Let the buyer beware!!!
First off, if her parents are good-standing JWs, they will not approve of you at all, no matter how nice you are. It doesn't matter. You are not a JW, and like everyone else who is not a JW, they believe you are evil and will be destroyed at Armageddon. And you are a threat to their daughter because you could drag her away from the religion, where she too will be destroyed.
You will either have to become a good-standing JW and prove yourself, or she will have to rebel against her parents and date you anyway, possibly leaving the JWs.
I knew a lot of JWs who had their "rebelious" period. Some started dating those outside the religion and where sort of the "bad kids", but stayed JWs. Some left the religion.
And you certainly have that hope that she'll leave. Let's say things go good and you end up in a long-term relationship and/or marriage. Great, but her family is still in. They will not stop working on her to come back.
I've seen it plenty of times. So many people leave the organization, but not on principle, but based on what seems fun at the time. Maybe they were smoking. Maybe it was for sex. Maybe for dating those outside the religion. Maybe they just didn't like the rules and strictness. The point is, their mind never really abandons the beliefs. Often times guilt resides in their minds. They feel they are sinning and need to return, but just can't do it right now. While they are young and having fun, the fun can erase a lot of guilt. But a few years later, they settle down and maybe start thinking about returning. And her family will be working on that too. Down the road, she could repent and rejoin and now you're the unbelieving mate. The one who persecutes her. The one she is now devoted to trying to save.
And something else concerns me. You said she wants to go to college and get piercings. Sounds like she wants to use you to get away from her parents.
Another interesting behavior trait I've seen among many JWs is to get married as soon as they are able. They are not allowed to date except with marriage in mind. And certainly not allowed to have sex. This is difficult when you're 18 and your hormones are raging. I believe many latch onto the first person they start a semi-serious relationship with and marry them - without getting to know them. This satisfies the urges and it also provides them something else. A chance to escape mom and dad. A lot of JWs don't like the strictness and long to be out on their own and see marriage as a legitimate way to gain this freedom or independence. Especially for a JW girl, this sometimes seems to be the way out. They are trained to be in subjection and don't like being in subjection to their parents and feel a mate will give them more freedom.
Make sure that if she does decide to date you two things are settled. First, make sure she learns that the JWs are not a true religion. She needs to become what they term "apostate". If she doesn't know the truth about JWs, she is in danger of returning when she feels guilty enough. And secondly, make sure she is not using you as a vehicle to rebel a little. You'll take her away and let her do all the things her parents wont. That's not the basis for a relationship.
-jws
Edited by - jws on 11 September 2002 21:19:32
