less judgemental than as a JW.

I also don't believe any one person or group has all the answers.

And we know as JWs, WE had all the answers. NOT!!!!!

neyank

TheSurvivor

How many of us, including me, watched the movie Braveheart and CHEERED when 'Ole Mel screamed FREEEEEEEDOMMMMMM! I know this was more about political freedom, but it still gave me the shivers since I was sitting there thinking that his tormentor was much like the Elders. Then again, maybe every injustice, immoral and underhanded thing reminds me of them these days. But the main theme is *freedom*. You are free to live as the Pilgrims did. The Pilgrims did not believe in organized religion....that is what they fled. They just believed in God, being good people, and serving him the best way they could. I think I have been a Pilgrim for a long time.

TheSurvivor

Flip

Once I was able to free myself partially from my Watchtower Society indoctrinated childhood. I eventually learned to try and recognize how not to give respect and support to those who undeservedly assumed the role of authority figure.

Lady Lee

Some more

I am

free to celebrate life and holidays, birthdays and even death
free to love God without being told what to believe and how to believe
free to sleep in on weekends
free to spend my holidays on vacation instead of at a DC
free to write about what hurts me
free to be honest - really honest - not false honesty
free to be happy - really happy - not fake happiness
free to be a Christian (or whatever it is I am)
free to talk to active JWs who come to my door (despite the fact that I was told by the elders not to)
free to sing the anthem, salute the flag and be proud of my Canadian country
free to have pets instead of wondering what to do with them when i went to DC
free to talk to all of you and post here and anywhere I want on the internet

How Have U Changed since Leaving?

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