Shall I go to the meeting? Would you?

by KateWild 57 Replies latest jw experiences

  • KateWild
    KateWild
    I say stick to your guns and your own hard won principles and standards, if you can, stay away.- Slidin Fast

    Yes that seems the consensus of the thread so far

    Kate xx

  • tiki
    tiki
    Stay away Kate...nothing good can come of it....you'll just get yourself all riled up and discombobulated....support your friends by normal functional means.
  • flipper
    flipper

    KATE- Of course it's totally your decision to make-none of us can make that decision for you- however since you asked - I truly believe that many ex-JW's , some on this board even- may underestimate the POWER of cult mind control. If a person decides to sit in the atmosphere of hearing the catch phrases, the WT doctrines, and mind manipulation information coming off the platform- THAT is what can happen- mind control, mind manipulation and possibly re-indoctrination. It's not just a mind control thing ; it's a physiological change that occurs inside a persons brain neurotransmitters when this information comes into our minds. Our nerve or neurotransmitters over many years of JW indoctrination made familiar or common pathways through our mind that became WAY too familiar ( one reason it's hard for JW's to look at ANY other viewpoints their brains are blazed or branded with this neurotransmitter thought process. )

    After not attending meetings for 2 years and reading other non-JW information your mind has made NEW neurotransmitter pathways helping you to think critically and broaden your thought processes - if you go BACK and even unwittingly listen or hear that WT jargon coming over the platform it WILL seep into those old pathways into your brain ; even a small amount might affect the way your mind operates. I know this might sound corny to you- but I'm serious. There's been a lot of research by scientists and sociologists on this so caution is the word here. Do you really want to put your mind jumping through all these hoops ? And what kind of message does it send to your adult daughter ? That possibly mom can't make her mind up ? I don't know - I agree with the others that there are other means to assist DFed ones you care about than playing the WT game of going back to meetings sitting with them to assist them to come back. I don't think it's a good idea- but it's your life and your decision. Just being honest and letting you know the dangers. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    Going along to a meeting with another DFed person is only reconfirming to them that this is the appropriate thing for both of you to do. What this person needs is a guiding hand to show just how damaging it is being involved with this cult from a human sociological perspective.

    You can show the calculating lies this organization (Publishing house) had built itself upon as a start.

    The WTS states that you and everyone else in the world needs to be in their organization to live a wholesome sincere lifestyle that is beneficial for not only a individual but all of humanity .

    This is a very false and ignorant assertion by the WTS. that is part of its own inherent corruption.

  • tim3l0rd
    tim3l0rd

    If you go back with your friend, make sure they know that you're going for them and that you do not support anything related to JWs. Otherwise, as others have stated, they may take your presence as your endorsement of JW things.

    If you can't be that open with your friend because she may shut you out, I'd make sure to point out the logical errors in the WTs and talks during the meeting. This may help your friend start thinking. If someone says that the world conditions are getting worse, google it and show your friend how conditions are actually improving.

    If you really believe you can help your friend, it would be worth it. Just don't get sucked in or cause yourself too much mental stress.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Hi Sam, the words 'dog' and 'vomit' immediately spring to mind.

    I have a great friend who is Catholic and who once loved alcohol too much. I went with him to A.A. meetings, take him for McDonald's, take him for drives - but I never took him to a pub.

    I genuinely detest walking into the K.H. for my monthly "cover" visit - principally because of the Brooklyn-composed indoctrination classes, but also because I know that I am "dead" to 95% of the congregation because I'm "inactive". It's not a loving atmosphere to inflict upon yourself.

  • Laika
    Laika
    Hi Kate, nice to hear from you! I would not go back, you only create the impression that you really want to go back and must therefore believe. I don't think you want that...
  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway

    I agree with fikelstein, it reinforces to them 'see, people are miserable who leave, and she wants to come back in her heart!'

    You are meeting with your friend for lunch. I would be totally honest with your friend (but gently. Not brutally honest.) tell her gently that you have done research, and the truth should be able to stand up to research if it's the truth.

  • Finkelstein
    Finkelstein

    Being a bit tacfull is good advise particularly if that individual still has deep ingrained mental attachment with the Borg.

    The deep indoctrination that the WTS infuses into peoples consciousness can not be over looked lightly.

    Remember part of that deep indoctrination also contains putting up a solid thick wall around the WTS teachings,

    propagated by using fear and ignorance.

    Mix the conversation with secular concerns about family and personal things.

  • under the radar
    under the radar

    Hi Kate. I think Flipper is onto something. He's absolutely right that it's your decision and yours alone to make. But may I offer three things to consider?

    (1) If you go back to meetings, even just few, or even just to give a little comfort and support to a friend, it could set you back emotionally and psychologically. Can you risk that at this point?

    (2) It might send the wrong message to your precious children. It might seem to say that you're not really sure about the Society and your decision to leave. It could be confusing to them, especially your son, and undermine all you've done to show them it's a mind-controlling cult masquerading as the "true religion." If word does get back to your ex, you can be sure he'll twist the circumstances and use it to undermine and discredit you personally.

    (3) If you and your friend sit together at the meeting, it's entirely possible that you both will be counseled that associating with a disfellowshipped person, even if you're disfellowshipped yourself, is "bad association" and will hinder (if not prevent) your being considered for reinstatement. Ridiculous and petty, but true. If your friend is serious about being reinstated, this could ruin your friendship. She may choose to shun you in order to appear more righteous and repentant to the Elders™. It has happened before, believe me.

    Several have suggested that you meet with her in a casual setting away from the Kingdom Hall. I think that's a great idea. You'll both feel freer to express what you're really thinking, and be able to visit and talk unconstrained by the fear that candid comments might come back to haunt you.

    Whatever you decide, good luck to you. And congratulations on reestablishing contact with your friend.

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