No Regrets,

by Englishman 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Vivamus

  I feel very little regrets. I have made some bad decisions in my life, but I made them in honesty, based on my knowledge of the time and my convictions of the time. Some have proven to be wrong, but I can't blame myself for it, since I made those descisions in sincerity.

  I regret some of the things I did, namely things I did, while knowing fully well at the time of action, that it was wrong.

  But, he who spends his life looking back, will never make any progress. Live life in the NOW, own This day, and not be worried about the days in the past.
• 

  Englishman

  Vivamus,

  Some years back, when I was still vulnerable to the nonesense of guilt, I read a book from the library that deals exclusively with the subject, although I'm damned if I can recall it's title.

  I recall a couple of good points, one was that we should accept "Useful remorse". As it's name suggests, useful remorse prods us into making the changes in our lives so as we don't make the same mistake again. Once we have made the change, the remorse ceases to be "useful". Now we must dump the remorse, if we don't, it turns to guilt which just gnaws away at our very soul.

  The other thing that intrigued me was that people can actually feel guilty about feeling guilty, and consequently beat themselves up all the time as a result.

  Englishman.
• 

  Witch Child

  Hello Englishman,

  great post! I am in agreement with you on this. My feeling is that I needed those bad relationships so I would be ready to appreciate my Sweet Vampire when he came along and he needed to go through his bad relationships so he could appreciate me.

  ~Witch
• 

  cruzanheart

  "What does not kill us makes us strong." Sure, there are plenty of bad experiences I would have loved to avoid, but it's what you learn from them that makes them valuable. Nothing in life goes to waste unless you let it.

  I am, however, reminded of a wonderful line from a Peter Cook/Dudley Moore SNL skit: "Of course I learned from my mistakes. I can repeat them EXACTLY." Or something like that.

  Nina
• 

  Lady Lee

  I'm with you E-man

  My experiences are what make me uniquely ME. I too have made mistakes. Who hasn't? But I make the choice to learn from them and grow. I share my experience with others to perhaps help a few who need to know and could benefit from my experience

  And then I go out to find more learning experiences
• 

  Dutchie

  Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien.

  My favorite Edith Piaf song. I agree with its sentiments wholeheartedly.
• 

  butalbee

  There's no sense for regret--you can't turn back the clock and change things. All that matters is the present and the future--learn from your mistakes, grieve for your losses, then stand up and move forward.
• 

  BeautifulGarbage

  Englishman and to so much great input on this thread!

  Here, here!

  Clap, clap!

  And

  Me too!

  Andee

  Edited by - BeautifulGarbage on 9 October 2002 12:26:48
• 

  MegaDude

  I think if you have learned to be happy or are happy (for whatever reason) then it's fairly easy to say "I have no regrets and no guilt." However, if you are unhappy in your life (for whatever reason) then it is easy to feel remorseful or regretful about past mistakes and how they contributed to your unhappiness at the present.

  Which is why I always say, living well is the best revenge. Always look forward, never backward.
• 

  tranquility

  So many good sentiments in this thread!!

  I have made some very poor choices along the way as well. I have learned something from each and every one of them though. To say I regret my choices, indicates that I would do something differently given the opportunity. In some cases I would, but I like who I've become, which is what is important. What I would change is the hurt and pain that was associated with some of my decisions.