No Regrets,

by Englishman 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien.

    Mr. Moe has said that she doesn't want to enter her 50's (that's about 25 years off, BTW) and look back on her life with a feeling of regret.

    Relax, you probably won't!

    You see, I have made the most apalling mistakes in my life. Some real mega cock-ups. Yet this is very little that I have done or not done that I rue. The reason being that sometimes you have to actually do a thing to realise that you shouldn't do it!

    And, one learns by one's mistakes.

    For example, I'm absolutely devoted to Her Ladyship, but it took the experience of an unhappy marriage prior to that to make sure that I appreciate what I have now.

    I run a succesful little business that requires a high degree of physical fitness, but if I had not flunked a grammar school education I could well have been yet another stressed executive. (I could still do with dropping a few pounds though)

    My personal mission as an ex-JW is to show ex's and would-be leavers that it is perfectly feasible to enjoy life without religion. If I had not chosen to be a JW once myself, then I could not do this.

    Of course, I have been very fortunate compared to some. I'm sure that victims of crime and abuse will always have a profound sorrow over their experiences, but then we are talking about events over which they had no control.

    What do you think, should we regret our bad choices or rejoice in the experience of them?

    Englishman.

  • mamashel
    mamashel

    Englishman, very good post. I do believe that we should rejoice in the experience of bad decisions and mistakes. Life is full of them, and we will probably still make some more along the way. I am the same way you are in my marriage, i had to have a bad one first to appreciate the one i have now. He is the love of my life. As far as religion, i think i am burnt out on organized religion, and just want to enjoy life for once. I can honestly say i was one of those jw's that got baptized to please a family member and my heart wasnt in it, so therefore i was never realy happy as a witness, so now we are just trying to have lots of fun with the kids.

    Live and learn, thats my motto!

    mamashel

  • ashitaka
    ashitaka

    I think regretting bad choices only comes into play if we hurt other people who we still want to love and have a relationship with, otherwise I think you're right on the ball.

    ash

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    What do you think, should we regret our bad choices or rejoice in the experience of them?

    Englishman,

    You make some excellent points in your post. I have to agree with you. We should rejoice in our experience of life. I think that if we are to survive with a happy disposition, that there is no other way to look at it.

    Great post, BTW. Thank you for sharing.

    Love,

    Robyn

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    Well said Ashitaka

    I only regret the hurts I've caused, which were unintentional, for the most part. But even those I've learned from and each experience has taught me what NOT to do in future relationships. I do wish that I could go back and change some things, but I don't waste much time or emotion on regretting things that I cannot now do anything about.

    Good post Eman, life is all about the learning hey?

    Dana

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Good morning E-Man: I have some regrets, but life goes on. I have not read what Mr.Moe stated, yet I can say that fear of the consequences and fear of guilt are far worse that the actual consequences involved. I have some regret that I spent 25 years as a JW when I could have been doing other things ... I could have been doing time in jail ... I could have gone into the Army and been killed or severly injured in Viet Nam (The Army wouldn't have taken me anyway since I had asthma) ...

    I have many more things that I do not regret, rather, I am proud of. In spite of the JW religion, I had a beautiful wonderful wife and mother of my children. I have four fantastic children, and likewise five grandchildren that I would not trade for the world and would not have had had I not been a JW. I enjoyed an excellent engineering career even though a JW ... and inside the JWs I met some really great people whom I still love and care about ... the only regret is that for the forseeable future I cannot communicate with them, or better stated they choose not to communicate with me ...

    ... yet, now I have a far closer and more appreciative relationship with my non-JW relatives and life-long friends, a relationship that would not be as well defined, clear, and close had I not forsaken them for 25 years to serve the Governing Body ... well, I did not totally forsake them all, because I managed to justify some association with them ...

    I regret the loss of time ... there is no changing that ... but, the time that remains, I treasure far more than I would otherwise. Then there are folks who spent 50 years in the religion, and so I thank my higher power, whomever she/he/it might or might not be that I only lost 25 years ... cause that extra quarter century does give me an edge ... so to speak.

    I like the song by Frank Sanatra ... " ... as for regrets, I've had a few, but I still did it my waaaay ... "

    Edited by - Amazing on 9 October 2002 8:25:54

  • Dia
    Dia

    For the record, I didn't set foot in ANY church for 12 years after leaving JWs. Then, it was probably about another many feet in many churches for several many years before I finally found a place where I feel 'home'. Like I am worshipping in community with other, like-minded individuals.

    Life is a journey. Faith is a journey.

    God is always with you and God always listens to prayer.

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    I think the only reason to feel "regret" is if you plan on doing something to correct the situation. That isn't always possible, but I think the one thing you learn in life is "to forgive yourself".

    Hey, I feel a Frank Sinatra song coming on - "regrets, I've had a few"

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Hey Amazing - lol we think alike (albeit I'm humbled to think I had the same thought as Amazing!!!!)

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Hi Pettygrudger: There is a saying that "Great minds think alike" ... but you are a step up from me because you correctly spelled "Sinatra" ...

    Edited by - Amazing on 9 October 2002 8:29:45

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