Burning Bridges--a Bad, bad habit. (page 2)

twain30

You bring up an interesting topic. Getting out of the "Burning bridges behind you" mindset is something that I've had to fight against. There is a way to present something that we feel strongly about and at the same time allow another person to retain their dignity. You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar, that's something that most witnesses will never understand because of the we're 100% right and your 100% wrong mentality.

Matty

That's very true twain30 ! Although one of the reasons that I have had a relatively peaceful dub life so far is that I avoid confrontation at all costs. Other members of my family are the total opposite of me, when they consider that right is on their side, they will say exactly what they think, and will fight for it. The struggle for personal justice is always clear in their minds.

My attitude has meant that I haven't made too many enemies so far and am known as an easy going person. But the Watchtower now says that being easy going is wrong! But you can see my problem though can't you? This attitude is both dub and exdub-incompatible. There will come a time soon when there will be plenty of confrontation in my life, and I'm ill-equipped to handle it.

twain30

Re: Matty

Don't use the phrase, "Easy Going." Say that your mild, long-suffering, and slow to judge. Say that your a person who likes to take time to carefully gather all the facts before rendering an opinion. If someone says, "But its clear, such and such is the case, why don't you take a stand?"-Give a Neutral reply like, "I have to think about it" or, "I'm thinking of how best to deal with the issues presented" etc. etc. Build for yourself a reputation as one who is quick to listen and slow to judge. This is a hard position to knock!

P.S.-Aren't the word games silly?

Reborn2002

Burning Bridges
Written by: Garth Brooks, Stephanie Brown

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday she thanked me
For oilin' that front door
This morning when she wakes
She won't be thankful anymore
She'll never know how much I cared
Just that I couldn't stay
And I'll never know the reason
Why I always run away

Burning bridges one by one
What I'm doin' can't be undone
And I'm always hoping someday
I'm gonna stop this runnin' around
But every time the chance comes up
Another bridge goes down

Last night we talked of old times
Families and home towns
Whe wondered if we'd both agree
On where we'd settle down
And I told her that we'd cross that bridge
Whenever it arrived
Now through the flames I see her
Standin' on the other side

Burning bridges one by one
What I'm doin' can't be undone
And I'm always hoping someday
I'm gonna stop this runnin' around
But every time the chance comes up
Another bridge goes down

Like ashes on the water
I drift away in sorrow
Knowing that the day
My lesson's finally learned
I'll be standing at a river
Staring out across tomorrow
And the bridge I need to get there
Will be a bridge that I have burned

Burning bridges one by one
What I'm doin' can't be undone
And I'm always hoping someday
I'm gonna stop this runnin' around
But every time the chance comes up
Another bridge goes down

Another bridge goes down

Matty

Cheers twain30.

(Duck, Watchtower-style lingo coming!)

I think in these circumstances balance and a little forethought is the key!

LDH

Reborn, thanks for posting those lyrics. I'll have to listen to that song on the web... not familiar with it, but I like Garth so it should be good.

aaaaaahhhh, the flag issue. Faced (alone) on the first day of school. Other kids asking you, "Why don't you salute the flag?" It's not nearly as bad in Elementary School as it is in Middle School, and even worse in high school.

I really feel for those JW kids now, with all the Patriotic rhetoric going on now especially.

As JW kids we were isolated emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Getting out of this cult means there is a lot of work to be done. I saw the post yesterday, "Should I have a Christmas Tree?" ---I didn't even read the post, because my first thought was, "If you were a worldly never-been JW, would you have a tree? Well that's what you should do now."

The days of the MARTYR COMPLEX is done, y'all. NEWSFLASH no one is ever right one hundred percent of the time. Morality is not black and white as the WBTS would have you believe, it is shades of grey.

I have a close friend, XJW (actually DA'd) but has no coping mechanisms for this problem. This person was engaged to the Law Valedictorian of an Ivy League school, who was picked up by the biggest law firm in the country at a starting salary of $250,000 + perks BEFORE HE PASSED THE BAR.

Well, they did break up briefly but the last straw was that this law firm had been on corporate retainer for MCI for years, and with all the crap going on, MCI filed bankruptcy. This person was assigned as ONE of the attornies on the bankruptcy team. This so offended the XJW that it ended up being the last straw in the relationship breakup.

