How Have U Changed since Leaving?

by patio34 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • patio34
    patio34

    I think the theme here is freedom. That was a great part of Braveheart, Survivor. After all, we all live in free countries, it was ironic that we were not free, but subjected ourselves to authoritarian people.

    Flip said

    I eventually learned to try and recognize how not to give respect and support to those who undeservedly assumed the role of authority figure.

    That takes some time. I wasn't raised as a dub, but was a Catholic and maybe that paved the way for an even more total-control religion. Religions assume, imo, an illegitimate authority over people. The can only claim what you let them get away with. But it takes time and practice to overthrow that, as you said.

    Ozzie says

    he thinks I feel that "anything goes", which is not true.

    I've heard this from dubs too. They just don't get it, do they? It's like they have a veil over their eyes, but, then, that's what the scriptures say will be the case.

    The idea of "anything goes" is pretty preposterous due to the harm that comes to the individual and the community. Being an atheist for now does not make me want to go out and risk STDs, lung cancer, and other harms. Nor does it make me want to steal (as evidenced by my finding a purse recently and immediately turning it in). I've always been a pretty-much safe and ethical person, in or out of the influence of religion. In fact, it's more real now because it's really my choice, not some imposed choice from religion.

    But I do cuss now and then , just because I can, damn it!

    There's another thread up about the "morality" of atheists. I think "ethics" is a far better word, because of necessity for atheists, religion is removed from the picture. There's a disproportionately smaller percentage of atheists in prisons (That was on the board one time and I don't know the veracity of that, so forget it.)

    However, I do think it's correct that people tend to bring their own ethics to their religion so it matters not when they become atheists or were always such. If anything, atheists may realize the futility of waiting on a divinity to correct matters or waiting to get thru this life so as to get to paradise or heaven. Besides, the fear of divine punishment has never been demonstrated to make for better people, has it?

    Edited by - Patio34 on 8 September 2002 13:19:55

  • noidea
    noidea

    Patio.. Great post.. I have changed in that I am finally learning to love me for me and that anyone that wants to be a part of my life has to do the same. I have learned that life is to be lived and enjoyed now in the present. I will not wait on others to make me happy I am responsible for that. Life is what you make of it and if you are miserable in it then only you can change the outcome. If you rely on others then you will always be let down. People don't change so there is no point in wasting your life in waiting for them to. I find myself surrounded by friends and family that love me and I for once in my life look forward to waking up to whatever life brings me. Do I always get the things that I want? No, that's OK because with each day I am given something else and good or bad....I deal with it and wait for whatever it brings. Even if something appears bad at the time it can lead to something good so don't always look at the negative. I believe that people and things happen in your life for a reason. All bring us lessons and make us grow. ~Noi~

    Edited by - noidea on 8 September 2002 13:53:43

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    I've found that also. There aren't pervasive and invasive dictates on every situation in your life on how to act and react. Your own identify (good, bad, or indifferent!) can then flourish.

    Hi Pat,

    Actually this is not what I had in mind. The thing is, these identities have no inherent reality, for example you need a person - a good person, bad person or indifferent person and an ego to make that judgement. So as far as I'm concerned that doesn't truly qualify as an identity. You may experience those things in any given moment, (even if some moments are longer than others, it is nevertheless momentary) but that's just not what you are. Certainly we have conditioning that we didn't intentionally set into place through some nicely thought out story, but those aren't it either. It seems to me it's like some ex-JW's are so happy that their non-JW conditioning and motivational factors can come to the surface now they just go and have a ball with that. Well, that's fine, I just want to go farther than that. As far as I'm concerned, if you just clinging to all the non-JW things is not freedom at all, you're just hoping being caught up in every/any thing else will bring you happiness.

    I guess you could say that as far as I'm concerned, if you need an identity then the real you isn't really out of the closet yet. But of course, some people like to try on a lot of different clothes.

  • Scarlet
    Scarlet

    Amen Lady Lee.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Yeah. I used to wear a modest skirt, and carry a bookbag. Now I can wear jeans when I ride my horse instead.

    Country Girl

  • ISP
    ISP

    Not changed a lot here! Just not as gullible....

    ISP

  • patio34
    patio34

    That's funny Country Girl, I changed my clothing habits also. I used to buy clothes that I could wear to work and to meetings, but no more. It'll be a looooong time before I buy a dress or skirt LOL!

    Introspection, sorry I missed your point. It sounds complicated.

    Pat

  • waiting
    waiting

    Now in clothes I have changed!!!!!!

    My husband & I FINALLY addressed the issue of what to do with all those suits, dress shoes, skirts, dresses, ties, dress slacks............and the dreaded bookbags.

    As it's been 3 years since we wore any of them - I hauled them all off to the Salvation Army. Lol - jw's down south won't go to Salvation Army (religious organization helping the poor) - so all those dress clothes will probably end up at a Baptist Church.

    Since I wear jeans to work - and I work a lot, and wear jeans at home.....well, it seems that jeans are now my uniform. Must lose more weight.

    waiting

  • rocky220
    rocky220

    100% free from paranoia, low self-esteem, self-insecurity,self doubt, free from being judged by imperfect sinning human beings,free to live and enjoy true free will, which sadly Dubs have to give up in order to "be saved"and attain "eternal life".

    Rocky220

  • patio34
    patio34

    Hi ya Waiting! So true about the clothes. I hate dresses now--JWs have kinda ruined it for me (overkill and all). Just like my vocabulary--there's words I avoid like the plague: comment, encourage, enjoyed your comment, truth, etc.

    Hi Rocky220, that's a really good list (although I have a bit of different paranoia now--afraid I'll be outted. Sometimes I just want to da myself and get the damn thing over!) It's great not having to figure out why everyone's (that's not a JW) is wicked when they seem nice.

    Pat

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit