For Nina, Hi there NJ...long time no talk. I logged on for the first time in months and saw your post, so I'll respond to it here if you don't mind.
I don't remember the exact circumstances of what led me to post this, but I do remember thinking "How childish!!!" I see lots of JWs behave as though they are emotional 4th or 5th graders, because no one has taught them how to behave otherwise. Personal decision making is of no value or use whatsoever in WT land, and so if you don't use it, you lose it. There are now lots of adult XJWs trying to figure out how to be normal...whatever that means.
If you are struggling with this, you should ask a worldly person that you respect to serve as your mentor on decision making until you're comfortable with it. Let them know that you are trying to un-brainwash yourself and need some input from them. Lots will be happy to help you.
Lisa
Running through Class