by Judas Maccabee 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Hang in there buddy. Lean on your parents for support and advice. Don't be in a hurry to do something you will regret later. Cool off, calm down, think things through clearly and then make decisions. Your wife might be suffering from anxiety attacks, depression or stress/trauma from the religion. Maybe get her to see a counselor to help her and your marriage out?
I hope everything works out for you.
Ditch the bitch!
just saying!
eyeuse2badub
Welcome JM!
Going by what you said your wife is now showing her true colors as a self identifying J.W. without any of the works associated with being an active Witness.
If you have discovered TTATT and have no real friends or family members still in you can simply stop associating. No 'privileges', No FS, N0 attendance. If asked simply tell the truth........the conduct of a particular Elder has stumbled you and you are now considering joining a difference Congregation or taking a break from meetings.
Don't discuss doctrine with any active JW never with your wife.
As far as your wife goes.......and if she's as nasty as you claim....... then I don't see this marriage surviving. You have three choices......... endure........... seek marriage counseling together..........or contact a divorce attorney and prepare the way to undo what you now feel was a serious mistake. Staying in a toxic relationship is both distressing and harmful.
Believe it or not the JW'S have the same divorce rate as any other group........ 14% according to a Pew survey.
The suggestion to use the option of the incognito window or to 'clear your Browsing Data' every time you visit a site you don't want your wife to know about is a must for any person fading.
Welcome Judas
Don't let your wife drive you to poverty. You need a woman that will work "With You" not against you. You know there are billions of women out there to choose from right? And some real good ones that have the same goals as you.
And wasn't Judas in charge of the money box?
Welcome J.M.
Your first priority is to keep your mouth shut about the Org when talking to your wife. She will stab you in the back! Secondly, if she thinks she's married a "weak man", prove her wrong by sitting down and calmly explaining that if she doesn't want to work, then she has to learn to live within your household budget.
You have to set the rules, and if she doesn't like them and refuses to accept them, get ready for lies and more accusations being made to the elders about you. Tip: record what you say to her (at all times!) and keep it for future reference, because it sounds like you are in for a very hard time from her - if you don't protect yourself.
Begin your gradual fade, then the idiot's who are getting away with things won't bother you anymore, because you are no longer living in their world.
All the best.
I'll bet your boss "picks on you" and your co-workers are "jerks" and your family "hates you" too
there are lots of cry babies out there
man up, nobody cares
@wallsofjericho:
There are a lot of negative people out there.
You talk like one of them.
Don't be such an ar$e dude!
Lighten up. Enlighten up!
So sorry, Judas, it is very hard to see hypocrisy in something you've dedicated your life to, and even harder when your mate is not there to stand by your side.
Take some time to focus on yourself, sort through things.
It is absolutely maddening when people (no matter what religion) act as if they are "owed" everything.
Marriage is suppose to be a partnership...... is yours? Personally, over all the years I have lived, and all the struggling I have seen, I would advise: Take a good look at your life, your plus's and your minuses.
Have you talked with your parents? Get all the information you can (talk to a divorce attorney "How much will it cost me to divorce her? when will alimony stop? Does it matter who leaves the house? (I had a friend, left her abusive husband, moved out before the attorney, didn't get a GOOD attorney, and lost all her $$ she put into the house, boom!) "If she initiates the divorce, what will it mean for me financially?" She may be one of those people who just HOPE you will divorce her so she gets 'set for life'... Get all those questions answered. Be smart!)
I agree, WAIT, assimilate, cool down... don't make quick decisions.
I also agree with not wasting your life on false promises, you will regret it.
All of us have us have been disturbed by the duplicitous words and actions of the WT & people within. Their 'magic' get out of jail free card, "Wait on Jehovah," allows them to continue in their unethical shenanigans. Why would a God of love do that? Jesus threw the money changers OUT of the temple, right?
It is not just "in your congregation," as it was "not just in mine", but these people (like that elder Joe you mentioned) exist everywhere.... The same type of guy was in my hall... Say something nice to you, turn your back, he'd laugh and say something disparaging to the guy next to him and laugh.
People with money were allowed more wriggle room than others, and only as I left was I able to discover what a shallow world the "Society" was. "Can I make money from this?" OK, do it... "Does it stop me from making money?" OK, stop it. What you say or write to NY is of no consequence unless it stops their $$ flow.
Hannah Arendt
@Judas Maccabee:
I hope you notice there's a lot of encouraging comments and a lot of wise words for you from many members of the forum. I second their good thoughts and urge you to not lose your cool and get good advice from your parents, they seem like they're awake to the nonsense of the WT religion.
Also, don't pay attention to the ney-sayers like this Wallsofjerk, I mean Jericho, he's sounding like he needs to grow a pair of real cojones. His overposturing seems like a sign of a latent inferiority complex. Just sayin'.
