OH CR***********************p (page 3)

ISP

OK .......I know someone who took a burger back because when she checked to see what topping was on the burger....her attention was drawn to the toasted 'Nike' imprint on the bun! (it had been dropped and stood before being toasted)

ISP

abbagail

Ohhhh Myyyyyyy! And I almost passed up this thread. My guts are ACHING from laughing so hard, to the point of eyes watering! If one has to die, this is the way to go: Laughing one's head off! You guys are just toooo much, such quick wits!

LOL! @ "weeping and gnashing of teeth"! and

LOL! @ "spiritual food levitating back to the plate"! and

LOL! @ "sign of the end, food shortage and hunger"! and

LOL! @ the "dog eats good tonight"! and the "flying ham across the room"!

The waitressing stories I KNOW are true! Been there, done that. Those cooks are a breed all their own, aren't they? They are not about to start over from scratch.

Calamari? G-R-O-S-S! Like chewing on RUBBER.

The 10-second rule: I learned that from a CO once. I was horrified when he dropped a piece of candy or whatever it was, on the floor and bent down and picked it up and put it in his mouth. I said, "You're NOT going to eat that are you?" He said, "It wasn't down there LONG enough to get dirty," and winked! (I had never really thought about it that way before!)

Grits

Edited by - Grits on 11 September 2002 18:38:38

waiting

When my son was about 3, he used to have gum in his mouth constantly when we went out. I figured he was sneaking it out of my purse, no big deal.

We were walking down the street, when he divebombs down on the sidewalk, just scrappin' away.....at chewing gum.

After that, I watched the little bugger - when we'd eat out, he'd have his little hands just a-scratchin' under the edge of the table gettin ALL the good gum!

He was such a gross little kid.

waiting

breeze

Who F....ing cares

ISP

Thats cool Waiting...........the community clean up sprit was clearly there....that gum is so hard to get off the pavements ......sidewalks for the US inclined!

ISP

abbagail

Waiting: A-B-C Gum.
Already
Been
Chewed.

I would think the gum under the tables would be hard as a rock!
Never heard a story like that before! Gross is right! Did he survive? ;-)

Grits

LuckyLucy

*Lucy hands breeze a dollar ..to buy a new personality with a sense of humor*

breeze

Thanks...Lucy

I need both the dollar and the personallity...

BREEZE

I REPeat Who F...king cares.....???

SYN

How To Clean Calamari:

1. Defrost the squid. They usually come in a big ole block frozen really hard, so you kind of have to prize them away from each other. This is really fun!
2. Once the squid are sufficiently warm (i.e. still freezing cold, cold enough to make you see your breath when you blow on them and freeze your fingers, but malleable), place UNDER water. This is CRITICAL so that you don't get ink in your eyes or something.
3. First, apply a large amount of pressure to the squid to remove it's mouth from in between it's tentacles. The mouth takes quite a bit of effort to get off, and can be sharp, so watch out.
4. Once you've basically created this hole in the squid, pull it's tentacles off.
5. Remove the guts with your fingers from inside the squid. This is the squirty part.
6. Remove the squid's eyes. They're surprisingly tough for a sea creature! They have to be pulled off, and sometimes they can squirt too, which is why any smart calamari cleaner does all this under the surface of the water.
7. Turn the squid's body INSIDE OUT! I KID YOU NOT! You literally invert the body and clean off whatever guts and other fun internal organs remain.
8. Turn the squid (well, what's left of it ) inside out AGAIN, and remove the skin. By this point the skin should be soft enough to remove.

Now you can cut it up in rings and serve! I must say, today I don't mind calamari, but for YEARS I was unable to stand the sight of it!

Windchaser

When I lived in Tennessee and my little girl was a toddler, we used to use those sticky fly strips that hang from the ceiling and collect multitudes of flies. Apparently, one really full one came lose and fell to the floor. She was in her little circular walker and somehow managed to grab it and stick (and I mean stick) it into her mouth. It was so gross, having to pick off decomposing fly parts and sticky shit off my sweet little baby's face and tongue. She seemed happy through most of the ordeal, like it tasted good or something (she was accustomed to my cooking by then), until I scrubbed out her little mouth and face with a soapy washcloth.

This did not come under the ten-second rule safety code.

Edited by - windchaser on 11 September 2002 19:16:52

OH CR***********************p

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