The XJW did not think UNDER any circumstances the execs should be allowed to make the legal maneuvering and certainly didn't feel they were entitled to representation because they had committed crimes against stockholders and the general public.

Now WHILE IN THOUGHT I tend to 'agree' with this person, it is ABSOLUTELY outrageous for this person to be so dogmatic as to not understand what it means to be on corporate retainer and to take the oath of attorney to protect clients, and not to understand how our legal system works. The simple fact, like my husband and I said, this attorney didn't want to do it either. BUT THERE WAS NO CHOICE. That 'moral' choice was removed when the law firm took on MCI as a client.

In this XJW mind "MCI bad! MCI Execs bad! Go jail now!!!" This is about how goddamn stupid this person sounded. Their defense was that they were 'sticking to their morals' and didn't want to be a 'corporate sellout' blah blah blah blah. The real truth was that they couldn't see that sometimes you have to suck it up and do your best job on something that you hate.

You XJWs reading this better recognise people will talk about you behind your back, and if you get a reputation as SOMEONE who is hard to deal with, your circle of friends will get smaller and smaller. Until you conclude that the WBTS is right, these worldly people all suck ass, and go running home to mommy. (WBTS)

I'll be back later to answer Beck's post.

Love,

Lisa

(PS, Danny that was very nice what you said)

DannyBear

Lisa,

That is why I would never hire a jw or exjw attorney. It has taken me over 20 yrs to get the preprogramed 'black and white' thinking out of my system. Can you imagine hiring your friend to defend you in a criminal action, even if your innocent?

Certainly no one has the exclusive on being judgemental, but the evidence is so glaring on these exjw discussion boards, that it is plain to see, we have not and probably never will be, totally free from 'watchtower think'. Iam going to keep trying tho.

Enjoying this thread Lisa.

Danny

BeautifulGarbage

Interesting Thread. I see this from a slightly different angle. XJW's struggle with knowing when to TAKE A STAND on a particular situation and issue.

Think about it. Especially those that were "born in it". Always we were told WHERE exactly we stood and what our opinion was. And some hard stands we have had to take. Of course, there always the good ole flag salute issue. As kids, being called traitors, unpatriotic, and communists. There was the stand we had to take on birthdays and holidays. The isolation and ridicule was painful, but we were right! And we were pleasing ~~God~~ Jehovah via the WTS. Oh yes, that warmed over spiritual food spoon fed to us directly from the stove of the "faithful and discreet slave".

Sooooo...blah blah blah...and we realize that the WTS is nothing more than a magazine company whose paper products are not even fit to wipe our a$$es.

Now what? WHAT in the heck do we think about "things" now?

When do we draw a line in the sand and when we do let it slide?

When do we speak out and when do we keep our mouths shut?

There ain't no paradise, anymore, and there ain't no second chances. So, if we screw up, we have to live it. No one is going to "fix" it for you in some other life.

And that is the journey we see so many on here are taking. Unfortunately, there is no "one size fits all" roadmap that leads people to become who they really are. We look to others to point out a path that they found to be scenic and passable. We may find "their" road to be bumpy and ultimately, it dead ends on us. So, we seek other paths to continue to grow beyond our WTS persona.

I guess I'm describing how to leave the nest and be a grown-up and make choices.

What was the topic again??? he he

Burning bridges! oh yeah...

Well, just think very carefully before you light your torch

Andee

DannyBear

Andee,

Remember that bumper sticker with an Eagle holding a snake in it's beak? The signature was DON'T TREAD ON ME! Or was it a snake with an eagle in his mouth?? :)

I would add the caviat, 'don't tread on me or any of my friends or family' as a pretty close to home way to decide when and where to take a stand.

Having spent half my life under the vile 'jackboots' of the WTBS storm trooper's...The Governing Body and all its Representitives....Once freed, making decisions for myself became a joy. Not having to second guess, or anguish over what 'jehovah' or 'his organization' would think about every little twist or turn in lifes path. Iam sure everyone who breaks free, experiences the same to one degree or another. For me, it was very heady. Even if I make a huge blunder someday, it will be my choice, my consequences.

Danny

blondie

I find it good not to burn my bridges while I am still standing on them.

Burning Bridges--a Bad, bad habit.

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