Is there something at most people know that I dont

by gilwarrior 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Kingpawn
    Kingpawn

    gilwarrior,

    going to be an exJW meeting here in Las Vegas, but it was cancelled because not enough people signed up. Great!

    It's harder during times other than summer, I think, to get enough people to meet. It goes against conventional wisdom, but in summer we're more out and about, wanting to socialize and not be stuck in the house.

    but I just can't read people!

    It's not easy and it's not infallible. Even psychologists and psychiatrists can't do it all the time. Otherwise nobody who'd killed and been commited would be released back into society before they were really cured. And people can make themselves unreadable. Or they project conflicting messages. I remember the looks an interracial couple got from us when visiting the local KH--God's people, right, but there was a chill in the room.

    I can be very paranoid over something completely insignificant and the other hand I can do or say the most offensive thing and not have any idea that I have done something wrong!

    I do this less than before, but I still do it. Many of us probably do it and don't realize it because we're never called to account for it. For me, I trace it from my mother's last marriage to a guy who drank and was physically/verbally and maybe emotionally abusive to my mother, brother, and me. I never had a lot of therapy for it in the 30 years since (she once wondered, after I'd broached the subject years later, how it would affect me) but gradually I'm healing from it.

    One thing that's helped me is to see I have redeeming qualities. I can be sensitive, and I know sometimes my tries at humor go beyond what's best sometimes...who doesn't?...and I cut myself some slack and try not to do it again. A sense of humor helps too. People care for me, I've been commended for how well-behaved my children are (discipline has advanced as they grew older). I can hold down a job and do jobs I hate sometimes because others depend on me. (This is not a slam at your not getting that job, btw.) These are things I can take a measure of pride in personally. You no doubt have things you can say are good about yourself as well. Be positive.

    I agree with the poster who said making friends in Las Vegas would be tough. Not only is the population more transient, such as weekend gamblers, but the culture of the city--Vegas has a rep for gambling, for illicit sex, quickie marriages/divorces. These things all point to transiency. Non-permanence. People won't want to connect deeply with others (vertically) because of the pain of relationships ending soon. LV isn't Walton's Mountain.

    When you meet someone: How do you talk to them?

    Most people enjoy talking about themselves, so you might ask about anything they've seen/read/visited etc., that means a lot to them. Who have they met who's well-known? An actor? Sports figure? Pick a topic of conversation of mutual interest. Not something somber, like the DC sniper, but less morbid things like the World Series, something of local interest, etc.

    It'll work out. You'll see. Good luck on the test!

  • RubyTuesday
    RubyTuesday

    Surely they have single organizations.When I first moved to CA. I joined a hiking club.I met alot of friends there.
    I used to say stupid things all time (still do ..just not as much)I learned to keep my mouth shut most of the time.I find when I just smile at people they seem to be open to me. When you push your self on people ..you just seem desperate and what a turn off!!I'm not saying you do these things..This is what i used to do.
    E-mail me if you need to talk...I'm not an expert..but my life is so much nicer now that I know how to talk to people(most of the time)

  • BeelzeDub
    BeelzeDub

    I also have trouble making new friends, even when I was a JW.

    Check out some internet dating sites like match.com These are other people looking to meet new people too. You will have more dates than you know what to do with. You will be able to meet new people in the comfort of your own home and then go out if it looks like you have something in comon.

    It worked for me.... this is what I know.

    Best wishes, I may be coming to Vegas next year for a confrence, if I do I will lookyou up before I come.

    B.D.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit