Am I the only 'fruit cake" here?

by Marilyn 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  Beck_Melbourne

  Marilyn

  I have to admit that I was feeling rather bugged by the idea that the assembly and KH scene was so moving for me. I even discussed this with a few fellow apsotates, btw, when did you get back from overseas??

  I found the show to be of a very high standard...in fact my ex was in Melbourne at the time it was shown here, and he is normally very ANTI anything that is or could be apostate, and yet he watched the whole program. He told the kids that he wanted to see what lies were being spread about Jehovah's people. They said he watched the whole show in silence, and was slightly disturbed at what he saw....he then sat the kids down and asked them if anything of an abuse nature had ever happened to them. So although he treats anti-jw themes with caution, he still believed this abuse happened or does happen. I secretly felt a small victory....it wasn't much....but it was a lot for a man like him. I wonder how many more it affected the same way....even if a small seed of doubt can be sown. Overall, it was a great show.

  Beck
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  refiners fire

  Marilyn. Cut to the first scene. All those dubbies singing "lets be like Jeremiah". I just switched straight into the mode. All the old responses. I almost stood up and started singing. A friend of mine told me once that the emotions instilled into you by the cult. The fears, guilts and ecstacies cannot be attained in run of the mill existance. Ordinary day to day life as experienced by Joe Bloggs over the road. Theres a part of me that still yearns for the drama , of those bygone days.
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  plmkrzy

  I do. Only once in a while though. Assemblies use to make me want to "realy" go back in the sense of "going back" you know like "with the heart involved" lol

  Being born and raised in it is extreemely difficult to break away and I found it more difficult to look at other religions as "normal" in the sense that there could only be ONE real true religion. plah. Thats a hard mold to break

  On the other hand

  I am polite and let them get about 5 words out

  5 hole words? Thats a lot in my books. LOL. I run into them a lot on the street. They stand on corners and in front of stores in poor neighborhoods and hand out leaflets to pedestrians. When ever I get out of my car and start to walk into a store and they're there, I kringe. I know they are waiting for me to get close enough and then WHAM pounce. hahahaha. well maybe not pounce but it feels that way sometimes.

  They don't even get 2 words out before I say No thankyou and keep walking.

  I use to feel guilty for that but I don't anymore. I didn't tell them to do that.
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  gumby

  I still feel guilty when I am around dubs........Why?

  My whole family is in except two sisters. When I get around my daughter and her husband I still feel like the culprit. I.....caused the division.....I.....was the one who caused the problems we now have. It was ME.... who could have it back the way it was.

  Even though I know 100% they are a destructive cult that seperates families and they have caused unhappiness in millions of lives.......I still feel guilty.

  I know they all love me and want me back "in". That makes it worse. In spite of all this, I feel victorious in sticking to my guns as to what I know is real truth about them.
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  Marilyn

  <<<<<<<<I still feel guilty when I am around dubs........Why?>>>>>>>>>>>

  Truly I say unto you today. This too will pass. (not truly I say unto you. today this too will pass)

  Seriously gumby, you will get over the guilt thing eventually. I have suffered from this too. Only because the dubs made our family's life so difficult for many, many years. Actually I believe in my heart that my mother now has cancer because of all the pain she went thru when I was disfed. So is it my fault she has cancer? My fault for waking up to a corrupt and dishonest religion?

  It's no ones fault and no one is guilty. They don't know what they are doing and sadly it's just the way things are.

  Beck: Good about the ex taking in the program. I got back last Thursday. So watched the program on the weekend. Yes it was excellent.