by LB 44 Replies latest jw friends
Hello LB and Mrs. LB! I have been traveling quite a bit lately and am just now catching up on the board. Sabine and I wish you both the best, and like the other folks applaud your pointed and personal letter.
It was wonderful meeting you both - we would be happy to meet with your son anytime. Whatever we can do to help we will. Looking forward to seeing you again soon.
Keep us posted!
((((hugs)))
Mak and Sabine
Hi LB,
I thought about writing "I quit" but it got a little wordier than I expected. But I'm sending this off monday morning. I've used a little info gathered here on this site but mostly it's my thoughts.
Pop over to my web site and read my two letters. I sent the first one out to 70 of my old JW friends. The second one was my response to the elders inviting me to meet with them to face charges of apostacy.
http://home.attbi.com/~docbob1
Edited by - Docbob on 27 October 2002 15:9:50
Doc,
Wanted to read your letter's, but all I got was a web page, with family names and a link to your email.
Danny
I appreciate all the imput. It's making sending this letter off that much easier.
But Doc after sending in a DA letter they still wanted to meet with you? I honestly never considered that that would happen. I figured once I DAed myself that it was just be over with. More crap on the horizon?? That's OK, I'll handle it.
I can't get into your page either Doc.
LB-
That is one damn good letter. I wish I could be so eloquent.
One thought -- this is anal as hell, but then that is how jws are -- You mentioned losing the affection of your son:
The jw line regarding shunning is that he loves you as much as he always has -- there has been no loss of affection. But, just as with a beloved family member whose behavior becomes intolerable (perhaps stealing from family members to support a drug habit that has made them mentally and emotionally disturbed), it is reasonable to not spend any more time with that family member than absolutely necessary. This does not mean that that there is any less affection. It is simpley choosing to not associate with someone whose lifestyle is incompatible with your own.
I think many jws would be surprised at the idea that your son would might lose affection for you. When I was still in, it would not have occured to me that my feelings towards a person change because they are disfellowshipped, only my behavior would change. Of course, I hardley knew the meaning of affection, much less how to express such an emotion. Unfortunately, many jws are developmentaly disabled in feeling love and affection.
And I love the idea of sending it to the r/f before sending it to the elders.
queereality
P.S. Diving in Monterey?? That's where I went to finish my diving class. How is the visibility this time of year? I hope you have lots of fun.
Hey LB,
I myself though the info. in the newer Km would have a big impact on my dub family as to how they would now treat me....it didn't. I was surprised I must say. This was just a rehash of the Sept 83 W.
Hopefully your son will not be influenced by others in this matter........especially Frank. Frank might just keep his mouth shut and have someone else do his dirty work for him as a get back at you though.
I doubt that you can win anything in court over this as there are countless ones who try and lose......it's the freedom of religion thing. However......you can scare the shit out of some people and make them think about this a little harder.
Good Luck, and Niiiiiiiice job!
Gumby
LB, you don't even have to give them a letter. WildTurkey and I d/a ourselves over the phone. The elder had another elder on the other end and told us so. We both got on the phone and told them that we no longer wanted to be assoicated with being witness and this was our notice that we wish to be disassociated. They never asked us to think on it, they will call back in the morning, it was late at night when they called. For all they know someone could have died and we were having a bad day. They wanted us out and never asked us are you sure you wanted to do this. It was like of , thanks goodbye. Cold hearted bastards. I wrote a thread about it awhile back,,,,,,,,,, It lasted on three minutes........ something like that. No joke it was over in a flash.
I am glad they don't have a letter on file from us. I wish I had everything in that file cabinet that had my name on it.
We d/a ourselves because we said there will never be another meeting. Remember you don' t have to play by their little rules anymore. No meetings, no questions, here is my letter and goodbye.
Oh, and WildTurkey told him he was not d/a himself from the "friends" or Jesus, just he organizaiton. And if he hears otherwise and finds out who says slanderous things about him , legal action will happen.
I agree, I doubt I could actually win a lawsuit over this matter. But they know I can afford to drag each of them through the legal system. We know they can't personally afford to fight me on this matter. If they are half as smart as I think they are, they'll just make an announcement and let it go.
I am playing by their rules to be sure. But it allows me to be the bad guy while allowing my poor long suffering wife to just be inactive. This will keep some form of communication open with our son regardless of what else goes down. Of course if by some chance the house is lit up with Christmas lights this year they'll be blaming me as I would be forcing my poor long suffering wife to endure all the brightness.
This visablity in Monterey is very good this time of year usually. No storms yet to stir up the bottom yet cool enough for any alge to have died back. I'll try to bring back some pics of the trip.
Wanted to read your letter's, but all I got was a web page, with family names and a link to your email.
Sorry, I need to learn to type. I left the "1" off the original post, which I have edited.
LB, I didn't send a DA letter. I am neither DFd nor DAd. I didn't want to play by their rules. As I explained in my letters, I see no scriptural precedent for DAing. Also, I never got anything in writing saying I was a member of anything, why should I resign in writing?
After I sent that second letter in late December of 1999, I have not heard from them. I do get shunned though. :O
LB,
I, too, think it's a great DA letter.
But, yes, I delivered mine around to all the elders' homes, and they still called, asked for a meeting, had a meeting about my letter while I waited for that meeting, etc., etc. However, 1 week later I was gone-gone. Called the PO and said, forget any delays, reconsiderations, etc., just let me go. So he explained if I ever wanted to return (hunh?) I would have to jump through (my words, not his ) the same hoops a DF'd person would. Then I asked him to let me know the announcement date, and I went to the hall and walked out smiling once it was made. I enjoyed that.
Oh, and as a long-suffering wife of a non-JW mate who celebrated the holidays with our kids, you are right that the "headship principle" is wonderful cover for her doing what she wants while she remains inactive.
Oh! and mailing the letter to friends 2 days before sending it to the elders? Brilliant (Path)!
outnfree
