This is an interesting question.
I was sliding away really good and making all kinds of excuses right and left to my mother and other friends as to why I wasn't attending meetings, going in service, and not accepting any MS assignments. Their phone calls were an annoyance more than anything, but there were never any shepherding calls. What really started the whole process, is that my mother would not let it rest. She wanted me punnished for "thinking and behaving independently" of the organization. She sent me a letter with ten questions, and I knew when I answered them and mailed the letter, she would give it to the overseer. So, I decided to write two DA letters. One to the Society in NY, and one to the local congregation. I received no reply to either one of them. I was never sent a letter advising me a hearing. Absolutely nothing.
(Months later, four elders came by to see me and tell me that I was always welcome at the meetings wholeheartedly. They felt bad about how things had gone down with me. They tried to get me to implicate my mother for acting inappropriately, but I would not.)
Still, it made me feel good to let them know that I was the one disassociating myself from them. And, it wasn't so I could go and "sin", it was because I didn't believe they taught "the truth".
As far as I know, there was never any announcement in the congregation. My mother spread the word around and I lost all my closest friends out of their "fear" of me. She began shunning me once I replied to her ten question letter to me. Guess she didn't like my answers. Funny, she didn't call me and ask me in person, because we only lived two miles apart.
I have absolutely no regrets doing what I did. I left them before they could effectively try to discipline me simply for being inactive. I did not want there to be any confusion as to why I was inactive. What hurt the most was the stand that my mother took. The way she ruined my reputation among the friends in the congregation, and then everyone else just cut me off. I figured that they were just reacting that way because they lived in fear of me being an apostate. It was a great loss.
It's a personal decision. You have been "out" so long, it is probably more of a formality than anything else. If they have left you alone, they know you are out. If you want to make certain they know why you are out, of course you can let them know.
Even though I "left" in 1981, and wrote my letters, true closure never came for me until the very last part of 2001. I was out, and for all the right reasons, but I was still severely emotionally damaged. I carried that burden for a very long time.
You will have to let us know what you decide. My thoughts are with you and yours.
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