AGuest - Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings and your concern. I look back on these events with a wry amusement. They no longer influence my approach to spiritual matters. I broke free from my mooring a long time ago.
You know that I totally understand, dear Glad... and, as always, wish you love... and peace. Truly.
I guess if you want to partake at the KH you can. I have to decide for myself.
Absolutely, dear Data (again, peace to you!). No one can tell another how to handle this... as we don't belong to one another, but to Christ, and it is up to HIM. All we can do is share what we do... and why, so that others can understand if they wish to.
I consider it a false religious celebration as JW's celebrate it.
You are not alone. Some consider it "eating from the table of demons." I don't... because I discern it as the flesh and blood of Christ, who could never be a demon (as most consider that connotation). Thus, I can do it among them, as well as among others who might do so. So long as *I* know what *I* am doing... and WHY... and that the bread and wine truly REPRESENT... then MY conscience is clear.
Maybe I am being too judgemental?
I don't think so. I think you are going with what your conscience allows... and not doing what it doesn't. Now, can your conscience change? Absolutely. However, until it does, you most probably should NOT go against it. Christ cleanses our consciences, dear one, so if HE wishes yours to change on the matter, he will see to it. If you are curious as to whether it SHOULD... then I would say just simply ASK him. And then listen to and put faith in his response to YOU on the matter. So long as what you hear resides in LOVE... then there is no law against it!
I just don't want to act like I approve of it.
Absolutely understood. Of it... or them. I approve of neither (well, their teachings and compulsions, their mysteries surrounding the anointing, who should and should not, the fake pomp... and certainly not who they claim to be and represent, or any of their teachings about that). BUT... there are still sheep in that city; our Lord has not called them all out, yet. And so I kind of feel like the formerly chained man in Plato's "Allegory of a Cave": once a person has been set free... do they continue on up to the light... or do they go back and try to enlightened their former fellow captives? Especially if there's no danger to the one now free... and only the illusion of danger to the ones still captive, based on their fear of the unknown... why NOT?
Maybe I will get this all worked out by next year.
No doubt you will. And if not, perhaps the year after. Again, YOU have to be "okay" with where YOU are and what YOU do.
My wife flipped out when I told her. I wish I never would have said anything to anyone. That way I could just partake privately and be left alone..
Ahhhh... yes. Difficult that. May I suggest you share with her John 6:48-58, and then ask her how, in light of Christ's words in verses 51-53, SHE intends to live forever? Ask her how she believes the teachings of the WTBTS are going to save her, give her life "within herself"... when Christ said that UNLESS ones eats is flesh and drinks his blood, they have NO life... within themselves? Because HE is the life... and there is NO other way to come BEFORE the Father, not EVEN through some self-appointed "faithful and discreet slave"? (John 14:6) And those who try to get in WITHOUT going through HIM... are "thieves and plunderers" and breaking in where they have NO right to be? (John 10:1-9)
I hope this helps, dear one, and again, peace to you!
Your servant and a slave of Christ,
SA