I am not, and never have been a JW. My interest in them started 1 year ago when I started to 'study'.
Going on to the internet, and searching ' Jehovah's Witnesses' led me to this board, (among others). I was shocked to read some of the horror stories about how people have been hurt by this company, ( as I found it to be). I became determined that I would make it my ' mission' to learn all that I could about the company and warn anyone that i could reach, about the consequences of joining this group. I obviously would not be good at counselling JWs or ex-JWs as I cannot relate to their experiences.
For quite a while I was a lurker, trying to get the mood of the board, and gaining an overall view, before I posted anything. I was here a long time before I went into chat!
Who/what am I, and why do I want to help people?
Short? Bio. (there is more much more)
I am a 49 year old husband/father/grandfather, and am on my 3 rd marriage. I was married ( with a ceremony) when I was 20, I was immature, in the army, and serving in Northern Ireland, I married the wrong girl, we were not suited and with being on the streets by day and the tension at home by night, after 8 months I ended up in an army mental institution, they called it nervous depression. Wife went home to mother, divorce followed. I was in depressed denial for a long time.
In 1976, no longer in the army, I met Pauline, we settled down together and she became the mother of my three children, she already had a two year old when we met. In January 1990, Pauline slipped on the ice and broke her leg, 1 month later I was away from the house taking the children to the school bus, when I returned and found her on the floor, I was breathing for her for 20 minutes till the ambulance came, but she was dead at the scene, (embolism). I screamed myself to sleep for a long time, but had to look at the good side (the children).
I could not live alone, so when I re-met a friend of ours, Denise, (we had moved from the area) we started a relationship (end of 1990) and she moved in with me, bringing her 2 year old son. For over two years after she moved in, I was terrified of her falling and watched her constantly when she was on the stairs, and when it was slippery out. She is still here, we have a good relationship
It does help, of course, that Denise was a friend of Pauline's, so that when I cry for Pauline (still) Denise understands.
In 1992 I became partially disabled and unable to work, and as I have always been active, slowing my life down to cope with the pain was very difficult, I also had to deal with the tremendous guilt of not being able to support my family and having to live off Denise. I have been in constant pain since.
For 3 years I was extremely depressed, feeling totally useless.
I then became interested in religion, and started going to various denominational churches to see what they had to offer, this is how the JWs come into the picture.
Back to the board.
I saw that there is a lot of information to be gathered here, also good links to other places, so I returned time and again, gathering information. I reasoned that in helping others, I could help myself (not useless anymore).
I eventually plucked up the courage to go into chat, for I saw that it would be helpful to me to meet the people for a hopefully greater understanding of the ex-JW situation.
That is where the problem lays.
Most of the time, when I turn up in chat, everyone leaves, other times the subject is between friends who have an knowledge of the subject/area being talked about, when I do comment, I am made to feel frozen out ( I have noticed that this happens a lot to certain others as well, so I do not feel singled out)
I wrote a piece some time back and I will include it here to illustrate how I feel.
THE PHOTOGRAPHER
There once was a man who lived in an area where he did not have many friends and, although the people he met on his daily walks were polite and friendly, there was very little communication apart from general chat about the weather and other such pleasantries.
Now this man had always had an interest in photography, and when his financial circumstances allowed, he bought a camera and various pieces of equipment. He bought what books he could afford, and also magazines, and began to study.
After some time he realised that, although he was learning a lot, he would need the company of other, more experienced photographers to progress so he looked around the area and located a PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB.
Going along to the club on their meeting night, he asked if it was ok to come in, and was told, All are welcome. This was great; this was what he had been looking for, people with a common interest, among whom he could find some friends so that they could support each other, and help each other with photography problems, and even other problems, when the strength of the friendship allowed.
During the meeting he noticed that all the people there were standing around in little groups, and hearing parts of their conversation he could not help but wonder why most of them were not talking about photography. He also wondered when someone was going to talk to him and encourage him to participate further in the club. He expected this because surely, if the club members did not encourage newcomers, then they would be put off, not join, and the club would surely die.
Having listened to a lecture by a professional photographer, the same little groups formed, and similar conversations ensued. Still no one spoke to the newcomer.
The man attended several meetings of the club over a period of time, always with the same results, so eventually, he stopped going because he came to the conclusion that.
WE HAVE OUR OWN FRIENDS, AND YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THEM.
Thank You All
And goodbye.
searcher.